Scary Santas Spread Holiday Fear

Ol' Saint Nick calls this move the "Lie Detector." It never fails.

Is this a production still from the filming of "A Saw Christmas?"

This Santa has a message for all you people who don't think he sees you when you're sleeping: he sees, and he's going to punch your stupid fat face in with a coal-miner's glove.

Do you know how drunk you have to be to piss in your own beard? They don't even arrest you for being that drunk, they just wait for you to die.

It's rare that Santa actually ends a kid's life on the lap - he prefers to wait until Christmas night, when everybody is sleeping. But this little twerp had it coming.

Look at that kid. He's about to go Super Saiyan on Santa and just blow his head off, and he knows it. These are Santa's last minutes on earth. Hope you didn't want an Xbox.

How would you put your kids on the lap of a guy this drunk? Seriously, you could probably light his aura on fire, he's knocked back so much cheap rye. There's vomit in all the stockings.

Okay, this is just not appropriate. That's a little kid on your lap and you're looking at her like she's on Cinemax at 3 in the morning.

What do you think is in those bags? If you answered candy or presents, you're a charming optimist. I'm thinking either snakes or Silence Of The Lambs style skin suits.