The release of Shark
Night 3D this week had us thinking: Yeah, sharks can be pretty scary, but
Shark Night is far from the most frightening night we can imagine. Discovery
Channel has a whole week dedicated to the cartilaginous underwater beasties, so
how terrifying could one night of them possibly be?
So, to put the upcoming film Shark Night 3D into a little better perspective, we've assembled a
list of the most fear-inducing, teeth-chattering, fingernail-biting, utterly
terrifying nightly situations we can possibly imagine. Check out these other frightening nights...if you dare!
Other Frightening Nights
If you're afraid of the water, Shark Night 3D is bound to give you nightmares. If you're not, maybe some of these other frightening nights will.
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By Man Handsome September 2, 2011 |
| 6 | Date Night |
No, we aren't talking about the movie, which UGO glowingly described as "one chopped up, messy scene after another." What we're referring to here is an actual, honest-to-god date night. After spending weeks trolling OKCupid and lying about how much you love Ice Age or Beirut or whatever pussy rock people are into these days, you have to meet some broad and buy her dinner and/or drinks while desperately trying to entertain her, while she brings absolutely no material of her own. All in the service of maybe catching a (probably terrible) HJ.
Credit: Chrysalis
| 5 | Wedding Night |
Even worse than that first date? Yes, there are other frightening nights out there, my friend.
How about your wedding night? You know, when you finally give up and realize that your geeky ass isn't going to do any better than your most recent vacuous, aggressively decent-looking conquest. Your wedding night could go one of two terrifying ways: 1) Your lady's a virgin, which, honestly, sounds absolutely awful, or 2) You've banged the bottom out of that shit, and then have to pretend like it's something special when you hit it in the Honeymoon Suite of an overpriced resort.
| 4 | Night of the Uncanny Valley |
Some other frightening nights aren't even an official nights, per se. Instead, they fester in the deepest, darkest recesses of our most horrifying nightmares. Described by Wiktionary as "A range of appearances, mannerisms, and/or behaviors subtly different from humanoid in an otherwise humanoid figure that may cause negative reactions, such as fear, discomfort, or revulsion," the uncanny valley is the place inhabited by mannequins, Max Headroom and Realdolls. Absolutely terrifying.
Credit: Universal Pictures
| 3 | Girls' Night Out |
Some other frightening nights don't sound so bad at first. The idea of a bunch of broads roaming the streets together is kind of an intriguing one - a fantasy of sexy ladies drinking, partying and cruising for dudes. But the problem with that is that every woman wants to hang out with the same type of person: Someone uglier than her. That means that even if you start with the hottest woman you've ever seen, by the time she invites her fourth friend, she's down to cave troll level, resulting in a gaggle of screeching harpies that aren't even good-looking.
| 2 | Hurricane Night |
For days, we were told to absolutely dread the night of August 27, 2011. The rain was going to come down so hard it could drive a hole through your skull, the wind would be so fast that it'd knock your dick up into your body and the ensuing run on essential supplies would see our society crumble into a hellish nightmare future literally overnight. Unfortunately, something worse happened: Absolutely nothing. Instead, we were forced into spending an entire evening inside with our loved ones, which ended up being even worse than Family Game Night, as we were kind of expecting to see A/C units get ripped out of people's windows.
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