The Stigma of the Older Gamer
by ted2112, HSM team writer
Video games are for kids, right? So what happens when you are supposed to outgrow video games, and move on to more socially acceptable adult pursuits?
I’ve been a gamer since the Atari 2600. The hook was in my mouth, and that’s just where I wanted it. I’ve evolved with gaming, and been excited with every twist and turn that new technology has brought. When the Nintendo jumped from 8 to 16 bits I was elated. When Sony introduced the optical drive in the PlayStation I was floored. And I am as excited about the PS4 today as I was the PS2 ten years ago. I consider myself fortunate — but for many adults gaming today, it’s a pursuit best done in secret.
The stigma of adults gaming is something I just don’t understand. We are encouraged to play video games as children. We save our allowance and beg parents around holidays, it’s good and natural…yet at some point many of us are expected to stop and leave it all behind. Times do seem to be changing somewhat, and I see a change in younger generations that are more meshed in the evolving technology. This new wave of gamers have smart phones and has learned to be computer savvy at a very early age. Gaming, now more than ever, is a much more social pastime. For many gamers, however, gaming is still considered “kid stuff” and a time-waster.
I know many older gamers that keep their gaming to themselves. They wait until their spouses go to work, or the kids are at school; to them, it’s just not worth the fighting, misunderstanding and trying to explain to a non-gamer what it truly means to them. Myself personally, I have seen many people my age leave gaming at a time when the industry is exploding with things we could only dream of back in the day, or who use their kids as an excuse for keeping up with being a gamer. Why is there no room for the older gamer in today’s age of tolerance and acceptance?
Did you know the average age of a gamer is 30 years old? This is hardly kid stuff. These are consenting adults with their own money making time to enjoy their pursuit of happiness, yet many articles and one particular study by the Center for Disease Control paints a picture of an adult gamer as a overweight loner who may have mental problems. One study was particularly harsh on older female gamers, calling their use of video games as self medicating.
You see, society isn’t particularly fond of older gamers. I myself am secure in my gaming, yet I know when to keep my gaming to myself in certain social circles. So, if the average age of a gamer is in the thirties, yet there is this negative perception of older gamers, it plain to see why a great many keep their gaming to themselves.
I don’t feel it’s a matter of technology. Most of my non-gamer friends have the latest and greatest tech, from TVs to tablet computers. They are proficient at Angry Birds, tweet and use Facebook regularly. I don’t think it’s a particular problem with gaming consoles as well. Millions have a PS3 or Xbox and stream Netflix. Many of my friends own a large collection, including Madden NFL, NBA Jam, Wii Sports and Tiger Woods Golf. If I were to give them a copy of Final Fantasy I think they would recoil in horror.
I also feel it’s not a matter of time. Our society celebrates the three- to four-hour sports event. The average NFL game or NASCAR race is just over three hours long, and a baseball game can push four hours. We sit on our couches with a smorgasbord of food and revel in the spirit of games, yet for many of us to do that in front of the very same TV with video games would mean “real problems.” I also don’t consider it a problem with losing yourself in a non-reality situation. The motion picture and television industry have never been more profitable, and have perfected the art of creating fantasy worlds that rival anything in gaming,
So if it’s not a matter of technology, the gaming consoles, time, or losing yourself in fantasy, what is it then?
Socially acceptable for all ages.
Could it be simple prejudice? Is there a misconception that older gamers who play a particular type of game are bad? It seems it’s totally okay to play casual games from your iPhone, but an MMO or RPG could get you labeled as a freak. What does this say about us as a society? Are gamers, particularly older gamers, considered outsiders?
We are taught fairy tales about Santa Claus as children; we see Disney movies and are told to believe. After a while, however, we are expected to turn our backs and grow up. This is understandable in a way, but to forget the lessons that lie in the heart of these things is unforgivable, and this is what I feel may separate gamers from the masses.
I like to think of older gamers as having the Peter Pan Syndrome. They refuse to grow up. They rise to their adult responsibilities and commitments, but refuse to let go of the simple joy of gaming. They refuse to stop being young at heart, and see a world much bigger than themselves. They are dreamers and see the hidden art that lies all around us, and if gaming means being ostracized from people who might not understand, so be it.
Or, in so many cases, they unfortunately hide it.
I hope the day comes when that gulf between gamers and the mainstream world isn’t as wide. Unlike many of our favorite video game characters, we all grow older; so when we do will we stop gaming? I hope we don’t. I hope that people from every generation have a common thread that binds us together and makes us a stronger society. I hope that the stigma of being an older gamer erodes with each passing generation. It is my hope that the world sees video games for the art form it truly is, and understands the participants and purveyors of this art are all everyday people, much like ourselves, both young and old.
November 2nd, 2012 by ted2112 | 11 comments
ted2112 is a writer and a Bass player that has been both inspired and takes to heart Kurt Vonnegut words...."we are here on planet Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone tell you different."
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I completely agree with you.
I’m tired of people saying stuff like ”You’re an adult now, gotta be a serious man and earn alot of money even if you’re not happy you’ll be successful etc etc”
I’m not an adult yet but anyways.
I’m 60 plus (age denial after little bit) starting out on Vic20, Nintendo and several others. I don’t play games as much as I used to due in part to health but mostly to the things to do in Home which has some nice games and apartment decoing which I love and now even city building!!! I am surprised I enjoy that so much because I hated a precious city game (title forgotten) from years ago and I had little use for the Sims which I never got far on due to dislike.
Although I don;t play then often at all, sports games like baseball, football, and hockey are my favourites… at least in my heart. I done lost my coordination though so I use coach or manage mode if available or barring that I’ll set things up and just put the controller on center and watch the game. It doesn’t take four hours either.
By far mostly the things on Home though. Maybe they’ll have some sort of sports game on Home? I think there will be one and I’m a waiting.
There are very few social situations that I’d hide my passion for games. Games, to me, are like reflections if your true self sometimes. Games like Heavy Rain can teach us things we cant learn from other, more passive media. Like that bit in Heavy Rain where you have to go shoot a man to save your own son. After chasing him around his house while he pleaded for his life, we landed in his daughter’s bedroom, and I was there, with the gun to his head ready to paint the walls with his brain, when I noticed, those walls had kids drawings pinned to them. This guy was a father too. So do I kill him to save my child and in doing so, take away another child’s daddy?
I didn’t, I left him sobbing in that bedroom while I resolved how else to save my son. Funny though, I always thought I’d have shot him.
Thats not quite what I’d call child’s play, is it? And as I said, unlike TV or movies, I learned something about MYSELF. Oh, I’m in my 30’s BTW.
KEEP GAMIN’ BRUTHA! : D
I shot a friend in Bootlegger 29 and I didn’t feel very good about it. However, in F.U.B.A.R I don’t mind one little bit attacking their base. Maybe I look at the latter as a chess game?
Yes but there is even further potential for gaming. Somewhere along the line society has lost the idea that learning -actual education can be fun and enjoyable. Instead we stick our children in “programs” that champion “indoctrination” over “education.” Games have the potential become far more educational than they are already are. Imagine learning law from something like LA Noir, or Socio-anthropology from a game similar to Tycoon. The concepts are there in play and are learned in application. Its an interesting thought.
What a great article. I for one have “Peter Pan Syndrome” and I am proud of it! I have always been a kid at heart and I love playing all sorts of games. I love adventure games, MMO’s and games on my iPad. I think if people are critical of an older gamer, maybe if they tried it out for themselves, they’d learn that gaming is fun! Again, great read!
Great article indeed. I have been gaming since Zork and the Intellivision. I still have it, and my NES,PS1,PS2 and now the PS3 and soon the 4. I don’t shy away from saying I play video games. In fact I make a proud statement about it.
I enjoy playing video games, it keeps me close to home with my family. I also use gaming when dealing with the younger generation. It’s an ice breaker. When I go to a house/dorm the first thing I look for is a gaming system. I’ll then say oh I see you have a (insert system) what games do you play.
I’ll watch them glance to their system and name a couple of the most popular games that a parent might know. I usually respond with yeah those are good games, have you ever played … and I go through the list in my 95+ game library. Some look at me like how do you know those games, and others will start telling me their tales of how they beat a certain game. I’ve even helped a few stuck on certain spots in a game that I’ve already finished.
But they all say they would have never suspected me as a gamer. Most people don’t expect a 42 year old Police Officer to be a gamer, but there’s a few of us. As for the social setting, I tell people that I play for a hobby.
I don’t care if I’m speaking with a group from the president’s office, or a bunch of students. It’s what I enjoy. If it’s not something you like that is fine with me, but it’s my hobby and you asked. I would like to see a golfer in a E3 setting not feel out of place when they are asked what do you do for a hobby?
I think gaming is slowly becoming more sociably accepted. Either they have played some games themselves or know someone who plays games. Nowadays most people have played some type of video game. I can remember playing games with my grandfather, it was quality time that will always be with me. I am happy to bring that same experience to my children.
I don’t plan on stopping because I’m getting older,in fact my wife mentioned that she was going to put “Respawning” on my tombstone.
this is a great comment! Yes and it is potentially something a family could do together. Just like a board game night.
It is now being said that women are the number one group of internet gamers. These are casual games like the ones played on Facebook and the like though. Both of my brothers play games and we grew up loving gaming in its many aspects, board,cards, and my dad was the influence that made all of us avid gamers. If he had lived to see the advent of video gaming, I could see him still at it at age 88 now. I am not afraid to tell people about my love of gaming, and yes it has caused people in my real life to look at me and not understand the attraction. Being older and a woman both can be a double whammy when it comes to that, as until recently women gamers were thought to be a bit weird anyway. Great article Ted as always.
I love being a Grey Gamer, and I have a whole club in Home dedicated to people who are over 30 that I hope helps younger people understand that just because you are older doesn’t mean you are dead, LOL.
TEDDY!
You wrote the article and it came out great by the way… This is fantastic. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
This was a very interesting read and a well written article.
I would like to share my own experience of the stigmatism of being an “older” gamer. First of all, some info about me;
I am a 30 year old male living in the UK
I have my own home.
I have a respectable full time job and I earn a lot more than the regional and national average salary.
I served in the British army for 7 years during which time I went to Afghanistan twice.
My hobbies are gaming, reading books, music (i play the guitar and the piano) and keeping fit.
I enjoy being social with my friends and family either at home or in town.
I like to ride motorbikes.
I would not consider myself to be what is described as a “typical gamer” (overweight, socially awkward loner) but quite the opposite.
So, I have been with my girlfriend who is 28 for a year, and a month ago she moved in with me. A few days ago we had an argument (by which I mean a one way conversation) where she told me that she didn’t approve of my gaming hobby. She told me that she thought it was childish and “sad” and that she couldn’t respect me and that she was embarrassed by the fact that I play computer games. She even stated that she was less attracted to me because she thought I was “less manly” for playing a game.
Now. I think it is very important at this point to state what my gaming habits are:
I play when my girlfriend is not at home and I have free time. This equates to probably one night a week for a few hours.
The only time I play when my girlfriend is in the house is when she is watching a tv show that I couldn’t sit through (for example The X Factor).
The thing that I find really difficult to understand is that it is socially acceptable for me to sit and stare brain dead at a tv for 4-6 hours a night (average adult spends 4 hours per day watching tv) but it is not socially acceptable to play a video game where I interact with people and talk to friends.
It was this idea that brought me to this article. I don’t openly admit to friends or people who I may have just met that I am a gamer. This is because I know that a lot of people will judge me because of the idea that gamers aren’t “cool”. Now I’m not going to say that the hardcore gamers out there who have gone too far and play video games for 10 hours a day are cool or are they the typical example of what a gamer is. But what I am going to say is that this idea, this image, is what people think a gamer is. People have this idea that they are wasters. That they are the socially awkward geeks that tv and movies portray them as. And because of this stigmatism most gamers, like me, don’t openly admit to being a gamer. And I believe that these people are the majority of what gamers are. Which is intelligent, hard working people who choose a different form of entertainment from what the mainstream is doing. Which us to stare brain dead, at a tv, not moving or interacting with anyone. Not speaking to anyone. Why is that behavior more socially acceptable?!