Comments on: The Stigma of the Older Gamer

By: Spuggy

Spuggy — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 15:28:48 +0000

This was a very interesting read and a well written article.
I would like to share my own experience of the stigmatism of being an “older” gamer. First of all, some info about me;
I am a 30 year old male living in the UK
I have my own home.
I have a respectable full time job and I earn a lot more than the regional and national average salary.
I served in the British army for 7 years during which time I went to Afghanistan twice.
My hobbies are gaming, reading books, music (i play the guitar and the piano) and keeping fit.
I enjoy being social with my friends and family either at home or in town.
I like to ride motorbikes.
I would not consider myself to be what is described as a “typical gamer” (overweight, socially awkward loner) but quite the opposite.

So, I have been with my girlfriend who is 28 for a year, and a month ago she moved in with me. A few days ago we had an argument (by which I mean a one way conversation) where she told me that she didn’t approve of my gaming hobby. She told me that she thought it was childish and “sad” and that she couldn’t respect me and that she was embarrassed by the fact that I play computer games. She even stated that she was less attracted to me because she thought I was “less manly” for playing a game.
Now. I think it is very important at this point to state what my gaming habits are:
I play when my girlfriend is not at home and I have free time. This equates to probably one night a week for a few hours.
The only time I play when my girlfriend is in the house is when she is watching a tv show that I couldn’t sit through (for example The X Factor).
The thing that I find really difficult to understand is that it is socially acceptable for me to sit and stare brain dead at a tv for 4-6 hours a night (average adult spends 4 hours per day watching tv) but it is not socially acceptable to play a video game where I interact with people and talk to friends.

It was this idea that brought me to this article. I don’t openly admit to friends or people who I may have just met that I am a gamer. This is because I know that a lot of people will judge me because of the idea that gamers aren’t “cool”. Now I’m not going to say that the hardcore gamers out there who have gone too far and play video games for 10 hours a day are cool or are they the typical example of what a gamer is. But what I am going to say is that this idea, this image, is what people think a gamer is. People have this idea that they are wasters. That they are the socially awkward geeks that tv and movies portray them as. And because of this stigmatism most gamers, like me, don’t openly admit to being a gamer. And I believe that these people are the majority of what gamers are. Which is intelligent, hard working people who choose a different form of entertainment from what the mainstream is doing. Which us to stare brain dead, at a tv, not moving or interacting with anyone. Not speaking to anyone. Why is that behavior more socially acceptable?!

By: riffraffse7en

riffraffse7en — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 16:29:37 +0000

Yes but there is even further potential for gaming. Somewhere along the line society has lost the idea that learning -actual education can be fun and enjoyable. Instead we stick our children in “programs” that champion “indoctrination” over “education.” Games have the potential become far more educational than they are already are. Imagine learning law from something like LA Noir, or Socio-anthropology from a game similar to Tycoon. The concepts are there in play and are learned in application. Its an interesting thought.

By: riffraffse7en

riffraffse7en — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 16:18:50 +0000

TEDDY!

You wrote the article and it came out great by the way… This is fantastic. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

By: riffraffse7en

riffraffse7en — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 16:16:15 +0000

this is a great comment! Yes and it is potentially something a family could do together. Just like a board game night.

By: Burbie52

Burbie52 — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 15:41:58 +0000

It is now being said that women are the number one group of internet gamers. These are casual games like the ones played on Facebook and the like though. Both of my brothers play games and we grew up loving gaming in its many aspects, board,cards, and my dad was the influence that made all of us avid gamers. If he had lived to see the advent of video gaming, I could see him still at it at age 88 now. I am not afraid to tell people about my love of gaming, and yes it has caused people in my real life to look at me and not understand the attraction. Being older and a woman both can be a double whammy when it comes to that, as until recently women gamers were thought to be a bit weird anyway. Great article Ted as always.
I love being a Grey Gamer, and I have a whole club in Home dedicated to people who are over 30 that I hope helps younger people understand that just because you are older doesn’t mean you are dead, LOL.

By: Krinedawg

Krinedawg — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 11:15:20 +0000

Great article indeed. I have been gaming since Zork and the Intellivision. I still have it, and my NES,PS1,PS2 and now the PS3 and soon the 4. I don’t shy away from saying I play video games. In fact I make a proud statement about it.
I enjoy playing video games, it keeps me close to home with my family. I also use gaming when dealing with the younger generation. It’s an ice breaker. When I go to a house/dorm the first thing I look for is a gaming system. I’ll then say oh I see you have a (insert system) what games do you play.
I’ll watch them glance to their system and name a couple of the most popular games that a parent might know. I usually respond with yeah those are good games, have you ever played … and I go through the list in my 95+ game library. Some look at me like how do you know those games, and others will start telling me their tales of how they beat a certain game. I’ve even helped a few stuck on certain spots in a game that I’ve already finished.
But they all say they would have never suspected me as a gamer. Most people don’t expect a 42 year old Police Officer to be a gamer, but there’s a few of us. As for the social setting, I tell people that I play for a hobby.
I don’t care if I’m speaking with a group from the president’s office, or a bunch of students. It’s what I enjoy. If it’s not something you like that is fine with me, but it’s my hobby and you asked. I would like to see a golfer in a E3 setting not feel out of place when they are asked what do you do for a hobby?
I think gaming is slowly becoming more sociably accepted. Either they have played some games themselves or know someone who plays games. Nowadays most people have played some type of video game. I can remember playing games with my grandfather, it was quality time that will always be with me. I am happy to bring that same experience to my children.
I don’t plan on stopping because I’m getting older,in fact my wife mentioned that she was going to put “Respawning” on my tombstone.

By: LostRainbow

LostRainbow — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 05:31:24 +0000

What a great article. I for one have “Peter Pan Syndrome” and I am proud of it! I have always been a kid at heart and I love playing all sorts of games. I love adventure games, MMO’s and games on my iPad. I think if people are critical of an older gamer, maybe if they tried it out for themselves, they’d learn that gaming is fun! Again, great read!

By: Kid Fleetfoot

Kid Fleetfoot — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 09:10:36 +0000

I shot a friend in Bootlegger 29 and I didn't feel very good about it. However, in F.U.B.A.R I don't mind one little bit attacking their base. Maybe I look at the latter as a chess game?

By: KrazyFace

KrazyFace — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 08:41:33 +0000

There are very few social situations that I’d hide my passion for games. Games, to me, are like reflections if your true self sometimes. Games like Heavy Rain can teach us things we cant learn from other, more passive media. Like that bit in Heavy Rain where you have to go shoot a man to save your own son. After chasing him around his house while he pleaded for his life, we landed in his daughter’s bedroom, and I was there, with the gun to his head ready to paint the walls with his brain, when I noticed, those walls had kids drawings pinned to them. This guy was a father too. So do I kill him to save my child and in doing so, take away another child’s daddy?

I didn’t, I left him sobbing in that bedroom while I resolved how else to save my son. Funny though, I always thought I’d have shot him.

Thats not quite what I’d call child’s play, is it? And as I said, unlike TV or movies, I learned something about MYSELF. Oh, I’m in my 30’s BTW.

KEEP GAMIN’ BRUTHA! : D

By: Kid Fleetfoot

Kid Fleetfoot — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 23:46:57 +0000

I'm 60 plus (age denial after little bit) starting out on Vic20, Nintendo and several others. I don't play games as much as I used to due in part to health but mostly to the things to do in Home which has some nice games and apartment decoing which I love and now even city building!!! I am surprised I enjoy that so much because I hated a precious city game (title forgotten) from years ago and I had little use for the Sims which I never got far on due to dislike. Although I don;t play then often at all, sports games like baseball, football, and hockey are my favourites... at least in my heart. I done lost my coordination though so I use coach or manage mode if available or barring that I'll set things up and just put the controller on center and watch the game. It doesn't take four hours either. By far mostly the things on Home though. Maybe they'll have some sort of sports game on Home? I think there will be one and I'm a waiting.

By: UnknownAnon

UnknownAnon — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 20:47:41 +0000

I completely agree with you.

I’m tired of people saying stuff like ”You’re an adult now, gotta be a serious man and earn alot of money even if you’re not happy you’ll be successful etc etc”

I’m not an adult yet but anyways.