Welcome, Men In Black
by Gideon, HSM team writer
Congratulations. You’re everything we’ve come to expect from years of PlayStation Home gaming. Now please step this way…
You’ll dress only in the outfit specially sanctioned by Loot MIB Special Services.
Your entire avatar needs to be carefully crafted to leave no lasting memory whatsoever with anyone you encounter.
You’re a glitch, a rumor. Recognizable only as an error and dismissed just as quickly.
You are no longer part of “the system.” We’re above the system. Over it. Beyond it.
We’re “them.” We’re “they.”
Welcome to the Men in Black
Welcome, recruit. I am Agent G and I have been assigned to show you the ropes, or string you up by them. That choice is entirely yours. You are being given an opportunity to see something that thousands think they see on a regular basis but only a handful of specialized individuals get to see behind. Behind the glitz and glamour of Hollywood CG tricks and effects, you’ll find us.
Well, this isn’t Hollywood, sport, and you’re not in the MiB quite yet.
This is the Loot Men in Black Headquarters on PlayStation Home. Here you will be tested, observed, analyzed, critiqued, judged, graded and more than likely failed. That doesn’t mean you aren’t going to give us your all, does it?
Good. Now let’s begin.
The Loot Men in Black headquarters is the latest in virtual recruitment technology. Once you pass the initiation that has been situated in the Hub, you enter the public space and will be treated to a series of tests. Not all tests are apparent and you will never know when they commence or conclude. Through these tests we will gauge your aptitude, adaptitude, serenitude, connectitude, impromptitude, fortitude, and any other “itudes” we manage to come up with. This test will be difficult and taxing on your psychological and physiological self. We will push you to your limits and then shove you over the edge just to see if you can fly. But first, you have to sign in.
At the HQ Check In, you have a small questionnaire to complete. Be as honest with these answers as you can, because the results of this test may very well determine your usefulness to the MIB. Depending on how you answer, you may be assigned as a field agent, a researcher, an extra-planetary ambassador or you might have to clean up after Frank. And believe me. You do NOT want to clean up after Frank.
Just look at all that raw potential. Is everyone ready to become alien blaster dust?
Once signed into the HQ Check In, feel free to explore the Lobby. Don’t forget to examine both the photo-op area and the hostile-recognition area. You probably noticed the use of standees in the lobby in lieu of 3 dimensional interactive articulated representations of the sorts of beings you’ll come across if you do indeed become one of the Men in Black. All I’ll say is the economic recession has hit every department of the government, even the ones funded through filtered channels of laundered confiscated money that doesn’t exist in any ledger anywhere. Well, that and the Segway didn’t take off like we thought it would. So, we had to cut a few corners on the aesthetics of the place. That doesn’t make these tests any less valuable.
When you logged into the HQ Check In, you received a camera. This was so you could document your progress throughout the duration of the tests. I suggest you take as many pictures as you can since each one is going to be overly scrutinized for its composition and clarity. You’ll likely notice that there are some improvements over the camera you normally use in PlayStation Home. The most noticeable of which is the repulse-tripod. With this little gizmo, you can leave your camera where ever you desire while you run about the scene like a giddy little schoolgirl. You can even run out of frame if you wish and get stuck on the corner of a wall or something. Our camera is a vast improvement over the standard Home camera and hopefully this technology will eventually find its way into the hands of every Home citizen; alien or otherwise.
Just look at all that alone-ness. Drop a pin. I dare you.
The other feature of the camera is the spatial separation module. This feature can physically separate the camera’s user from all others within the room so that the room appears to be empty, even though it is not. Don’t worry about that pesky Pauli Exclusion Principle, we’ve found a way around that. All you need to know is that once activated, you will be completely alone in the lobby, or any other part of the Loot MiB Headquarters. The activation of this feature can be tweaked so that those who know you personally can occupy your space-time, but this feature has proven to be buggy at best. Perhaps the feature will be fixed by our technicians soon.
When ready, feel free to enter the Central station where you will find access to the armory, garage and (depending on your alignment) access to the MiB offices or the Break Room. You will likely notice that the entirety of the Loot MiB headquarters is accessible without load screens. Central and the adjoining rooms, in keeping with the standards set forth by the standee characters in the Lobby, are sparsely filled and the entirety of the space has a lifeless quality to it. This is in stark contrast with the actual MiB Central, which is teeming with activity around the Nebulon clock. The few exceptions that keep the Loot MiB Headquarters from being completely stagnant are Frank, who is in the MiB offices, a couple of worms in the garage flying about and a worm on a computer in the break room.
Choose wisely... or choose them all!
The Armory is filled with every type of alien weapon imaginable, and some you probably can’t imagine. Aliennequins (alien mannequins), which are available for purchase, can also be seen in the Armory. I figure the boys down the hall want you to know what you’ll be up against if you’re one of the few to be chosen. You can purchase both equipable and personal space decorative weapons from the Armory. Once you become a full MiB member we don’t charge you for your firearms. But like I said before, funding has been a bit low.
Black on Black. Now THAT'S what I call coordination.
The Garage is chock full of vehicles that can also be purchased in ornamental form. We aren’t authorized to sell actual working vehicles, so these will have to do until you are an actual MiB initiate. I can see how some of these ornaments could be useful as props in various projects and machinimas within Home. Leave it to Loot to give Home users more toys with which to make videos. With black walls and floor, the space is rather dark; especially when compared to the sterile brightness of the rest of the MiB Headquarters.
There are two spaces in the Headquarter that are faction specific. The MiB offices can only be accessed by an MiB agent which, for the purpose of these tests, is you. Furniture is scarce in the offices, except for Frank, who will come with you as a companion for a price. Even the pug is strapped for cash these days. The Break Room is accessible only to those who have aligned with Aliens. This is an interesting space that, unlike the rest of the MiB space, feels somewhat lived in. Pizza is scattered about, books occupy the shelves and computers sit idly by. This space is by far the most interesting public space offering of the MiB Home Experience.
Only come here if you aren't FROM here. You've been warned.
Just be sure to explore every nook and cranny of the Headquarters, and don’t remove your clearance, or we will be forced to Neuralize you and send you back to the Lobby.
At some point after the initial questionnaire and subsequent tests it is recommended that each potential agent revisit the HQ Check In station and try to answer the questions in a manner that would yield them alternative clearance. At MIB, it is not only vital to know the soft fleshy parts of the aliens, it is also vital to be empathetic to their plight and understand their struggles as best you can.
During your tests you will be rewarded with a large collection of items. From equip-able weaponry to standees and clothes, the free rewards will go a long way in beginning your collection of MiB equipment in PlayStation Home, regardless of your desire to have a virtual MiB collection.
I hope you have found your visit to the MiB Headquarters enlightening, entertaining and encouraging. Feel free to come back and run through our tests again to see if you can improve upon your score, which you do not know and we will not reveal. We will be in contact with you within the next four to thirty-two months about your admission into our program.
Thank you for your interest and please feel free to go see Men in Black 3 (now in theaters) for additional briefing and play Men in Black: Alien Crisis (now on PSN) for additional training.
Now, we have just one more test…
- Excellent use of the MIB property for Home
- A large assortment of items to purchase
- A good winnable offering, free to all
- Able to “try on” outfits before you buy them at the "HQ Check In"
- New Camera features (for just this space)
- Seamless space transitions
- Frank Companion
- Unavoidable cardboard cutouts, in HQ and now in inventory
- Atmosphere is lifeless and empty
- Ornamental vehicles are a tease
- Frank doesn’t speak
May 29th, 2012 by Gideon | 5 comments
Gideon is a team writer for HomeStation Magazine and likes cheese in all its forms. Whether it be block, slice, cream, wheel, log, string or aerosol, Gideon cant resist the pungent bitter taste of good cheese. Heck, he'll even take mediocre cheese, as long as its slapped between two pieces of whole wheat bread with a little bit of mustard.
G, Did you just Flashy-thing me?
*Reads article again*
LOL very entertaining look at MIB Gideon. I love your quirky look at stuff. I just wish you were still making machinima as well as I always liked the ones you did. Good to see you back on the front page again. And the memory flasher was a brilliant way to end it.
I’ve been there twice or more, I think… maybe not. I can’t seem to remember. But, if I had, I would say, “You nailed it! Great article.”
Apparently, LOOT will be releasing a MIB personal space soon. If so, that might cause me to spend large amounts of money to decorate with all the MIB-branded items (I think I calculated something like $32 for all the MIB furniture items).
Side note: Enterbay will be releasing 1:6 scale figures of Agents J and K soon. The likenesses on the faces is uncanny. Agent F (Frank) is currently available via eBay, but will be included with Agent J as well. Agent K will come with an assortment of MIB weaponry.