Reality Is A Matter of Opinion
by SealWyf, HSM team writer
Mouse, the person who knows me best in any world, was angry.
I had just told a mutual friend, a woman who has no experience of gaming or online communities, that I had been promoted to General in the Homeling Collective. I had taken it slow, starting with “I am a gamer. I own a PlayStation 3 gaming console, which is connected to the Internet,” and building from there. I thought I had done a pretty good job of explaining online worlds, the communities that form in them, and the emotional depth of role-play.
But Mouse didn’t agree. In the car, on our way back to Washington, he lashed out. “You’re acting as if this is real.”
I should explain that, unlike our friend, Mouse does understand virtual life. We met over twenty years ago, on a LISTSERV email group devoted to vampires. Even after we discovered that we both lived in the DC area, much of our courtship took place in a Telnet-based MMO on a server in England. We played Dungeons and Dragons, fighting monsters I created from wire and polymer clay. We poured out megabytes of cooperative writing, spinning off an expanding universe of alternate selves — avatars of the mind, existing only in our stories. Mouse and I are both used to living the most important parts of our lives “behind our eyes”, in the world of mind and shared imagination.
But Mouse is not on the PlayStation Network, and consequently he is not on Home. I’ve shown it to him, but he has never held the controller. He has seen me as a Homeling, and banters with the humans who pilot other Homelings on Facebook. But the inner reality of Home, and of Homelings, he knows only from my descriptions, my HSM articles, and the fact that on many evenings our phone conversations are curtailed beause I am due online, to run or attend a virtual event.
I like to think that I am not delusional. I am aware that a General in the Homeling Collective is not the same thing as a General in the US Army. I am reasonably sure that I am not a space alien. I have no plans to shave off my real-world hair.
But making General was a real achievement, one on which I spent as much work and care as many real-world accomplishments. Being an active Homeling and Home-based writer takes approximately as much creative energy as my day-job, squeezed into odd bits of time between the day-job and sleep. I’m proud of my creations. I spend a lot of time thinking about where I can go from here.
To be honest, I’m still surprised, and slightly embarrased, when non-Homelings address me as “General.” Lately I’ve become a minor Home celebrity, the equivalent of a character actor in 1950’s B-grade movies. It’s fun. It’s hilarious at times. It’s even, when I allow myself to think about it, oddly gratifying. But it’s also a new experience for me. I’m a nerd by nature — the shy girl in braids in the corner of the school cafeteria, hiding behind a book. How did I end up at the cool kids’ table?
My argument with Mouse was brief, and felt unfinished. Later I mentally replayed it, thinking of better ways I could have stated my position. Because this is a conversation I am having more often in real life, as my colleagues become aware that, in another world, I am an alien officer. And, increasingly, I feel the need not to dismiss this other life, not to wave it off, or treat it as a joke and a role-playing game. Because Home, and Homelings, are not just a better form of Dungeons and Dragons. General SealWyf is real, in ways that my D&D character, Gertie the Slightly Incompetent Half-Elf, could never be.
I sincerely believe that this place, this Home is real. How is it real? my mental adversary inquires, arching an imagined eyebrow. I take a deep breath, and lay out my arguments.
First off, each avatar is controlled by a real person. Some of them are immature and boring. But they aren’t the ones with whom I spend my time. There are complex, intelligent people in Home, people with whom I have formed real friendships. Some of my best friends are people I know only in Home, just as others are people I know only on the Internet. It doesn’t bother me that we will never meet over lunch. It’s the minds that matter.
And, people being what they are, the emotions they awake are real as well. There’s the joy of a good friendship — but also the rage and pain of a friendship betrayed. I’ve experienced breakups in real life and on Home, and, believe me, there’s not much to choose between them, for sheer emotional intensity. They both rip you to pieces.
That much is obvious to anyone who has spent much time online. Friendship is the currency of the Net. But Home runs deeper than one-on-one connections. There is something about Home that spawns groups, from ephemeral “fams” to the complex arcana of the Homeling Collective. Groups have their own skills and their own dynamics. They require something resembling management.
The management skills you learn in Home are real — as real as the skills you bring to Home from real life. And, in many ways, it’s easier to learn them in a virtual world. Because Home is a microcosm, a simpler version of reality, with much of the forgiveness of a game — extra lives, if you will. Worst case, you make a new avatar and start over. Real worst case, you buy a new console to replace the one that’s been “bricked.” “Game over” is rarely permanent.
In real life, I’m not unsuccessful. I’m not in management, but that was largely my choice — I tried it, and found it did not match my skill set. I’m happiest when I’m alone with a computer, creating things of usefulness and beauty. There may be fifty real-world people who know my work, and half that number that who actually use it. This is sufficient. I don’t expect those numbers to change before I retire.
In Home, and in the meta-game surrounding Home, my power and visibility are limited only by the tools provided, the time I’m willing to spend, and my own imagination. In these worlds I can be an alien General. I can run art shows and make videos. I can be a writer with a substantial online following. Is it any wonder I’m addicted?
But the question still remains: how much of this world, this Home, is real? Isn’t it all just an elaborate game?
I would counter this question with another: How much of the world we assume is real, is just as virtual?
Let me explain. I grew up in the comfortable, claustrophobic world of the 1950’s, in a middle-class, civic-minded household. My family was active in the Camp Fire Girls, the Community Concert Association, and our Episcopal parish. Much of my childhood was spent in meetings, awards ceremonies, creative projects, fund-raisers, church services, concerts, choir rehearsals, and weekend-long work parties.
All of these were real-world activities. But they also had a symbolic dimension — the quintessentially human values of being useful, of making a difference, of serving something beyond ourselves. This symbolic dimension exists in all group activities, from meeting protocols to the rules and ideals of sports, from Fourth of July picnics to church services, from bake sales to field trips to the art museum.
And it is the symbolic dimension that is the important one, the one that justifies the activity. A meeting is not a random gathering of beings in a room. It is a structured act, convened for a purpose, which gives us the deeply human satisfaction of a communal life.
It was because of my early experiences with real-world community, that I totally got Homelings when I encountered them on Irem Beach. Here was a group with the physical stripped away, and the symbolic act laid bare. Groups in Home are real to me, because I have been in real groups. I thought, I know how to do this. I know about events and achievements, and the comforting bonds of friendship. In a world built from a gaming console and my own mind, I had come home.
So, is this real?
Yes, and also no. It is not yet real. But I would argue that in Home we are building a new reality, one that strips away the merely physical to expose the deeper meanings of our real-world existence. Home exists in a reality implied and prefigured by previous media — by the written word and telephones, broadcast media and film, role-playing games with and without computers, and the evolving complexity of the Internet. Step by step, we move away from the physical, and into the life of the mind. We live more of our lives, the parts of our lives that matter, behind our eyes.
Other media have prefigured this new reality. But they did not wholly predict it. Because in Home and other virtual communities, there is a new element — the deep freedom of action, which includes the re-creation of self as avatar, and the power to form groups. This is a truly new dimension, and it is just beginning. We cannot predict where it will end.
We are building this, you and I. In this place, this Home, we can be who we really are. And we can also be what we only dream. Even something as unlikely as an alien General who runs art shows.
March 8th, 2012 by SealWyf_ | 15 comments
SealWyf is a museum database programmer, who has been active in online communities since before the Internet, and in console gaming since the PS1. In games, she prefers the beautiful and quirky, and anything with a strong storyline. She is obsessed with creating new aesthetic experiences in PlayStation Home.
Seal, you have written, what is, quite possibly, the most beautiful article I have ever come across on virtual worlds. From my own experiences of virtual worlds I can honestly say this, they can be as REAL as you want them to be, and that doesn’t necessarily mean so much in the physical sense. Even I have a hard time in explaining SecondLife or Home to anyone outside of either community and fairly quickly those people will instantly think I’m ‘nuts’. It’s VERY hard to explain what a virtual world is, my best way for me to explain would be for those people to meet me there and they can experience it for themselves..and thats the keyword here ‘Experience’, otherwise how are those people ever to be able to understand.
But for those embarking on an adventure in a virtual world, wether Home or otherwise, be aware of the time that you are spending there, it can get quite addictive and take over your life if not careful.
One example is of a single mother I had met on a virtual world. She had gotten so much into the ‘game’ her sleep pattern changed, she didn’t get out much. In as little as 2 or 3 months, she lost all sense of reality and her baby daughter had to be taken into care by the authorities. Now I don’t know if it can go this far on Home..but it can happen, you can get lost in these worlds.
But on the flip side if handled right, they can be a fun and rewarding experience for everyone..
Fantastic read.. the Cheekster LIKES
You said it all! *cheers*
Wow Seal that was an amazing article describing how close the lines of reality and imagination can come sometimes. I think that they can even cross over into each other at times and that is where a lot of the creativity we have in us comes out. Your insights into this realm of real and imaginary are well wrought, and Home is a bit different as you point out because for many it is their only outlet for social acceptance or interaction. Very well done!
That was a very, very good article Seal. Cheeky is making good points too. When you teach a person what this is. It is an experience, and sharing it as such will only help for it to be something shared between friends. I really love this article Seal.
HOME is a system set up through which we can interact and socialize with other human beings using avatars. We can also play games whether shoot em ups or even solitaire.
If one is in a group in HOME and becomes a leader or follower that is reality. At least it is in HOME because we are interacting with other human beings. It may not get us much outside of HOME however.
HOME is also a form of escapism, a world of make believe but not one as real as those found in The Twilight Zone and X Minus One.
Oh yeah, when I can eat a sandwich or go to the bathroom in HOME, then perhaps I will consider it a real world. Till then it’s part of the world I live in, a make believe world (figure that one out if you will or figure that one in).
I wonder how many live in HOME. No one, at least not literally. One can tell the difference between a real and make believe world by whether we eat sandwiches or poop.
Yes, Kid,there are physical necessities that living in the ‘real world’ entail. However, I do not expect to be eating sandwiches and pooping in Heaven -- and it certainly won’t be a virtual reality to me (if I get there). I completely understand where Sealwyf is coming from with this article.
I may not completely understand where Sealwyf is coming from but I get the drift. At least I think I do.
It was very enjoyable and if something makes me think which it did then it is usually worthwhile.
I was not at all being critical of the article. I am just off the wall or even sometimes crazy but certainly not insane.
I don’t know what Heaven or Hell are like.
Fantastic article ! Many of my friends and even family members have a hard time understanding Home when I tell them about my experiences (polite staring looks). I think any who daydreams and has an imagination would feel right at home in Home. Real and unreal are blended together in the new form of society that is Home.
Some have a hard time relating messages to email, text communication to texting, voice chat to talking on the cell phone, etc. They just can’t see past the virtual world; somehow having an avatar makes it all fake.
Frankly, some of us, myself included, feel more comfortable socializing in a virtual world like Home. It is real and unreal, game and not a game. It is what you make of it, just like the so-called real world.
Thank you for your comments. I am grateful for the feedback, and even for the disagreement. It shows that people are thinking.
For those who object to the use of “real” for an experience that does not include bodily functions, here’s another way to look at it. Which part of you is the “I” — the body or the mind? Before you answer, let’s try a thought-experiment.
The aliens have landed, and they offer you a voyage to Arcturus as Earth’s first ambassador. But, because space travel and the Arcturan planetary surface are hostile to human life, they will download your consciousness into an android body. Your physical body will stay on Earth, where its needs will be cared for. But, until your mind can be reattached to it, your body will lack intelligence. It will be… a body. With, perhaps, the self-awareness of an intelligent earthworm.
You accept the offer. A year later, your mind returns from Arcturus and is re-integrated with your body. You are asked to present your experiences to all humanity on a global television link. As you stand behind the podium, which of these is your opening sentence?
1) For the past year, I have lived in interstellar space while my body stayed on Earth.
2) For the past year, while I continued to live on Earth, my mind traveled to the stars.
I think most people would use the first sentence. For most of us, the “I” is the mind. It’s the part of us that matters. And in that sense, it’s more real — even when it’s encased in an android shell — than a body which continues to eat and excrete, but doesn’t think about it.
Fortunately, with Home, we need not make that choice. We can have sandwiches and Homelings too. But, for many of us, the life behind the eyes is at least as important, and as real (in every sense that matters), as the world of rocks and tables, sandwiches and toilets.
HOME is where the heart is.
It’s where we want it to be whether it is where we are or some place we want to be.
I once decided to read a book of fiction and became engrossed in it and it at least seemed to me that my mind was taken away to the story of fiction which became real.
Watching TV, playing video games or traveling in Playstation’s HOME I sometimes have a sandwich or take a break to the toilet.
And sometimes I become so engrossed in HOME that like the time I read a novel HOME becomes my reality… in my mind’s eye anyway.
“To confine our attention to terrestrial matters would be to limit the human spirit.
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.”
Stephen Hawking
Excelent article, Seal. Much to chew on, Indeed. And we’ll get Mouse on Home yet; might have to get him a couple of bottles of chablis first, but its gonna happen!
Wonderful article!
When initially experiencing Home around October 2008, one of the first personal thoughts was, “How lost could someone get in this realm?”
Suffice it to say that, at the time, the wonderings of the nosdrugis avatar pilot were shallow in comparison of what was to come.
Shortly after, the Homelings were introduced to yours truly by the Collective’s birther. It was, and still is, amazingly enjoyable to blur the lines between the virtual, physical, and the mental. Not only the immersion of one’s self into the “Homeling virtual reality”, but the ease of blurring those lines for other users. How many times this question, “You do KNOW you’re NOT really an alien, don’t you?” was heard is unknown -- and always brings a chuckle. In fact, there were times when convincing users that the pilot of the nosdrugis avatar did NOT work for Sony took more effort than assimilating them into the Collective would have. Ha.
Being a member of the Homeling Collective facilitates a great number of satisfactions. Am certain quite a few other Home groups also lend well to this. Like-minded individuals, whether we are all playing, competing, discussing, or creating, and the feelings of camaraderie, friendship, and belonging, are all very real reasons for doing something. Especially when that something is a positive happening that brings happiness to many.
We are whatever we wish to be. Any time. Anywhere. It does not have to be physically tangible. If you feel it, it is real.
This was an amazing piece of writing and really puts into perspective the level of literary excellence here at HSM. I feel that ultimately what we are talking about is an experience, and that is a very real thing. How we get to that experience is kind of irrelevant, it’s that emotional connection that makes it, and keeps it real. Awesome article!