Age and Communication in Virtual Reality
by Dlyrius, HSM guest contributor
For those of us who remember, way back in the olden days when video gaming first began with Pong, Asteroids, and PacMan, progressing into Home seems totally natural. After all, we kind of earned a right to partake of the wonderful advances in technology that allow us to prance around as avatars in a 3D world, didn’t we?
However, I am willing to bet there isn’t one of us who hasn’t run across someone from the younger generations who hasn’t almost fainted in disbelief that we aren’t too busy knitting or selling TupperWare to play videogames once they found out our age. Assuming, of course, that you even share that information. Once again, the generation gap leaves all kinds of questions and confusion about what really goes on. So why not take a look at that and see what we find out? Who knows, we might all learn something about each other in the process.
As a total guess, I am going to say that the “target” age range for the average Home user is between fifteen and twenty-three years of age, even though on my personal friends list they range between twelve and seventy-three. When you consider this, it isn’t surprising that we can run into a lot of age bias from both the younger folks and the old codgers like me. Normally this isn’t an issue; I am here to have some fun, and help anyone I can along the way to do the same no matter their age. WhenI do run into someone who is totally amazed that a fifty-two-year-old woman has such a hot avatar, I usually end up reminding them that they don’t sell granny panties on Home…yet.
I have met plenty of folks who feel the need to lie about their age (not just those my age, but the younger ones as well). That has always been a source of confusion for me. When I ask them why, I hear things like, “No one will talk to me because I’m a kid,” or “I don’t want to seem like a perv because I’m here playing a game with kids.”
I guess it all boils down to maturity level when you interact with those around you. While positive that there are some who do it for some very good and others for very very bad reasons, I have never felt the need to lie about my age anywhere. After all, I earned every single minute of those decades, and while I might be mature and responsible, I totally refuse to grow up (much to my mother’s dismay, I might add).
It’s usually very easy to tell what age group you are dealing with when you meet someone, but there are some exceptions. Personally, I’ve met some astoundingly mature eighteen-year-olds, and some amazingly immature forty-year-olds along the way. Funny how virtual life can mimic real life sometimes, isn’t it? While I haven’t noticed that these differences have much to do with gender, I’m pretty sure it does play a part to some extent.
So to get more insight, I did the sensible thing: I went out and asked some young people what they thought about this subject, and here is what they had to say:
1. What do you think about the wide range of ages of the people on Home?
Of the folks I spoke with, most thought it was great we have such a wide age diversity on Home. After all, old people have all the money! Although everyone seemed to enjoy their interactions with others from different age groups, I did notice that the younger the player, the more unsettling this fact seemed to be. When asked why they felt this way, the responses ranged between “old people don’t belong in a game” to “old people are perverts if they play on Home.” Kind of makes you wonder what kind of real home life these kids have, doesn’t it?
2. Does having older people on home concern you? If so, why?
Majority opinion is that there isn’t much concern and it is a good thing; however, once again the pervert subject came up.
Now we all know that predators do lurk in the shadows of the internet, and Home is no exception. In fact I personally ran across one in Home and made an attempt to report him immediately to a Moderator. I gave her his exact ID, recounted what I witnessed and provided my time zone for reference. Back in the day when I worked as an admin on an IRC server, the entire network’s administrative staff got involved in matters of this nature — to the point of collecting chatlogs, tracing the IP address of the individual, and telephoning the local police to report the crime and offer chat logs as evidence for prosecution. It could be a bit time consuming, and we weren’t always sure if it did any good, but at least we tried.
Out of curiosity, how hard would it be, both in terms of technological and legal restrictions, to add “child predator” to the list of offenses we can report using the usual methods? While Sony may not choose to take it to the levels we did back in the day, perhaps they could at least investigate the conversation, verify ages when possible, and take appropriate action as warranted.
3. Do you ever find yourself using older Home players for advice?
Once again, overwhelming responses pointed to yes. When I inquired what types of advice they seek most, the responses fell into two categories:
1. Where someone purchased an item, and
2. Something to do with relationships.
In spite of the disturbing presence of potential sexual predators, there seems to be a certain level of trust that is given to us oldsters by the younger crowd when they are receptive to what we might have to say. They value our judgment, insight, and levelheadedness in what they consider a high stress situation. Now, this can mean anything from a war of words with a stranger to being deleted off someone’s friends list or breaking up with a partner. I, for one, am grateful for the opportunity to be a positive influence on someone’s life no matter their age, and welcome the chance to help out anyone who needs the ear or shoulder of someone who has “been there done that” more than once. Especially if it is possible I might be the only one they have. We all might be just avatars, but it does my heart good to know that there are plenty of them that honestly care about those in the world around them.
Let’s face it: Home is a gamer’s paradise, no matter your age or skill level. As for the diversity between generations, cultures, and beliefs? All I can really say is that this is a good thing. After all, if we were all the same, there would be nothing new to learn, no originality or uniqueness, and the world would be a pretty boring place.
March 15th, 2012 by Dlyrius | 16 comments
Dlyrius, a native Oregonian, has been an internet chat addict since the days of the old BBS services.
Love this! Awesome article, D =) Thanks for sharing!
Very nice article Dlyrius. I am also a “mature” woman as you well know and have found myself in all of these situations many times since coming on Home. I think that some of these kids who have objections to our being here think that video games wee invented last year or something. They are amazed that I am playing them at all at “my age.”
I have been sought out for advise by both young and older people, and I am glad they feel confident enough in their trust of me to do so, even though we have never met in real life. Age does have it’s perks sometimes, people seem to think you know things they don’t, and though it might not always be true, some wisdom does come with experience I guess.
Great piece you have written here, good to see you continue writing for us and looking forward to the next one.
Thanks Cynthia, I am very glad you enjoyed it!
Burbie: Thank you as well. It’s ironic that while “kids” won’t always seek us out for advice in the real world, they don’t hesitate to do it here. I guess I am thankful for that, because at least they are asking
Once again Dlyrius you take on a weighty subject and view it from all aspects. Nice work! I know I like to chat with older women because they don’t play mind games or change their wardrobe every 30 seconds.
punk: LOL, catch me on a “can’t make up my mind” day, I tend to change clothes several times a day to match my mood. I have even caught myself changing to match my surroundings.. god, I just cant stop decorating.. its a sickness, I need help hehehhe
In general I find it best trying to ‘humanize’ either side. “It isn’t just a ‘kid’ thing” or it isn’t “Just an adult thing”. The better and faster this sort of thing can be bridged over society the more successful relationships differences in ages will fall into place.
I have to agree, I honestly wish more people were open to communication without judgement
I don’t know how many conversations I’ve had in Home where the other person refuses to believe I’m over 60. The implication is that nobody over 20 could possibly be interested in games, or know currently slang, or even type reasonably fast. (They also refuse to believe that I’m “really a girl.”) To me, this is just as offensive as racism.
Seal: omg I know, 3 sentences into a conversation and I am being called a liar because I tell them my true age, and gender. How stupid, why even ask if you aren’t going to believe the answer. I just chalk it up to a lack of maturity on the other person’s end and call it good
I loved this article Dlyrius! Especially all the great comments. I am coming up this year on the big “50” birthday and I, like you, have never been very concerned about revealing my age. But I’ve learned over the years that it is much easier to be honest with people from the “get go,” up front. One good thing that age CAN bring with it, the ease of being honest. I enjoy interactions with all ages on Home and I also have friends aging from the, not so legal on Home-13 year old, to friends beyond their 70’s. I enjoy all my friends and have only one major criteria, and that is total respect from them to all on Home. I have to admit that I rather enjoy revealing my age to the annoying avi’s that then run screaming for the hills when they learn that they have been pursuing an “old lady!”
LOL, I have to admit that is one of my favorites too.. never ceases to make me laugh when they realize they were trying to grope a grandma!
Yeah I love throwing the age “bomb” at them pretty soon into the conversation. I usually just say I am old enough to be their mom when they ask my age and when they throw disbelief at me I say look at my name, that’s my birth year. That usually works. It can actually be a lot of fun watching the reactions we get from them can’t it?
LOL, it sure can be Burbie
good job & great article 8D
i wanna add something about the immature old pervs lol. i met a 46 years old man n the bowling alley & he was looking for a 23 years old girl to b his gf. WOW!!! a gf half of his age ??!!
it’s all n the end reminds us of 1 thing, how mature is the person behind this avatar ? a friend of mine is just 13 years old & i really thought he was 20 bcuz hes such a mature guy.
Thanks Rage, it sounds like you ran into a guy going through a serious case of MANopause. I’m willing to bet he recently bought a red sports car, and hair plugs! heheheheehe… sorry, I couldn’t help it, had to be said.
So he probably wound up with a 23 year old avatar gf who, in real life, is a 38 year old guy asking for PSN cards.