In Memoriam
by CheekyGuy, HSM team writer
On the night of Thursday September 7th, at 7.30 PM EST, I had just come back from a memorial service on Home. Now before you call me weird and go back to playing your COD Black Ops, allow me to explain.
You see, I didn’t think it was unusual to have people gather all in one place to remember a friend that sadly passed away just recently – even in a virtual setting.
Even though I had not known this person long, I could see that he was very popular amongst some of my own friends, and I had spoken to him enough times to know that he was always a positive person and that he was well liked, otherwise I wouldn’t have been there at the function. A function where so many people wanted to come along and show their respects for somebody that has become a true friend to them in the space of two years. And these are friends that live thousands of miles away from one another – literally across the planet. Yet in this one space – and because of advancements made through the Internet – it brings people together much, much closer than it ever had in twenty years.
This was the memorial service of Garfield-50, notorious bowling legend and longtime supporter of Home.
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The clubhouse was beautifully decorated, with vases full of flowers and a candlelit altar with a small fountain in view.
It was an emotional night as friends and family gave their thoughts and anecedotes of the person whose memorial service this was; from the many descriptions of him it was almost unanimous in that he was the kindest person you could possibly meet.
One friend of mine, Jack Russell – also a member of the Grey Gamers – had told a story of how our late friend contacted him in real life to tell him that he had given away his 500th Zombie Costume from his Deadspace on Home; this is the measure of his generousity. Others told stories of how he would help them when they were noobs, and helped them to find their way around Home and any free stuff that they could find, just to start them off.
Some people spoke through mic, and for some, it became difficult for them, given it being an emotional night. I had a lump in my throat just listening to them. Everybody took their turns getting up onto the stage to give their thoughts and stories. I took my opportunity to tell everyone how much I will miss his laugh, because he was such a positive man, no matter what happened to him in his real life.
He was known for his wild and wacky costumes or outfits. I told of a story of where friends and I once held a poker game at the London pub space and that he would instantly ‘bet’ before the flop which would drive Jack absolutely nuts, and our late friend would get a kick out of this and laugh hysterically.
I went back to my seat and felt the mixture of sadness and positivity flowing through the clubhouse. Everyone clearly absolutely adored this guy.
I have seen memorial services on SecondLife on a grand scale. There is an area where a huge monument stands and it would have the names of young and old victims of hate crime sketched onto it. Currently there are names going as far back as 1998.
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There would be an altar of sorts, upon which sits a book that reads out an account of such crimes and accounts of thoughts and opinions from friends and family members. You can walk away knowing that it really makes you think of all the cruelty in the world. But it feels good to know that somebody out there took the time to care, just like people took the time to care back in the clubhouse. The decorating, the organising and bringing friends from all over the world and the close family that were in attendance that night were evidence of this.
Yes, Home is still all about the fun and gaming and all of those things, but let’s not forget the social aspects of Home and what it can truly offer, in terms of friendship and possibly close relationships. And none of that fun, none of those games would exist without the people of Home.
Call it nuts or out of sync with logic, but there are such things as virtual marriages, and like what I have experienced tonight, a virtual remembrance of a friend that had died young. Only fifty, leaving behind a wife and child, who came especially on Home to be in attendance. This is the real social aspect of Home; this is the virtual community that exists on Home, and possibly on other virtual worlds. This is its beating heart.
Wacky costume get together in honor of Garfield's Memory
I wasn’t expecting to stay long — hell, I was just going to show my face for at least thirty minutes and be gone. But I felt a warmth in the clubhouse. For the first time in my real life, I felt a real sense of belonging that I didn’t feel as a kid. I had always felt like the outsider looking in. Now, here, in that moment and in that space, I felt as if I was a part of something and it felt real. It felt good.
After the memorial service we all headed to the Bowling Alley -our late friend’s favorite hang out spot – and we all dressed in the strangest and wacky costumes that we owned; things he would wear, and get into a line and dance in his memory.
When everything was all said and done, I took away with me something which was said before I left. I don’t know, maybe instead I heard a child’s voice say it in my head, before I said my goodbyes to all of the friends and good people that attended before logging out of Home:
“Heaven has found a new Angel that has come to claim his wings.”
Take care Garfield-50, my friend, wherever you are.
September 19th, 2011 by CheekyGuy | 11 comments
CheekyGuy is a loveable, mischievous Brit who first entered virtual reality via Second Life, and now frequents Home as a Grey Gamer to keep in touch with friends. In real life, Cheeky is a video editor who has just completed a Master's degree in screenwriting from Liverpool John Moores University.
Very nice, Cheeky.
I knew Garfield as he was one of the first members of the Grey Gamers. We used to talk quite regularly at first, then the club got bigger and life took over and he stopped attending the meetings. But that is all right, I still kept him on my friends list for months afterward until he requested that we go our separate ways as we both really needed the spaces on our list. I always knew him to be a funny and kind person as well Cheeks and was sad to hear of his passing. I had his son on my friend list for awhile and I believe his wife as well. I wish them all the best in this difficult time. I know what it feels like having lost a sister and my father, both at an early age. I will pray that they find solace in each other and that the Lord will help them find peace.
Also wanted to say that the article is well done. I think it is an important reminder of just how much the people we meet in Home can touch our lives, and that they are indeed real people, not a bunch of colored pixels.
Very nice Cheeky. Gar was truly my best friend on Home and he will always be a part of me. I will always miss him and Home will never be the same without him.
It’s tough saying goodbye to the ones you love. May those left behind find peace. Nice article Cheeky.
I didn’t know Garfield but I truly admire what you guys have done for him … both the memorial in Home and the very nice article. RIP Garfield-50, and kudos to you Cheeky
This article is a great reminder that HOME isn’t just about avatars.I have been to alot of HOME weddings but never to a memorial.Nice job Cheeky writing about something not covered before
If anyone ever wondered if Home friends are like real friends, right here is there answer.
What a great article! I am so sad about how it came about, but this was another in the many gifts he left behind.
I didn’t know Garfield-50 either, but I have been effected by the ripples he left in the pond. And the ripples will continue. Thanks for this one!
I’m sorry to hear about your loss. The death dynamic in virtual societies isn’t as cut a dry as it is in real life. You’re fortunate that you were able to know, for certain, that your friend has passed so you could grieve properly. Many times friends just disappear. Never to be heard from again.
Garfield-50 was fortunate to have made such friends. The fact that he will be missed by so many says quite a lot about his character.
My sympathies on the loss of your friend.
While I did not know Garfield I have been on the internet for years and I too have lost friends.
The internet in it’s many forms is real life, even the make believe part.
Just wanna say you might want to correct the 2nd picture where it says Disney Nut. I am DisneyNut but thats not me. Its possible that it could be Disneyland Nut or another Disney Nut. I’ve had a few people tell me they seen me on here and came to check it out but that def. not me.