Socializing – The Art of Virtual Interaction
by Olivia_Allin, HSM guest contributor
Have you ever traveled to a different country?
If you have, then you know how sometimes even the most simple of tasks – like asking for directions or placing your order in a restaurant – can be a challenge. Even if there isn’t a language barrier, often there are subtle differences in the culture that, if go unnoticed, can cause unintentional offence.
We all know that there is a vast learning curve when you first venture into Home. I – like so many of you reading this – was overwhelmed by what I didn’t know about interacting in a virtual world when I first started that I hardly knew where to start. And I’ve found I wasn’t alone. In light of this shared experience, HSM has posted a FAQ in its forum that covers a lot of what you need to know (you can find it here).
It is a very valuable resource that tries to answer many of the questions a new Home user could have; covering the things that just aren’t covered in the rules. I am hoping that this will only add to that. I am not an expert and I am not saying that this info is the only way to do this. These are just some things I impart when asked about the social side of Home’s workings.
Suggestion # 1 – Have fun!
The wonderful freedoms of Home are numerous. But in my opinion, the one freedom that stands high above the rest is the power button. Life is full of stress. And while Home is a life in itself, it allows you much more control over your stress levels. I have platinum trophies in stress. But unlike real life, for the most part you can power down and walk away from most of the stresses of Home. That of course is a vague and over encompassing statement, and sometimes it’s easier said than done. I am too familiar with the fact that it isn’t always that easy. But it is a start; it’s a chance to regroup or calm down. And no, you don’t have to “power down” your PS3. You can go some place else or private. You can start to associate with new or different people. Sometimes you find the most fun just by letting go.
Suggestion # 2 – Be creative!
Set yourself apart from the masses. The “How old are you” and “Where are you from” questions do have their place and time, but are more-over used as a means to start a conversation than the phrase, “Wassup!”
"No, in the future strapping buttered toast to a cat's back will not produce infinite power. Wait, what?"
Some people will role play. I once presented myself as a time traveler and challenged people I engaged with to test my knowledge of time travel. I had my trusty iPhone Google app open so I could answer any questions from the past, and I had my imagination app opened in my mind to create answers to questions about the future. And if I ever got stumped, I could always claim that I couldn’t answer because it could cause a paradox or rip in the time continuum. I’m not that versed in the aspects of time travel and didn’t keep up the act too long, but used it as an icebreaker. I am still friends with the folks that I met by doing that.
I am not saying you should copy me. Come up with your own ideas; it’s not that hard. The point is, conversation isn’t a science – where each time you do or say “X” you’ll get “Y” results – it’s an art; so don’t paint by numbers. People like to talk to people who say interesting things and share interesting ideas, and sound moderately intelligent while doing so.
Suggestion # 3 – Dress to impress!
That doesn’t mean dress in your finest clothes – this is Home, not a job interview – but express yourself in your attire. It can be weird, interesting or whatever you see fit and feel good about. Sadly those that wear “default” clothes (the free stuff that was in your wardrobe when you first come into Home) are judged as being “noobs.” I am not saying this is right; I’m saying if you want to get around that stigma, just change your looks to something that show who you are, as opposed to filling virtual space like some CGI extra on the Titanic. Give your character some character.
There is so much to cover than there is space here in this article on the subject, and there are no definite answers to any question about the social side of Home. So I will leave you with a comment I posted on an article here one HSM. I think it expresses how Home affects me socially.
“In real life I am judged by my looks…in Home I am judged by my avatar’s looks. In real life I am judged by my clothes and belongings… in Home I am also judged by my clothes and belongings.
In real life I sometime drift away from friends… that happens in Home as well. In real life people can and do say things with the intent to hurt me…that happens in Home as well.
In real life people lie to me to try and make themselves seem like something they are not… I am sure this has happened to me in Home as well.
I make mistakes in both worlds. I make friends in both worlds. I learn from my experiences in both worlds. I love in both worlds (but I am only “in love” in the real world).
I spend money in both worlds – but Im only in debt in one.
I am in perfect heath in one world but not the other.
In one world I never have a bad hair day.
The line between the “virtual” and “real” world is blurring and fading to me. I spend so much time in the “virtual” world that the real world is starting to become less of the “norm.” Right or wrong, better or worse, health or not.
As I see it right now, and I do reserve the right to change my mind on this, the biggest difference between “virtual” and “real” is physical matter. I can not physically touch a friend on Home. I can’t knee a troll in their micro-crotch. Relationships on Home may ask for a larger trust down-payment, but the risks are just as real. One thing I have noticed: in Home I feel at home. In “real life” I am afraid more because more things can hurt me out here. So is Home my escape from the real world or is the real world pushing me towards Home?”
Who will you meet the next time you’re in Home, and what sort of conversations will you have with them? Will they be interesting? Will you be interesting? Prove it.
June 13th, 2011 by Olivia_Allin | 5 comments
Olivia_Allin is a team writer, photographer, model, curator, graphic artist, researcher and comic relief for HomeStation Magazine; she lives in Texas with her boyfriend, and Home is more than just a game to her. Years ago she discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. On weekends, to let off steam, she participate in full-contact origami. She saw a Bigfoot once, made a sound you never want to hear twice, and was so proud of her Special Olympics gold medal that she had it bronzed. She is, in her own words, adorkable.
Great article Olivia. There are many people who are new at not only Home but at developing relationships with total strangers. Many people have friends in their real lives who they met through others or through family, but still lack the social skills to reach out and find new friends on their own. I think some of your ideas are good ice breakers and I totally agree that new people need a helping hand with Home as it can be a bit overwhelming with not only social but the technical stuff to learn as well. I am still learning new tech stuff after being here for 18 months or more. Good job.
Lol everyone knows the buttered toast on a cats back is an anti-gravity device and not an infinite power machine right?Check out “The 7 greatest inventions Tesla never invented” it says so right there and you can always trust everything you see on the interwebs right?lol.
Having fun and being creative definitely makes for a better Home experience. Great advice!
As with Homelings, Rule #1 IS to have fun. After all… if you’re not having fun, why are you there?
Oh, and by the way -- Nos never has a bad hair day in Home, either
I love the role play as time traveler idea. That must have been fun! Like an in-Home John Titor…hope I run into you while youre in that guise :>
Every once in a long while in Home, I’ll don my older wise man avatar and walk around the CP praising the merits of Quackzacoatl, the Mallard God. While the bemused onlooker can be very amusing, I’ve been pleasantly suprised at the amount of people who were willing to play along.
Perhaps, if i can find enough people, we can have the first religion indigenous to Home. Hmmmmmmm…couldn’t be any worse than the bomb worshippers from one of the old Planet of the Apes movies.
Or any worse than many other religions,as a matter of fact it would probably be a better religiion than most as it would have the advantage of not being started by a total lunatic as many religions were started by.Just be sure to keep the 10% tithe of some religions to cover”operating” costs,lol.