A Vicious Game
By Keara22HI, HSM team writer
I posted this topic in the Forum one day when I was terribly upset by a scene I had witnessed in Central Plaza.
Wow, what a mistake!
First, it was a mistake because I will still shaking when I started writing. Rule number 1: report the news but do NOT get emotionally involved.
Second mistake: I was not clear about what had been so upsetting. Rule number 2: First paragraph, give a clear outline of the problem and where the article plans to go with it.
And, third mistake: the less people understood what I was talking about, the more frustrated and verbally abusive my responses became. Rule number 3: If you can’t take the heat, don’t invite comments.
So, because I think this is a critical issue in Home, I will try again, quietly, reflectively, and wearing bullet-proof armor. And, once again, I invite your comments at the end of this article and I promise to honor your opinions.
THE VICIOUS GAME: It is a game played within Home by people who deliberately cause a nasty scene in a public space in Home for their own gratification. This is the problem.
WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN: Do some people look for opportunities to start fights? YES. Apparently there is a wide range of motivations. As I identify each type of ‘game’, I will attempt to outline the rationale behind it.
RESULTANT PROBLEMS:
- Bullying: as recent events have shown, seeking out someone to bully, just for your own sport, can have devastating consequences whether in Home or in Real Life
- Bystander fallout: the shock waves that reverberate from, say, a gang battle in SingStar affect everyone in that space. For many of us, just witnessing such overt hostility can be traumatic.
- Ruining Home experience for others: Some people give up on Home and go elsewhere rather than feel like they have to be on guard constantly against attacks.
- Blocking and Reporting: yes, you can tune it out. But how many times each hour on a bad day? We shouldn’t have to be threatening and then blocking over and over again just to spend a little time in Central Plaza, as an example.
- Avoidance of specific public areas: we have all heard the rumors about what goes on in some of the public areas like Motorstorm where unpleasant scenes of gay bashing were prevalent.
MOST PREVALENT VICIOUS GAMES:
- Gang attacks on other gangs
- Newb/default taunting
- Sexual harassment
- Territorial
- Revenge against harassers
Gang Attacks – also known as, “What on Earth are they thinking?” There are no brothels in Home. No banks to rob. No dope to sell. No illegal gambling. No weapons that actually can harm someone else. No ‘moves’ to use to simulate fighting except for some obsolete dance moves that just look ridiculous when used to symbolize hitting and kicking. So what are all the fights about? Someone in one gang ‘disrespected’ a member of another gang? And for that a 15-minute shouting match takes place in the SingStar disco? Grow up, little kiddies. You are not real ‘gangstas’. And real respect is earned by a person’s character, accomplishments, integrity, and intelligence – not by what color rag they chose to wear.
Are the rest of us supposed to be impressed that you can behave so badly in public and get away with it? Is this your way of acting out without your parents grounding you for making trouble at school? Is this how you make yourself feel like a ‘big man’ by pumping yourself up with a false sense of self-importance? Is the only way you can have any friends in Home is by toadying to some self-proclaimed little “don”?
Newb/default taunting: You can overhear the in CP plotting: “Let’s find someone we can bully until they either start crying or run away.” The usual site for this is Central Plaza. The usual prey is someone new to Home. The new person is often easy to identify because they are still wearing the free ‘default’ clothes that were available in the wardrobe when they created their avatar. And they are easy prey because they are usually alone.
What do the persecutors looks for? The usual prejudices that they cannot express in real life because they are no longer ‘politically correct’ are still out in the open in Home. And because the natural tendency of a newcomer to Home is to create an avatar that looks like themselves in real life, it is easy to spot racial minorities, elderly, and overweight ‘newbs’. Not as easy to determine if someone is a homosexual, so the word ‘gay’ is used indiscriminately by the haters.
Some of the haters are so open about their activities that they are often overheard saying things like, “I’m bored – let’s go find someone to beat up.” So, the way to relieve boredom is to hunt down and attack someone who has done absolutely nothing to deserve their wrath. Just being alive and in Home is sufficient to being mugged verbally.
The worst part of this scenario is that the bystanders who overhear what is happening usually just look away and pretend nothing is happening – sort of like the playground monitors in a middle school who say, “What bullies? I didn’t see anything!”
Sexual Harassment: For some people in Home, this is a sport. “How long will it take to get her angry enough that she will do something we can report her for?” The perpetrator KNOWS that approaching a female avatar and immediately suggesting a private eye cam session or worse will bring a rebuff. The guy who walks up to a female, kneels down and sticks his face in her crotch, KNOWS that she is going to be furious. These are attacks. This is deliberate sexual harassment and the boys who do this are doing it to cause a nasty scene; the vicious game of provoking another human being to the breaking point if possible.
Another act of aggression is the PM message to any female he wants to torment – sending lewd suggestions and obscene comments.
A prevalent theory is that the offenders are teen-age males who have been ignored and rebuffed by girls their own age in school, They cannot get away with such harassment in real life, so they come in Home to take out their rage on females – all females. It doesn’t matter if the female is dressed conservatively, obviously older than them, and doing nothing that could possibly be construed as justification for such total disrespect.
The irony is that some of the females are not female. There are many men in Home who enjoy dressing up their female avatar and role playing for a great variety of reasons. One of my cross-dressing buddies commented to a crotch-sniffer who was kneeling in front of him “While you are there, would you mind scratching my equipment? I have a bad case of jock itch today.” The instant reaction of shock and disgust followed by numerous text bubbles full of asterisks had all of us laughing hysterically.
For most women, however, it is upsetting and annoying to have to face this sort of harassment on a daily basis. And to those in the vicinity, the scenes that ensue can be very disturbing.
Territorial: “Hey, you are sitting on my bar stool. Get outta here.” “That is MY rock – get off” “Get away from MY girl friend”. Totally irrational – there is no private ownership of space in public rooms in Home. But, it is an act of aggression aimed at starting a fight.
Why do it? Boredom? Showing off for friends hovering in the background? Just a mean streak coming out with an open act of aggression?
The common denominator is that the person who is attacked is usually taken by surprise: “What are you talking about? You can’t reserve a rock!” At this point, the attacker escalates into the threatening gestures, dance moves such as Running Man to simulate a physical attack, and the most aggressive threat he can think of.
To a newcomer to Home, this is a real shock: “What did I do? Why are you acting like this?” And then, the choice is turn and run – or try to defend yourself from the barrage of profanity and insults that follow. Once again, like the burghers of Berlin who watched the Jews being loaded in the rail cars and sent to the concentration camps without questioning the morality of what was happening, the onlookers in Hone will usually sit and watch as and innocent person is subjected to unspeakable cruelty. Perhaps the more sensitive in the audience will be upset and leave. And, in rare instances, some brave soul might try to intervene. But in Home, the players of the Vicious Game know they can usually get away with the vilest of attacks. There’s just no visible police presence to deter it.
Revenge Against Harassers: As for this next category of people in Home who deliberately provoke fights, these ladies often get my sympathy, rather like that Farrah Fawcett movie, “The Burning Bed”. There comes a time when you get tired of being the victim and decide to fight back. To the female who is sick of being stalked, harassed, PM’d, and hounded by incessant ‘sup’s, the temptation is there to get even.
So, instead of trying to avoid confrontation, she feeds the anger, puts on her most provocative outfit, heads to a public area like the Mall or Central Plaza wearing an outfit that is designed to be worn only at a beach, swimming pool, or backyard hammock. Add a few ‘poses’, maybe a few dance moves like the Body Pop, and before long, here they come. The silly little boys who still believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and the idea that these pixels are a real teenage girl. They are so naïve and young that they think a girl who actually looks like this would be in here, alone, on a Saturday night, looking for the man of her dreams to be her online boyfriend.
She is just waiting for someone to ‘suggest’ something inappropriate and then she cuts loose: berating, insulting, and shouting her hatred for all to see.
Maybe venting all that anger feels good. Perhaps the silly little boys learn a lesson. And maybe the feminists who believe that a woman should be able to dress and act as provocatively as she likes and men should not react like …men…approve of what is happening. Whatever – the people who are in the vicinity of this ugly scene are also the victims.
When the atmosphere in Home is vibrating with negative energy, people shouting in CAPITAL letters, making angry gestures, and spewing hatred, it is no longer Home.
Can this problem be resolved? I really don’t know. I don’t think any amount of Moderators patrolling, TOS rules enforcements, bannings, and warnings would make people learn to behave with courtesy and kindness in Home. The anonymity of the avatar and the lack of serious repercussions for bad behavior means it is up to the rest of us to apply peer pressure to put a stop to this problem. For two years, the community has been asking for enhanced blocking features. Nothing.
Would you be willing to step in and help someone who was obviously in trouble? In the bikini picture above, a female bystander did rush over to caution the boys that they could be reported and to advise the provocateur that she should know better! I was amazed to see how she defused the situation very quickly. And, in the sexual harassment picture, the other two young men stepped in to threaten the ‘squatter’ that they would take action if he did not stop tormenting her immediately. In the beach rock picture, the guy in the yellow board shorts in the background did his best to drive off the two attackers.
So there is hope – there are good samaritans in Home who do try to help alleviate these situations.
My question to you is, will you step up? The more of us refuse to be innocent bystanders who allow others to ruin Home for us, the less these situations will occur. So, now – what is your intent?
(Editor’s note: HSM does not condone vigilanteism or any behavior which is in violation of the EULA. However, it is blatantly obvious to anyone who spends even a few minutes in Home that there’s a lot of ugly social behavior going on, with relatively little deterrence. No one deserves to sign out of Home feeling like Kitty Genovese.)
January 9th, 2011 by keara22hi | 20 comments
Keara is also known in Home as DarthGranny. She is a wicked little old lady with a wild sense of humor.
Sometimes answering politely in a way that shows you simply did not understand what the person said will cause them to walk away.
Answering in a language other than English (or whatever the agressor used) will stop them.
As in Real Life, having a goal and moving towards it makes it less likely you’ll be a victim.
As in Real Life, there’s no perfect solution. Some are sick, some just don’t know better, some think it’s the way to get the respect of others.
It might help if people were better informed about *how* to report, block, an offender…and that they can report something they witness. It doesn’t have to be directed to them.
One problem is reporting non-verbal offensive behaviors, since there is no chat log evidence.
“One problem is reporting non-verbal offensive behaviors, since there is no chat log evidence”.
As you can see, I was able to catch the non-verbal offensive behaviors with the built-in Home camera. We cannot publish the names of the offenders due to the TOS. But I have had no difficulty posting pictures of those miscreants -- and I tell them that is what I am going to do. If the attack immediately ceases, I do not take the picture. But, I am seriously considering putting a Rogue’s Gallery in this magazine’s Forum section where anyone who is attacked and takes a picture can post it. That way, we will know who to avoid. And, if the Moderators who read this ARE interested in cleaning up Home, we can, privately, give them the names that go with the pictures.
Unless I am mistaken and I do not think I am, when sending in a report a picture or even video is sent in also in the report.
It’s more than the chat log that SONY has to work with.
i agree with your article, whole heartedly. i am one of those women that is always keeping an eye out for assaults. i dont mean thats all i do, but i keep an eye out for it. whether its a woman or even a guy getting picked on, i will stand off to one side and warn them. yes, i have gotten a bit hot headed towards some, but nine times out of ten, the guy is the one running away and crying. im not pleasent when i get going. WOO HOO!!! lil mouse
I agree that the situations which you have outlined occur far to frequently in our ‘lil home away from home. The frustration you have with this problem is obvious…and I’m sure you realize it is shared by a great many people who have seen and suffered the same as you. It would seem, as you briefly touched on, Home does not have the resources (nor, perhaps, the wherewithal) to combat or punish the more habitual offenders.
As a Homeling, I try to adhere to our code of respect (even for those who would show none to me) as best I can during these situations; needless to say that following this code is quite trying at times…moreso when I see others being victimized by these fools-in-default-clothing (call it my misplaced sense of chivalry).
This does not mean I am defenseless. While I have never gone out of my way to provoke anyone, I always do stand my ground (I don’t block and mute as it smacks of denial to me). Considering the general level of intelligence one is dealing with when confronted by said griefers, it is not overly difficult to make them feel very small, very quickly, without being aggressive or disrespectful in one’s language. More often than not they simply go away…those that do not will usually say enough to get them banned after a report.
Unfortunately, there are many who frequent Home who simply do not have this mechanism. In my opinion, the really shouldn’t have to…Home is supposed to be for R&R, not a field of practice to sharpen one’s wit.
Those who run Home are well aware of the problem…the official forum has been littered with a variety of complaints (and a handful of solutions) on the subject. But their response has been, thusfar, deafening in it’s silence.
A note of caution: While i appreciate the idea of a ‘rogues gallery’ of sorts, I wonder if the idea lends itself too much to vigilantism. Although I believe that such a section would be started with the best of intentions, those same intentions often become the building blocks to a proverbial Hades. Slippery slopes are hard to crawl back out of.
All this, of course, begs the question: why are we having to deal with this garbage in the first place? The answer covers far to much psychological and sociological ground to touch one here, but it is a question which we should bear in mind when discussing this problem.
Thank you for the article, Keara.
The “why” is simple, thousands of people are on at a time. The problem ones are usually people who still get a laugh out of typing the names of body parts.
I usually find if you turn around the accusation on them they fold and go away. Many times running.
Other good things to do are:
-- Type “afk” and sit still for 20 seconds
-- Women type “I’m really a guy. Is that okay with you?”, then “You were picking me up, weren’t you?”
-- Men type “How long you had a thing for men?”, then “I’m not really into men, but for you I will make an exception.”
People always tell me that I dress gay. My response is “You are not impressing any women wearing that dirty default t-shirt, so you must be picking me up.”
Confidence has ruled the day for me. So far, no stalkers. Just as they can gain confidence from anonimity, so can you. They absolutely cannot hurt you. So fire back words that they are not ready for. Likely they will run.
It is annoying. It is high school all over again. But now is your chance to learn to beat them. Take every situation as an opportunity to practice cracking their will. It is a fun game. A little too easy, but fun.
Those situations do happen too much on home. Home is an online community but it is missing something, i think a home security or police force would make a difference, not a club or a family oriented one, but an appointed one. Not just a few kids who want to be in a position of power, I mean a full fledged force of mature, intelligent and responsible people who want to see Home the way it should be, not a few kids who want the position of power, and not just (monitoring) but policing.
Sony has the technology to do this, even if they had to screen people to an extent to make sure they are who they say they are. Being a parent and seeing all that sort of thing on home is scary but at the same time u feel upset bec Sony DOES have the ability to do something about it.
It’s not a perfect soution but I think it would be a start
An interesting idea, maximusorillius. My guess — and it’s strictly a guess — as to why Sony doesn’t have a *visible* moderation force is likely somehow tied to liability exposure. Hence why profanity results in so many suspensions, because it’s easy to prove.
To me, the easiest solution would be to implement enhanced blocking features that are user-controlled (features which couldn’t be abused or strain the system). Empowering the user alleviates the burden on the moderation team and discourages the trolls, because they know they won’t get anywhere.
It does surprise me, frankly, that after two years of open beta, this issue still hasn’t been solved. And lord knows it’s a big one.
I think you hit every nail on the head Keara. I agree that we all need to say something to these ppl and I have on several occasions. Sometimes this helped and sometimes it just had the effect of the attention from the attacker being focused to me. In life I learned one thing from working in bars, if you ignore them they will go away because they aren’t getting what they want, a response. This works if you are the one being attacked, but not if it is someone else.If I ever witness a scene of real harassment I will step in, I have no problem with that at all. And as for what Norse said, I also agree. Sony has basically ignored this problem. Perhaps once the HCV really gets going and there are guides in all of the public areas, they can mitigate these issues a bit as they can report and the mods will really take notice of what they say.
Yeah. When you hit select then click on submit report, the program freezes for a second. It’s at that point that a screen shot is being captured and that along with the text log is sent in after the report is filed.
That is really good to know! I had no idea a picture was automatically taken.
Indeed. Being a Homeling of well over 2 years has made witness to the barrel bottom of abusers.
These are the types of users with limited Home life spans. They will always be the victims of their own demise -- whether it be due to bans or just plain utter defeat. The only true constant with this type of user is that there is no end to their existence… and their individual failures within Home itself.
Homelings are quite adept at dealing with abuse, but many respectful Home users are overwhelmed by the sheer offensiveness of some individuals and have little at their disposal for immediate relief… in fact, there is none.
How the article suggests to have someone attempt to ‘stop’ or ‘prevent’ some sort of abuse does not work 9 times out of 10. So unless whoever you’re protecting likes that sort of thing and sheds a tear for how grateful they are to you (Followed by lots of victim crying)- All it does is add more to the drama. Heroism gets you nowhere except a potentially larger crowd bothering you.
Most people who fight against the attackers are just as horrible themselves. On top of that it’s noisy to listen/look at the bickering.
There is no win. You ignore it, learn how to deal with it, report it and hope it doesn’t fall on deaf ears, or leave.
It sounds pessimistic. That is how it is set up to be. There is no charge to play home and aside optional mini-games there is no level of intelligence requirement. Unless you fix the population or come up with some ability to.. possibly ban everyone from your site when playing? Just isn’t going to happen.
I know how you feel, Inariya. After awhile there is a tendency to become so inured to the attacks, that they are easier to shrug off and walk away. However, in each picture you can see that ‘good Samaritans’ did spring to my rescue immediately and I was glad they did because it let me know I was not alone.
It was also interesting that, in each instance, the harasser was playing to the crowd, showing off how he could intimidate a victim for fun, get her to run away, or get her to fight back so SHE could be reported. I have had several friends get banned for profanity for fighting back!
The person who tried to help did so without being asked. And, usually was effective in getting the harasser to leave. As one of them pointed out, “there are 3 of us who will report you, not just one, and the Mods WILL take action”. Then he told me, “the more people reporting the same perv at the same time for the same TOS violation, the more likely they will be banned.” and the perv in question navigated away immediately.
I try and rally those around me when I am attacked.I urge others to join me in the reporting of someone but not to do more than one report each. I also ask that no one stoop to the trolls level or the terrorist wins. Then I ask then to block and ignore and “don’t feed the trolls”. Often I think it someone that is experimenting with the power of anonymity, trying out traits that they can’t in real life because they can’t back them up or they are afraid of the consequences — but there are still consequences for anything we do. I don’t think there is a perfect way to fix this and with every attempt there is always a new way around it. So I don’t suggest that I know the answer. All I can say is please don’t let anyone provoke you into fighting back at there level. My Granpa always told me; “behave in a way that, when someone would speak unkindly of you, will cause them shame. And, if you believe in something strongly enough to stand up for it, do it in a stand-up way.” Simple dignities which I hope we remember to extend to each other on Home.
Another good defense my friend and I use is to just start typing our own non sense language and laughing with the often seen “jajaja”. After a while they get frustrated that they can’t get a rise out of you and move on. Its also kind of fun to make this new language. And one other way I found is to go to create a club. You disappear till you back out. That sometimes makes them think you have poofed and they move on to their next victim. There will always be trolls, but like zombies, don’t let them bite and infect you…lol
WOW Kearea loved the article it was just ryte on,,i hope to read all your reports
congradulation on this one really great news ,I will keep my eyes n ears open much wider ,,great suggestions to ,,F ams are so ridikulouse il never get it ,but everyday im asked to join one ,,they never really hav much of an answer ,fams just seem ridiculous ,i feel exactly the same way ,,And this magazine about home is the best ive seen ever wen is it monthly or weekly ,cause ill subscribe ,been lookin for something like this for3 years ,,keep up the great work ,just awsome ,il spread the word ,your friend ,rockstarvixen (^_-))
Thank you, rockstar! New stuff goes up on the website almost daily so keep checking back.
In one of my first few trips into Home, I was very open with people (as I am in real life) and began talking to someone about becoming a father and how I felt about it. They too, were in the same situation and about my age, so we were enjoying the conversation (I might add, this was in the bowling ally space). Suddenly, someone I’d never seen beore proclaimed they “hope my baby was born dead”, to which I was shocked and instantly very angry. However, I don’t mind saying I’m quick with my wit and have experienced much worse in reality. As a result I used my own words to cut this guy down a few pegs very quikly, also, as people around me became aware of the situation, I gathered a fairly large group of equally disgusted (and angry) people. After he saw how many people he had inadvertantly ruffled the wrong way, he appologuised and tried to use the excuse he “thought I was someone else”.
In my opinion there are lots of good people on Home, but there are always going to be wan*ers in life! Just stay strong, and belive in people’s empathy. You will find it. Great read, and well done for writing it.
Ive found it most beneficial 2 man up and give trolls a taste of their own mediciene.This has worked 90%of the time as most”trolls”r of limited intellect and r just screaming “look at me i want attention”.I believe the other 10% r ppl looking 4 ppl 2 match wits with and after 10 or 15 min. of forceful debate about their actions they send a friend request,ive met 2 very good friends this way after they”saw the light”and realized theres a better way 2 make friends,they have now renounced their”troll”behavior and r respectable members of home.Idk about any1 else,but i would view home becoming a “police state”just because a few ppl cant act socially responsible as a tragedy,1 thing i like about home is the relative freedoms allowed in a world owned by a corporation.
Btw keara brought up the burghers of berlin who watched the jews b lead 2 the concentration camps and did nothing.Id just like 2 point out that it was the “police state”that was doing the leading/pushing of the jews.I fear a heavily regulated home would b a serious injury 2 user created content,but i agree with the idea of a much better blocking feature 4 users 2 use.This would solve this problem and it would let users feel empowered.