Prejudice in Home
By Keara22HI, HSM staff writer
How do people behave when they’re conveniently and safely anonymous?
How would you behave?
In an ideal world, appearance would not matter. Color, age, size, racial characteristics, gender, and sexual preferences would be invisible. The only thing that would matter is what the person had inside himself – integrity, intelligence, and a sense of humor. You would be accepted on the basis of your conversational skills – or lack thereof.
And you had the opportunity, when you created your avatar, to alter your appearance and improve on what mother gave you. Did you make the chin a little stronger? Add some inches to your height? Delete some inches from the waist? Or, did you go for a complete makeover? After hundreds of interviews, I was amazed to learn that almost no one in Home changed the racial markers (skin color, facial features, hair) that identify them in real life – even those who admitted that they have been the victim of racial prejudice at least once in their lives.
The other amazing social phenomenon taking place within Home is that some prejudices, in a digital world, are presently considered more socially acceptable by the community at large, while others are politically incorrect. Let a group of skinheads surround a black person in Home, shouting racial slurs and shaking their fists, and the onlookers will often come to the defense of the person being persecuted. But let that same gang taunt a gray-haired avatar for being “an old hag,” and others will just walk away. And if the avatar is overweight, not only can they be openly harassed as “fat and ugly” — some onlookers will even join the rout.
To explore this topic in depth, I used my own avatars in a variety of settings and disguises to attract abusive behavior. In each instance, I changed the appearance of the avatar and then went to a public area in Home where I assumed a passive stance.
In no instance did I make the first move of any kind. No invasion of space, no passing comments, no threatening gestures of any kind. Just being there was enough to bring the haters out for an attack.
OLD AGE:
Some of the younger members of Home treat old age like a contagious disease. All it takes is gray hair and a few wrinkles to bring out the attacks.
In this instance, you can see that my female avatar is slim, physically fit, and reasonably attractive. She was sitting quietly on this rock at the edge of the beach when these two young men approached and started shouting.
“Go away, you old hag!”
“Why don’t you just die now?”
“You don’t belong here – get out of Home and go die.”
One young man (yellow bathing suit in the background) tried to reason with them and get them to leave me alone, but most of the others just watched the entire incident without comment, and the one in the animal costume congratulated the two toughs on how they “owned that old byotch” and “give granny hell.” “run her off the beach.” “kick her.” “f**t in her face” and other encouragements.
Apparently, some of the children and teens in Home assume that gaming was invented within the past few years and it is their domain – adults are not welcome.
I wonder how they would feel if their own mother or grandmother was treated in such a way if she came into Home.
RACE:
I quickly discovered, when dressed in my young black male avatar, that racial attacks are done in groups in Home, singling out the lone target for persecution. I first observed such an attack in the Mall when a group dressed in what appeared to be aluminum foil from head to toe surrounded a young black male and started taunting him. The attackers used programmed dance moves to simulate kicking and hitting the victim while shouting racial slogans too terrible to print in this magazine. Eventually, they had backed him against the upstairs railing and he had no choice but to navigate out of the Mall to escape.
I then interviewed numerous persons of color from a wide cross section of cultures to see if they had had similar experiences. Most of them said they had learned to cope in real life so such actions in Home have little or no affect on them. Their passive resignation still does not make such negative behavior acceptable, however.
I decided to test out the theory on my own. I created a young black male who was well dressed and non-threatening in appearance. (see picture below). I walked into the lower level at the Godfather public space. And, in less than two minutes, a pair of young thugs surrounded me, shouting “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!”
I tried to reason with them, “I am not here to fight anyone. If you want me to leave, just say so,” but that did not stop their determination to beat up on me. Finally, when I refused to fight back, they turned in disgust and walked away while outlining exactly what they thought of people of my appearance. Again, the overt racism is not fit to quote in here.
WEIGHT:
For this prejudice, it doesn’t matter if the target is male or female, any race, any age: if your avatar appears overweight, many occupants of Home will feel it is their duty to walk up to you and tell you; “You are FAT and ugly,” “U FAT f**k, u shud die,” and similar threats and insults.
This is perplexing to me – a person who is overweight in real life has usually experimented with some kind of diet and/or exercise regimen in an effort to improve their health and appearance. So, why would they voluntarily create an avatar with a weight problem? Why not Photoshop off the extra 50 pounds? Is it possible that they want to torture themselves over their real life appearance? Or that they have reached an attitude of, “To hell with all of them – if they can’t accept me as I am, warts and all, then I don’t need to know them!”
Ironically, when interviewing avatars of ample girth, I discovered some are not overweight in real life! They have altered their appearance in Home to discourage the incessant sexual harassment that takes place in the public areas of Home.
Once again, I put my avatar into a public place (Central Plaza) and waited for the inevitable attack. I stood there passively, admiring the water fountain, until this young man approached me and began the usual litany of insults. His wish for my impending death was hampered by his lack of spelling skills. Apparently, he had dropped out of school long before the English grammar classes – and had dropped head first.
HOMOPHOBES:
It was interesting to see how huge an insult it is to be called “gay” in Home. I have witnessed many nasty altercations that either start with “yur gay” or end with “u r gay”. That is one prejudice I had never been exposed to before. I will admit to being content, happy most of the time, occasionally even blissful, but never gay. So it took a while for me to discover that the attacker is accusing the victim of being a homosexual.
The term seems to be used indiscriminately. One young man at SingStar, cross-dressing as a girl, became belligerent over being called ‘gay’ by another young man who repelled ‘her’ advances. When he/she could not get any response from him, he/she turned on me, the passive bystander, to vent his/her rage. Once again, I was being attacked with dance moves that simulate other actions (see picture below). 
As you can see, I am standing quietly, not attempting to defend myself, while the attack took place. The frustration and anger that had built to a boil in that young man was frightening to behold.
The inaccurate assumption made in Home is that, any male who chooses to create a female avatar must be a homosexual on the prowl. Here is a picture of an avatar created by a straight guy, not because he wanted to attract other men, but because he wanted to make some ‘eye candy’ for himself to play with.
REVERSE DISCRIMINATION:
I also met some brave souls who take a perverse delight in inviting attacks from the little cretins. This chap on the beach is only 27 years old, and yet he deliberately created an avatar who looks elderly, overweight, and (if the pink boots and shaved legs are any clue) also a homosexual. And here he stands, passively waiting for the inevitable verbal and physical attacks that have become commonplace in Home.
Bravo, sir! I admire your resolve but I lack your courage. I am scrambling back to the refuge of my socially-acceptable avatar and staying there!
The decision is up to you. Go for the real life appearance – and dare anyone to comment on your physical imperfections, racial characteristics, or other focal points for attack. Or, back to the drawing board to create the next Chace Crawford and Britney Spears clones.
Keara22HI is a retired septuagenarian college professor and extensively published nonfiction author. In addition to being a rabid RPG fan, she can often be found in Home, particularly at Sully’s Bar, the Nepalese Village, or Seaside of Memories. She lives in Hawaii.
November 24th, 2010 by keara22hi | 16 comments
Keara is also known in Home as DarthGranny. She is a wicked little old lady with a wild sense of humor.
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Sad but true, best article i read about Home so far. Keep up the good work!
I agree. I have seen this on both my fiance’s account and my own. Since she’s new to Home, I usually sit next to her and explain the attacker’s actions and how she can avoid them. Very nice article.
Very, very, true. I step up and try to help those people getting attacked anytime I see it. Sad thing is, sometimes the attacks turn on me and the person I was helping even joins in (how ironic is that?). I get called gay, shemale, transexual, bi, etc. You name it I got called it while living my female world of Home. No one ever defends me, all just look even as I try to reason with them. Some join in. The only time I get help is when my friends are online. It’s not the words that upset me, it’s that fact people can be so irgorant and closed minded. Also you raise the question how would some of these people act in real life? Would they do this? Some, yes (watch homeless people getting beat up by teens, or gays assulted, blacks assulted, etc). Some use this game (and others) to say what they always think but have to keep kept hidden from public. Which is pure cowardarly. Bottem line, people need to treat others with respect both, on and offline.
Agreed.
Interesting observations, Keara. But your investigations beg the question: where does such behavior stem from?
While I have no doubt as to the certainty that there are a percentage of home users who have allowed petty bigotry to become part of their general nature (both in and out of Home), I have some suspicions that may not be the case with every encounter of pixilated prejudice.
There are some who go around Home with the sole intent of causing some sort of disturbance. This is, apparently, their idea of “fun”.
Case in point: while in CP not too long ago, I saw someone dressed up in a sombrero (from RDR, if I’m not mistaken), milling about the space. He would let loose with a venomous diatribe against some ethnic group or another; in between each tirade he would mutter, “Just spreading my Hate”. While the person may indeed have been a hate-fueled dullard in real life, my gut was telling me that he was doing it just to get a rise out of people. And he succeeded to an extent, as those around him (including me, at first) reacted negatively to what he was saying.
Then there are some who simply don’t know any better. I was approached once by a fellow who started up a conversation with, “I am going to molest you”, followed up a moment later by, “jk”. After letting him know that this was an inappropriate way to say ‘hi’, he claimed he was “only kidding” and that “I shouldn’t take him seriously.”
Having teenage children, I can attest that there is indeed a current social phenomenon which allows for one to say something completely inane (or even downright rude) followed up with “jk” or “only joking” as if that makes what one said acceptable. Perhaps some of this foolishness we see in Home is an extension of such, with the ‘jk’ implied as it is only a virtual world.
You also pointed out in your article that certain forms of prejudice are seemingly allowable while others are quickly condemned. The blame for that, in my opinion, lies firmly at the feet of the TV media.
When we watch the news (or any program, for that matter) we see strong condemnation of apparent acts of racism. On the flip side we also see almost a celebration of a variety of other dehumanizing behavior.
While it is considered out of bounds to portray some racial stereotypes on TV, negative generalities of other human aspects ( weight, age, religion, and so on) are regularly bandied about; very often the exact same stereotypes are used in show after show ad-nauseum. Reality shows are filled with small-minded, selfish, insipid, petty, and vain people who we probably wouldn’t want to share a car-pool with…yet they are cheered on and encouraged as some sort of twisted paragon to be aspired to. Aspirations, in my opinion, which some in Home have apparently taken to heart.
Some of the negative behavior can be ode to ‘group think’ (or monkey-see-monkey-do-ism), as some users try to find acceptance in a strange place. Some others may be the school bully in real life…or the victim of such abuse striking back angrily at the world in their own fashion.
Unfortunately, much as in the real world, there is very little that can cure such problems. Perhaps articles like this one, as well as patient Home users, will serve as a tool for education to some who would perpetrate such nonsense with the hope that at least some of this behavior can be stemmed.
Sorry for getting a bit long winded, heh heh, but I found your article and investigations fascinating. I’m looking forward to reading more of your observations in the future.
“Sexual preferences” implies choice, the correct and proper term is “sexual orientation” I’m stunned a college professor is unaware of this distinction.
There are many people who choose to be with the same sex, as well as thoes who feel they are compelled. Both terms are correct and proper. I am stunned that you didn’t know that.
The proper and only correct term is sexual orientation because it covers both individuals that choose and those don’t that. Whereas preference is very specific but it’s not the end of the world. This is HSM not the NY Times.
Interesting point, Stephen, is that, in Home I discovered that most of the cross-dressers I interviewed were experimenting with choices. In some instances, the experimentation had led to some self-discovery about orientation. But for others it was pertinent to a specific situation where, once it was resolved, the experiment was abandoned. Unfortunately, the editor draws the line at my tendency to get too technical and far too verbose -- so you get the truncated version in the magazine. But, take my word for it, the research was fascinating. Where else except in Home can you see blind, unreasoning hatred spewed forth without fear of repercussion?
On the subject of sexual orientation versus sexual preference: I tend to agree with the Kinsey Scale — that very few people are exclusively heterosexual or exclusively homosexual. From that standpoint, then, the semantics get very gray, indeed. HSM stands behind the writer’s choice of verbiage.
The human-behavior stories in Home are fascinating to me. How people act when they’re conveniently and safely anonymous is a wonderful look underneath the veneer of civilization we abide by in real life.
That’s fine Norse, I simply pointed it out. No one uses sexual preference other than hate groups. The proper term is in fact sexual orientation, which applies to straight, gay and bisexual.
I re-read the article, Stephen. I was not aware that haters use that term as part of their rationale for hating (as if you had a choice!). Most of my real life friends have close friends, family members, or business associates are homosexual or bisexual. Without exception, these friends are accepting and supporting of all people as people. When they say ‘preferences’, it is choices within that orientation. One of my lesbian friends ‘prefers’ lesbians who are very masculine in appearance. While another wants the opposite. But I did not go into a lengthy discussion of this in the article for Home because the ‘haters’ in Home who are so strongly prejudiced against gays don’t differentiate in their hatred. Anyone who is different from their own self-image is to be hated, tormented, and attacked.
I am surprised, Stephen, that you did not point out the real weakness in that article: I did not attempt to disguise myself as ‘gay’ the way I did with the other prejudices (age, color, and weight). I really had no idea how to go about it effectively. All I did was observe and report. It became the motivation for my other article in here -- the one on cross-dressing -- because I discovered that there was a very wide range of preferences and not all of the people accused of being gay were actually homosexuals.
What this magazine needs (and I am not equipped to write it) is an inside view of what it is like to be a homosexual in Home. You seem to be quite articulate, Stephen. Why not contact our editor and discuss it with him? I would love to read what you could contribute on that subject.
For some reason, I can’t reply to you thus am replying to my own comment. I didn’t say haters, I said hate groups as in agencies and organizations that do not support marriage equality, etc. No corporation, media outlet, state or federal agency; uses “sexual preference” because it is the incorrect term. About preferences, those are mate or partner preferences or even what turns someone on or who they are attracted to. That is not what sexual preference means. I appreciate your offer however will decline. I think your editor has already established a biased position with his “stands behind” comment versus trying to ascertain further information about a topic he clearly knows nothing about. I won’t visit this site any longer but do thank you for the dialogue.
Stephen, there’s not much I can do for you except to agree to disagree. For the record, I personally have no issue with homosexuality, marriage equality, and so forth. Think about it: if I did, would this article have even seen the light of day with HSM?
To imply that I have a biased position — or that I’m ignorant of the subject matter — because of the fact that I’m supporting the author’s choice of terminology is, frankly, ludicrous.
Keara’s suggestion to you was an excellent one, and I’m disappointed you didn’t take her up on it. I, for one, would have been very curious to read it.
Best of luck to you. Take care.
So is Stephen’s attitude caused by a personality preference or a personality orientation? Or, perhaps, a personality disorder? I don’t get offended when people accuse me of “preferring” the opposite sex and neither of my gay male friends have ever been offended by me mentioning their “preference”. Preference is preference, regardless if it is a matter of choice. Orientation is supported by preference and vice-versa.
Acting offended by such phrasing does more harm against gay equality than any hate group could possibly do.
Agreed, FilthCrow.
Additionally, I take some umbrage in Stephen’s apparent accusation. I have used both terms interchangeably in conversation and in written articles, yet I am not (or have ever been) part of any so-called ‘hate group’, nor had any associations with any organizations who have any sort of intent to deny equal rights and Constitutional liberties to any one for any reason. Nor am I personally a ‘hater’.
With all due respect, I believe Stephen may have read one too many press releases from the Southern Poverty Law Center or similar groups who receive funding via the creation of boogey men and bad guys.
Again, execelent article…I am very much looking foward to any follow ups you post, Keara.