"People would never fall in love
if they had not heard love talked about."
—La Rochefoucauld.

    Romantic love might be the most pervasive myth of Western culture.
How many people have 'fallen in love'?

    And yet, romance is a cultural invention, not a natural phenomenon.
Have we been so deeply indoctrinated into the romantic mythology
that we fail to notice the process of emotional programming
that created our romantic responses?
Popular culture is the main way we learn how to 'fall in love'.
Movies, television, popular songs, novels, & other forms of mass media
all train our feelings into the wonderful delusion of romance.

    Our romantic games would be harmless if everyone knew
that romantic love is a fantasy feeling.
But while still under the influence of romantic illusions,
some people make the life-altering mistake of getting married.

    Religious indoctrination illustrates emotional programming.
Is 'being saved' the religious equivalent of 'falling in love'?
We are taught what emotions to expect—then we try to produce the desired feelings.

    If romantic love is a hoax, what should we do?
Real information can replace romantic illusions.
We can love on the basis of who we choose to be
rather than trying to reproduce romance as seen on television.

OUTLINE:

I. Romantic Love was Invented 800 Years Ago by the French Troubadours.

II. 'Falling in Love' as Temporary Insanity—A Phenomenology of Romance.

III. Love & Marriage: Fantasy & Facts.

IV. How Did We Learn the Romantic Response?

V. Emotional Programming: Romantic & Religious.

VI. Good-bye to Illusions, Hello to Reality.

DISCUSSION LEADER:

James Park is the author of New Ways of Loving:
How Authenticity Transforms Relationships.
Chapter 1 is called "Romantic Love is a Hoax!
Emotional Programming to 'Fall in Love' ".

TIME AND PLACE:

    This workshop consists of one meeting—two hours.
It can be arranged for any time or place
in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, Minnesota.
Send suggestions to James Park, e-mail: PARKx032@TC.UMN.EDU.

RESOURCES:

    If you would like to read a three-page article exploring romance, go to:
Romantic Love is a Hoax! Emotional Programming to 'Fall in Love' .

    A complete listing of resources critical of romantic illusions:
The Romantic Love Portal .

    A five-week class, which explores loving relationships beyond romantic illusions:
New Ways of Loving:
How Authenticity Transforms Relationships