Are you as freaked out by child beauty pageants as we are? There's just something so purely weird about dressing a little kid up like that and parading them in front of an audience. Shows like Toddlers & Tiaras bring us into this insanely weird world, and we're not enjoying it. The worst thing about beauty pageant culture is the parenting, and moms are the bottom of the barrel. Here are eight video clips of gross pageant moms doing seriously twisted stuff.
The Worst Pageant Moms
It takes a certain kind of dementia to turn your kid into a beauty pageant contestant. A number of TV shows have shared this horrible world with us, and now we're going to sift through the crap to give you the most horrendous pageant moms of all time.
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By K. Thor Jensen March 2, 2012 |
| 4 | Crazy Mom |
And then there's just the generically-crazy pageant moms -- those deluded women who don't see anything wrong with obsessing over their children's looks, stuffing them into absurd outfits and traipsing across the country to show the goods. It's sadly obvious that these women feel like they've wasted their lives, and now they're just living vicariously through their spawn, which is sort of heartbreaking. I bet that if they could Freaky Friday bodyswitch they would.
| 3 | Airbrush Makeup Mom |
One of the scariest things about child beatuy pageants is how young they start the kids. And it's not just a matter of "oh, what a cute baby" - they're tarting these young ones up just as trashily as the older kids. Case in point: the mother of little Brystol, who is just 18 months old. Mommy's not satisfied with her baby's natural beauty, so she tries to get an airbrush makeup job done on her kid. How sick is that? How messed up is that kid's brain going to be once she realizes what's going on?
| 2 | Tooth Bleaching Mom |
Pageant moms do all kinds of crazy things to whip their spawn into posing shape, but this takes the cake. Ohio mother Lori insists that her children have their teeth bleached each and every week. Let's be clear about something: this is not safe for kids. There's nothing that's going to happen to make their teeth discolored in the space of a week, and this is going to cause intense damage to their gums. This woman is one of the worst pageant moms I've ever seen.
| 1 | Face-Smashing Mom |
Let's close with a short and sweet clip that just lays down a little harmless slapstick, shall we? This might open a discussion on what's more damaging: making your kid do beauty pageants or just smashing their defenseless little skulls into a wooden door. I can see persuasive arguments on both sides. I think the real test of how damaging these pageant moms are is going to come a decade or so into the future, when these kids are having babies themselves. If the world doesn't come to an end before then.
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