Vampire Fiction: A Sucker Free Guide to Vampires

Ah, young love.  The first play-date.  The first time you hold hands.  The first time you disembowel a couple and drink their blood in a glass with two straws.  Life is weird sometimes.  Just make sure you Let The Right One In to your heart.

Vam-Powers: Strength, innate understanding of Morse Code, gender ambiguity

Likes: Young boys (uh...), young love (uh...), and keeping young boys in trunks (um...)

Dislikes: Acid to the face, American re-makes

Everyone who ever watched Sesame Street remembers that the only thing more terrifying than a vampire made out of felt was someone trying to teach us math.  Encountering Jim Henson's Count von Count in a dark alley might not seem like the most terrifying of prospects, until you remember that there's someone with a puppet fetish crouching behind the dumpster next to it, and we don't mean Oscar.

Vam-Powers: The ability to decipher what numbers come after each other, as well as quantity

Likes: The color purple, monacles, hands inside him

Dislikes: Numerous children.  The bitter irony.

The love of brooding, beautiful vampires reaches apex with those damn Stephanie Meyer novels, and very little will ever Eclipse the mind of teenage girls again.

Vam-powers: Immortality, strength, paleness, looking like Robert Pattinson

Likes: Kristen Stewart, baseball, vegetarianism

Dislikes: Werewolves, dismemberment, sparkling

Time to put away the stakes, and don't bother putting up the shades.  The Supernatural vampires won't even bother to laugh at you.  Sam and Dean didn't come across too many vampires in their day, but fangs were usually the least of their problems. 

Vam-Powers: All the usual players, immortality, super-strength, super-senses.  Just ONCE we'd like to see a vampire with freeze-breath.

Likes: Playing "gotcha" with the whole needing an invitation to enter thing, crossing franchises (look, it's Harmony!)

Dislikes: Sunlight is managable, but unpleasant.  And don't you dare mention Twilight.