Sexy Sex Robots You Can Have Sex With
Companionship: it is often difficult and costly to obtain. With these sexy sex robots, it's just costly! They're just like prostitutes, except they are nicer, have made better life choices, and only store razor blades in their underwear if you want them to.
 |
By Marissa Meli December 23, 2010 |
| 5 | Project Aiko |
Not only does she sing traditional New Year’s songs and put out, Aiko the gynoid (aheehee) will clean your house without talking back. Ladies, it’s time to step our game up for our mens—magic tricks? figure skating?—or this robobitch will make us obsolete. Aiko can converse at the level of a five year old human, which is perfect as she can understand and follow commands but will be stumped into submission by your logically complex man arguments. She also has sensors in her breasts and mechaginer, and knows the difference between different kinds of touch—she will actually slap you if you get rough. Aiko isn’t quite finished, but creator Le Trung will be happy to accept your donations in order to get this lady on her hands and knees in your kitchenette just as quick as can be. To wax the floors.
| 4 | John Malkovich (Making Mr. Right) |
The DVD of Making Mr. Right is most frequently bought on Amazon with the DVD of Howard the Duck. If that is not enough to convince you of how great this movie is, perhaps you would like to consider the repercussions of creating an astronaut/sex robot that looks exactly like acclaimed actor John Malkovich: unmitigated ecstasy and a heapin helpin of Ann Magnuson. Unfortunately, the Malkovich droid falls to the claimer of many a mechanical sex worker: short circuiting due to water exposure.
| 3 | Moaning Lisa |
What exactly is she smiling about? Now we have a concrete answer: having her seven strategically placed touch sensors fondled with implied consent. Along with potentiometers in her nipples and photosensors in her eyes (she is watching you), Lisa lives up to her name. If left untouched for long enough, Lisa will indiscriminately moan at strange passersby who catch her eye, hoping to attract their grabby grease fingers. You're embarrassing yourself, girlfriend! Like a human woman, you can only please her by correctly guessing and activating sensors in a completely randomized, predetermined sequence that changes as soon as you figure it out.
