June 1, 2010
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Nothing good ever comes out of anything scientists ever open on Mars. Nothing.
Food found in trash cans or on the bodies of murdered gang members is not only safe, but medicinal.
Unfortunately, most heroes are born in towns that only import wooden swords and shields. If only you lived closer to the town under the black cloud circling the giant, spiked castle.
Ancients did a bunch of stuff nobody remembers and locked away some sort of evil that can’t possibly come back unless your nerdy best friend who is a girl but not a love interest pushes a button in plain sight.
Daytime lasts forever in video game towns. But as soon as you go to bed, you’ll have a nighttime conversation with another character.
Wild animals carry important items in the pockets they don’t have.
You can tell things are going wrong with a science-fiction environment when Mode-7 kicks in.
No matter what the setting or the reason, one character in every horror game will scream, “Who could have done this!?” That character will then die.
Silver-lined starship? Doesn’t bother this guy! He’s wearing camouflage and speaking in R. Lee Ermey quotes!