The Worst Video Game Cliches

Only one man in the world understands that all people and objects in the universe are pawns cruelly controlled by greater beings for their entertainment. Which is why he tells those faceless Gods how to manipulate their puppets.

Guns are always weak in games. People shouldn’t even carry them.

Just like in real life.

All horror games will have a stupid opening screen that warns you how completely freaked out you’re going to be.

Though some wear purple and some wear green.

“I’ve been shot in the chest. So I guess it’s time to take a cut scene to let you how I got to this sorry state of affairs. My father was a school teacher, which sounds like a great gig, except it didn’t pay much and the hours were crazy...”

The invaders from space will eventually kill you. The robots will assimilate all the remaining people. The missiles will take command. There’s nothing you can do.

I guess lasers lose their power as they chop worlds in half and shatter landscapes.

You can always break walls and shatter mirrors, but soda machines are immobile tanks. On the plus side, free soda!