Back when I was in school, this Classical Studies prof put it to us that the greatest mayor in human history was Pericles, mayor of Athens during the Peloponnesian War. A master orator, statesman, and diplomat, Pericles shepherded his people through dark times and helped keep them safe from Spartan aggression. When the prof had finished his point though, I promptly raised my hand, stood up, and asked: "But sir, did Pericles ever don single-strap overalls and fight his way through the slums of Athens, piledriving pastel-coiffed punks and bashing cars to pieces with lead pipes?" To which my professor responded with a blank look. I simply continued: "Well, then Pericles isn't the best mayor in human history, sir, because Metro City's Mayor Mike Haggar would totally body slam his wussy ass like a little bitch!" And that was the day I had to tell my parents I'd gotten expelled from college. But, dammit, I went out like a champion.
And speaking of champions, you'll feel like one every moment you're playing Final Fight: Double Impact, Proper Games' port of the Capcom classic. The game stars Mayor Mike Haggar as a former pro-wrestler turned politician who goes on a quest to rescue his daughter from a gang of kidnappers led by a wheelchair-bound bodybuilder in a skyscraper. Yes, it almost sounds too realistic to be taken seriously, but somehow it works as the setup for the ultimate beat-'em-up adventure. Accompanying Haggar in his daughter-saving travails are the daughter's boyfriend, Cody, and a random Japanese dude named Guy whose sole motivation for risking his life fighting wave after wave of vicious thugs is: "She's my friend, too!" God DAMN it, the '80s ruled.
