Bachelor of Science, cum laude (GPA 3.63)

Major: Biology, GPA: 3.81*

GPA is Misleading

Like the "years of experience" as a lab manager is extremely misleading, so is GPA at BSC. You see, a student at BSC can be one of my favorite people in the world, but terrible at Physics (she got 30s and 40s on exams) and fail the course. I.e., it's a tough school. However, that same student can go down the road to UAB over the summer, re-take that physics course, and get an A, which then replaces the mega-F on her transcript. I never did that - not for physics, not even for Organic which we all know comes straight from the devil, himself.

Biology GPA is Especially Misleading

My biology GPA is also a tad misleading, and here's why. The comparative vertebrate anatomy professor (and I think the head of biology) was getting up there in years and our final exam was mostly on the cranial nerves, which are quite tricky. The next semester, I took a course with her that focused solely on cranial nerves and, in preparation for our first exam, I asked that we go over last semester's final, since the material was the same. I "allegedly" got a 74 on that final, and if I was wrong about the material, I wanted to know before I made the same mistakes. But I knew I wasn't wrong. But she was such a nice old lady, how do you tell her she's losing it?

I waited patiently while she looked over the ones I got "wrong," and one-by-one she confirmed I was, in fact, right, and should've gotten a 96 on the test. The B+ I'd been stuck with would've been at least an A-, pushing my biology GPA from a 3.81 to a 3.847, which rounds to 3.85, which I would be within my right to round up to 3.9 since no one would double check it and I deserved it, anyway. *sigh* stupid conscience. Ok, I wouldn't actually round up knowing it required so much rounding to boost to that extra tenth of a point.

Wait! I forgot about organismal biology freshman year - I got a B+. How does a biology genius get a B+ in a freshman-level course, you ask? I'll explain: plants. I can't remember how much I hated learning about plants, but it was a lot. Nor do I remember how much time we actually spent going over plants, but it was not a lot. However, I believe on the lab practical final and the final exam, suddenly plants were a big deal. Ridiculous!! I wouldn't have studied them, anyway, because I study what I want to, and at the time that was physiology and anatomy (given that we'd dissected a fetal pig...). Nevertheless, ridiculous! So yet another B+ that was completely uncalled for.

Oh, and Lastly

I probably shouldn't draw attention to it, but my only C in college was a C+ in Calculus II with the hardest math professor in the school, and it was my first semester, freshman year. Other students are taking Addition 101 and getting an A for their math credit, and I'm in Calc II with juniors getting my toosh handed to me. Yeah, I'm bitter!

Master of Arts, cum laude (GPA 3.60)

For classes I actually wanted to take, GPA: 3.9ish

Biology to Telecommunications? Um, what?

So, you're probably wondering why the change... Well, I'd always been a brilliant writer. In high school, one of my history teachers volunteered me to write an article for the school paper - they put it on the front page. Then I started writing for fun and turns out I'm amazingly funny. Not so much in person, just in writing, sadly...

Writing became a fun little hobby I did in my spare time, then I did freelance stuff, blog posts, whatever. But then in '08 while I was working in the pathology lab at Emory, I got the chance to intern for a morning FM radio show. Didn't take long before I was creating new sections of the website that the show's host and creator called "genius," then he was asking me to write him commentary about the daily news stories, and I was also helping the sports guy write jokes for his daily sports bit. I realized that writing could actually be a career, not just a hobby, which would be pretty sweet.

Problem is, I'd only ever waited tables and worked in labs, so how do I transition into comedy writing? Well, I love being in school, and there are about 8 trillion cute girls at the University of Georgia, so sure, I'll go there for a couple of years! And while the cute girls thing was a joke, I did meet my wife there, and now I'm, like, really well-rounded and stuff.

Web Development Immersive, Full Stack

The Important Takeaway

The only part of the GA experience that matters from your perspective is that I did it because I want desperately to learn how to write code. I can set up a lab with the right tools (cost-effectively, of course) in the right arrangement and do everything in the perfect order timed to the second. But I can't scan 200 tubes and take down sample info, lot #s, verify expirations, validate materials, etc. in the blink of an eye - but a computer and barcode scanner can. You see, I've peaked with manual efficiency. The only way to improve is through code. And man can code do beautiful things... The rest is just me ranting about how disappointed I was in General Assembly. Everything I learned, I essentially taught myself with tutorials online.

I even bought a Mac...

More was covered, if you can call it that, but of what was covered I'm only listing languages and systems that I can actually do something with. I was not impressed with this course. For one, the teacher hurt his back the 2nd week and was out for the next 3 weeks, then a couple of weeks after returning he gave his two weeks notice to take a better job at Home Depot. You see, even though with 26 students (waaaaaay too many) times $13,500 each - for ONE class - there isn't enough money to pay the hard-to-find teachers a decent wage. I know what you're thinking - $350,000 for one 12-week course and they couldn't pay the man? Correct. They also couldn't spend more than $8 on chairs, and just as I warned them, just before the Christmas break my lower back had had enough.

Let me put the pain in perspective; when I was at the dentist getting a cap put on and they were scraping away excess tissue or whatever, the anesthetic wore off and I didn't tell them. Did it hurt? Yeah, but I can take it. And I didn't want to be there an extra 20 minutes while another shot was administered and took effect. So when I say my back was excruciating and I couldn't even sit down, I mean it hurt so bad I went to the bathroom to writhe in pain without anyone seeing because anytime I say my chest hurts people freak out and make me go to the ER.

The place is also wall-to-ceiling-to-wall-floor concrete. Nothing on the walls to absorb echo, just concrete. It was like a dungeon. Dollar Store chairs and a prison ambience with teachers who had no computer science training before taking GA's course, themselves, teaching with old notes from the San Fransisco class' never-updated curriculum.