Dudefest Encore

 

by RadiumEyes, HSM team writer

Sometimes, the most peculiar circumstances remind us of some little historical anecdote we may have read somewhere, or heard from a friend.

Take the recent Dudefest as an example – as I understand, it became quite popular as the “place to be” for young men hoping to exhibit their skills at making an car outfitted with hydraulics jump via remote control, dance in the ever-popular “confused ostrich” style or otherwise epitomize the Dude personality. The few women in attendance were baffled at the various displays of what eventually became termed “Males of Questionable Fashion Sense,” but this can be expected from such a gathering; Dudefest’s advertisements hardly presented anything other than a silly festival centered around male extravagance and the ever-present “bro” community. Which is why Dudefest sponsors are excited to announce an Encore event, to be scheduled in the coming weeks.

Now, I mentioned a historical sidenote, so here it is: during the 1950’s, Blackpool North Pier was a happening place, where the cool kids hung out to catch a movie, take in a pint, or watch an orchestra. Eugenius Birch envisioned the place as a sparkling spot for the “better-class” to rub elbows, and that proud tradition carried on into the mid-20th century. Now, one may not realize it, but the genesis of the American “dude” culture began here, when a wealthy American visitor by the name of Gregory “Well-Heeled” Bogroll-Jones attempted to perform what is now known as a “fist pump” dance near a random female who happened to be nearby, in order to attract her attention. It didn’t exactly work (the woman in question spilled her mojito on him), but he continued his dance, much to the bemusement of spectators. This one event got the ball rolling; when the American man returned home and spoke of his exploits to friends, they began doing similar things at social events.

Berry-wall-king-dudesThe rest, as they say, is history, and now a Dudefest Encore is in the works. I have here a list of scheduled events and guest appearances slated for the event, all promising an exciting time for any “dude” who wishes to participate. Without further ado, here are the tentative events, special items and other assorted things you will find for this premiere gathering.

Drawing upon their experience with the original Dudefest proceedings, so sponsors expanded upon the wardrobe options made available at the initial DudeFest. Lockwood has many excellent offerings for the discerning bro – the Pringle of Scotland-inspired golf jumpers will certainly appeal to those looking for a more British flair, while the new Antwacky fashion promises an antique style for those wishing to emulate older fashions. Meanwhile, VEEMEE updates their styles to include a well-loved line of dude-oriented merchandise – namely, the fashion exhibited by such artists as Van Halen and Def Leppard.

Meanwhile, expect to see a wide array of gold necklaces (some bearing the dudeliest symbol of all, the giant dollar sign, of course), as well as a good assortment of diamond alternatives. If you ever wanted to express your admiration for dude culture on your teeth or hands with expensive jewelry, now is your time; nothing matches the sheer audacity of enough small diamonds and gold to transform you into a walking treasury. A thousand-strong group of grillz-wearers will admire your teeth from afar, as some of the newly-released Lumens line offers various styles that register 3000K lumens. Imagine the possibilities of a brightly-lit mouth.

Now, this all leads us to the main attractions – guest appearances from some of the greatest stars and artists of today and yesteryear. A sentient robotic approximation of Evander Berry Wall, the King of the Dudes, will be on hand to oversee the proceedings; The Dude from The Big Lebowski, Cleopatra Jones and Spider-Man will also make appearances at DudeFest Encore. Spider-Man has a special prize, his iconic Bombastic Bag-Man outfit, to be awarded to the winner of the “Be a Spider-Dude” contest; The Dude himself mainly abides, but he hints towards another prize of a diamond-studded bowling ball to whoever can most accurately recite lines from the film.

183115_383231245126208_750602219_nAs for musicians, look out for such bands as the Major Dudes (who, I assure you, can tell you, my friend), Grandiose, and the Viking metal sensation Nidhogg, who will play their recent hit single “Gullveig’s Tale.” Look forward to a great show, and may the Dude be with you!

NOTE: NuJin began this parody in his “Dudefest ‘14” article, and I opted to include my own satirical presentation. Like Jin, I do not associate with fams in anyway – this is all an over-the-top look at the culture of Home fam behavior. Hope you enjoy my little satire!

September 16th, 2014 by | 1 comment
RadiumEyes is a big anime fan and a film buff in general. Radium also runs a blog dedicated to anime commentary, and recently completed a short film as a class project.

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One Response to “Dudefest Encore”

  1. Jin Lovelace says:

    DEAD!!! BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA XDD

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