by Burbie52, HSM team writer

During my time in Home I’ve met many personality types. Much of whom we are as people is determined by our upbringing — barring any physical or mental disability issues, of course. Many of those I’ve met over the course of the last five years are people who have varying degrees of social awkwardness for a myriad of reasons. The statement that you have to be damaged in some way to be in Home may be true for many people, though I don’t feel like it really applies to me. I grew up in a tight-knit family that was outgoing and friendly, and they gave me the tools to be able to relate to others easily. We got involved in the theater when I was very young and I learned quickly the ability to put myself in someone else’s shoes. It’s served me well over the years, as I learned to be empathetic and care about others’ needs.

I’m an extrovert: I’ve never had a hard time speaking with people I don’t know.  Not all people are the same, though; in fact, many have a hard time relating to other people, especially strangers. They need some sort of connection to begin a relationship with anyone. Usually it is through work, or perhaps a common friend.

When I had my son, I was almost thirty-four years old. I knew from the start that he would be my only child, for both financial and age-related reasons  I couldn’t see myself going on sixty with an eighteen-year-old ), so when he was small I made a point of pushing him toward interaction with other kids. I didn’t want him to be shy or introverted because we lived in a fairly isolated place — a rainforest on the Big Island — with few kids around to play with on a daily basis. Every time he was near other children, I pushed him to make contact with them, and it seems to have worked, as he is now a social butterfly with no issues at all making friends. He is actually the one who told me about Home when I got my PS3, as some of his friends used it.

VR worlds have been around for a while now. They are fairly new in the scheme of things, but are gaining popularity with each year of their existence. Places like Second Life and Home have opened the way for new ideas in the computer world. I tried Second Life but didn’t really care for it at all; the graphics weren’t that impressive, and some of the content rubbed me wrong. Home on the other hand captured my heart quite quickly.

Before I came into Home I had never really been one for chat rooms or anything like them. The closest I came to it was playing card games with people online and chatting away in the text box below, and even that was a rare occasion. When I bought my PS3 I didn’t even know Home existed; I bought it to play Final Fantasy 13. So, Home was a real eye-opener for me. To this day I can’t believe how much of a change it made to my life. I met some of the coolest people I know here, and will always be grateful for this experience.

Your first look at Home

When you first come into a virtual society you are like a wide-eyed kid with no idea where to go or what to do. Home is a wide-open world with no true direction from the start. At first I had to figure out how to talk to people and just get around, but I bought a keyboard after my first two weeks because I knew it would be an essential part of my experience; that virtual keyboard was just too slow.

Being the extrovert that I am, I had no trouble meeting people. I wasn’t afraid to speak up when spoken to and also to react to others’ conversations, good or bad. I was lucky to meet some very nice people who took me under their wings until I could fly my own course, and I will be forever grateful to them for that. But once I learned the ropes I started to help others and to find new ways to build something out of the tools I had been given.

It started about a year after I had begun my Home life. I bought a clubhouse and started a club called the Grey Gamers, for people who were older than thirty to meet each other and enjoy gaming together — or just enjoy each other’s company. I had met several people in Home who fit this category, so it seemed to be a natural thing to create for me, as I am one of them. The club quickly took off, and before I knew it we had outgrown our clubhouse environment and needed to start meeting in public places.

Some of the Grey Gamers

It was through the club I started to write for HomeStation. I was asked to write about the club and afterwards to continue with the magazine. This fit me to a tee as I have been a writer most of my life, though writing magazine articles was not a part of my repertoire until I started doing it here. I have learned a great deal about the genre at this point, after being here for almost four years now. It is an experience that I will treasure for the rest of my days.

Each of us has their own filter of experience that we view the world through. As you move into a virtual world, many times a lot of the conventional social mores that you live by in your physical existence can be swept away. This is why there is such a troll problem in Home and in games as well. All online games are affected by this, because the people who choose this path feel protected by a form of anonymity. Their real-life constraints are gone and they can act out their anger and angst on an unsuspecting populace with little or no repercussion.

The path you choose in any virtual climate will ultimately determine where you find your niche, your place within its social structure. Some become leaders, some followers — perhaps because they carry leadership roles in real life and want some release from the pressures of it, or perhaps because they have little opportunity in the real world and thus explore it in virtual ones instead.

Phantom Knights – My new community

Within the social structure of my present online community, Final Fantasy XIV, I have become a part of a guild or Free Company, the Phantom Knights. This game is another first for me, as I have never paid to play or been a part of something like it. In my Free Company I am second in command, and I have many responsibilities as such. I am in charge of the day to day running of things which frees up our leader to pursue other things which I am not equipped to do. I like fighting and all of that, but I will never be good enough to lead others into battle at the higher levels. My reflexes and eyesight aren’t up to snuff anymore, so I leave that part to others, our leader included. We have begun a mentoring system for newcomers or people who are trying a new class and it seems to be working well.

I on the other hand have taken up crafting as a means to contribute to the company through creating gear and weapons for everyone. I won’t go into that too much until another time, but just like Home I have found my place in a new virtual world and I am enjoying every second of it.

There is a place in virtual societies for everyone, at least for those who want to take the time to find their particular niche. Even if you are someone who wishes to do things on their own for the most part, you can find your way. Final Fantasy does force you to play with others, though; you can’t conquer dungeons alone, so if you are not able to feel comfortable working with total strangers at times or even with people you know, it is not the game for you at all — but Home might be. There you can feel free to experience it and take things as slowly as you want with no pressure to play with others until you are ready to do so.

I have met some people in FFXIV who play alone for the most part; I call them lone wolves. You have that option if you queue up for dungeons outside a party of players, so even there you can be a lone wolf if you so choose, though I believe it takes a lot away from the fun you can have in the game’s structure.

I believe we all have a place in any virtual society but like real life it is what you chose to make of it — and the decisions that you make are what will determine how much you get out of it. It’s really up to you, perhaps even moreso than real life — because you have more control of the circumstances you find yourself in. So go out and explore this brave new world that computers have given us; it can be very rewarding indeed.

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