by FEMAELSTROM, HSM team writer

As we reflect on a year gone by, we often take stock of things around us. I’m no different. Those of you that have read any of my more personal past articles know that I do reveal a lot of my life in my writings; after all, Home is about the people that are behind the avatars.

I am me: the man behind the avatar. This is my story of what I am grateful for, and what Home means to me, my life and my future. Some may see some of this as a collection of lamentations, but no — I am going to look at what makes me grateful in the face of what are overwhelming forces in my life that could bring me down. And, at the same time, also examine what makes me happy, especially in regards to my existence in Home and how it affects my real world.

Life can sometimes be hard, and we can easily lose sight of the good things in the fog of the hard times. But we have to, even in a bad place, stop and see the beauty around us. No matter how bad things can get, we have to see the beauty in a world that can be harsh at times; otherwise, we will forever stay in that mentally dreary place, even once we have moved on physically. I speak of my own life, frankly, and speak from a place that I am having to deal with in my own life. I am pulled back to the place wherein I must see the bright in the dark — and there is bright. There always is.

So I won’t catalogue my bad place. Instead, let me tell you what is bright, and why.

I rolled onto the PSN on June 22nd, 2011. Since then, I have wandered the wonderland that is Home. I first entered into the long gone Central Plaza, and was amazed at what I found. I felt like Neil Armstrong touching foot as the first human onto the moon. An excitement and wonder filled me, and in all honesty, it still hasn’t worn off. To be exact: I love Home, and each and every day, even the bad ones, brings new things to examine, ponder and marvel at.

What am I grateful for?

At a time when I was low in spirit here in Home, I met up with some people at the Burn Zombie Burn public space. They turned out to be the Gray Gamers, headed by our own Burbie52. Through her and the friends at the Gray Gamers, I came to know the people here at the magazine, namely NorseGamer and DarthGranny.

(A quick note on the Gray Gamers: they have been some of the nicest people I’ve ever encountered, and I have come to really appreciate the friendships forged there.)

Back to NorseGamer and DarthGranny. Both of these people were instrumental in my introduction to the magazine and the opportunity to write for it. I have written for more than a year, but I am going to be one-hundred years old on a porch someday, Home a long-gone, sepia-soaked warm memory, and one of the high points of my life will be the fact that I got to actively engage in one of my favorite hobbies: writing in a public forum. I openly thank the people at this magazine for the chance to do something that I love so dearly, and they have been so supportive. This is one of the things that I am grateful for this year, and always will be.

I have walked through this realm for a while now; my friends list has alternated between nearly full and nearly empty. Today, though, when I look at my list, I see a fine collection of people that I am proud to call friends, and am glad that they are still there. We mutually agreed to not delete, and that in and of itself means a lot to me. Thank you to those that are on my list, and to those that have been; they too meant something in their day. And to the ones to come, they will mean something too. Friends are the true gold of this land, more than anything we can get here. It is the true value here that will and does transcend the entire virtual experience.

I have a personal aphorism I live by: every red light brought me to where I am now. The belief that all the things, no matter how large or small, that happen in our life make us who we are and allow for us to be where we are today.

This article is the culmination of that belief.

The back story is this: it was at a Gray Gamers event — bowling night — that I met the person that makes me so thankful that I ever stepped foot into the realm of Home.

There was a new member to the Gray Gamers club, and Burbie asked those of us who were on microphone if anyone would help the new gal that had just joined. After I heard the request, I realized I was right in front of her, so I volunteered to help her get acclimated to the group, as she was relatively new to the Home experience.

She was a fan of the magazine and had read some of my early articles. We forged a fast friendship. It turned out that we had a lot in common. We are both hardcore sci-fi fans, particularly with Star Trek and Star Wars. We share a great deal of social and ethical views.

It was a little time later that we found a real and deep meaningful romance in each other.

We have grown so very close, and I have mentioned her in articles before; I’ve reached the point that when we talk or even type, we can finish each others’ sentences and read the emotional state of each other simply by a word that is typed. We are in touch through our cell phones and emails, as well as Facebook, and of course Home and the PSN. There isn’t a day we don’t talk, and we each see a future with the other deeply entwined in it.

In simple terms: we love each other very much, and have seen each other’s best and worst that we can be. And we’ve had to help each other from afar (since, geographically, we are very far apart) with the various calamities that have broadsided us. She is simply the one thing that, if Home were to shut tomorrow, I would say it was all worth it. Because of her.

Don’t get me wrong: I love my friends dearly, and they too are definitely valuable. When Home does inevitably close at some point, I want to get as much contact information from my friends as possible to continue keeping in touch with them and caring for their lives as they care for mine. But I hope to do it from a future that is side-by-side with the woman I met here in Home.

This is what I am most grateful for in my journey through Home — not just this year, but in all my time here.

My Mae at Granzella

Thank you, Burbie, for the Gray Gamers, and of course your friendship. Thank you, NorseGamer and DarthGranny, for the magazine (and the friendships forged with the two of you), and thank you MaeBell for the relationship that transcends Home and the virtual existence. Thank you for the relationship we share and the beauty it has brought to my life. Thank you for just being the person you are and being with me.

I know it may seem like a love letter in a way, better left for mid February, but these are the things that I am thankful for — all because of Home.

Now let us all go have an even better 2014.

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