by Susan, HSM team writer

I hope you are siting down as you begin to read this, because Lockwood Publishing has decided that it is time for more of their culture to grace the presence of Home. That’s right: it’s time for tea and crumpets, and we are enjoying them at the Abbey Hill Cottage.

Are you finding yourself overwhelmed with your duties as self-appointed Home royalty? Then summon your personal driver and have him/her whisk you away to the rural countryside and your new charming estate.  Nestled alongside a brook, built with hand-chiseled stone from the surrounding hillsides and surrounded by beautiful gardens, you can easily find this place as your new escape of all escapes.

Lockwood Publishing has thought of everything you will need to furnish this country abode by including rewards for the owner and you will also be able to find associated items for this space in both the store and their popular gift machine. The cottage comes as a standalone item($7.99) or you can grab an entire bundle($14.99) for a less than a basket of fish and chips and a couple pints of ale.  Items that are included in the bundle are the cottage, three horses(LMO) that are saddled up for you ride around your estate on, three companions — two English Setters that will keep your livestock in check, and Lily the Lamb, which you will definitely need to keep away from your chef — a couple of silk fans and a parasol round out this huge bundle.

I hope this place comes with a groundskeeper.

Don’t want all that? No worries, the items can be purchased separately and most can be found in both the store and in the Lockwood gift machine. Have a friend who can only afford the space but has no coinage left over to decorate? To the rescue you and the gift machine come with items ranging from 64 to 256 credits and include such goodies as a wishing well, a water pump, garden tables, some bottles and jars, the much needed porcelain tea set — and if you’re feeling luxurious, they have included a vintage car and a Stag bronzed statue.

All of this of course means nothing unless you have the attire to look the part of the Lord or Lady of your magnificent hillside manor. A complete two-piece ensemble for both would include a tailcoat, trousers, hat and boots for him and for her some shoes, headband, gloves and a dress all for less than 500 credits in the gift machine.

Are you or one of your friends a Home apprentice aspiring to become some great wizard, but all the hocus pocus attempts end up in epic fail? Grab the new Bumbling Wizard LMO and live up to everyone’s expectations. For a mere 384 credits you can show your friends you get where they are at in their training, and gifting them these will help escalate them on their way to the next level.  Have they already achieved greatness as a wizard?  Then for 256 credits you can gift them a set of new threads worthy of their position. In either black or blue they can receive a hat, robe, shoes and (from the bulldozed trees of Central Plaza) either a mahogany or oak wand. These are also purchasable in the store in a bundle ($1.99) option or separates ($.99) in case you are that wizard in need of a new look.

The Cleavers have come to Home.

Lockwood also expanded on two very different collections recently: Figment and Whimsy Hollow.  The Figment line-up is going retro this time around with new modular kitchen furniture that is promoted as, “Will look good in any Dream Universe personal space.”  I don’t know about that, but at a price for the bundle at $3.99 and items that include a fridge, freezer, double oven, sink and dishwasher, cupboards with shelves, corner cupboard and a cupboard(all for sale separably at $.99) I am sure I can find some setting these will work at.

If you’re a fan of the television series Leave it to Beaver, then you will have a blast with this kitchen ensemble as well as the new lineup of Retro Darling or Retro Gents clothing.  Each comes in at $2.99 for the bundle or $.99 individually and includes for the ladies a hairstyle from Medusa called the Darling, white leather elbow gloves, a high waisted belted dress and some cute black high heels with a bow.  The guys get a wool fedora, a leather briefcase, a brown trench coat, jacket and waistcoat, draped slacks and a pair of brown leather shoes.  I think they did a great job recreating and expanding on an era where men were men and kids were to be seen and not heard.

Not to be out done the newest additions to Whimsy Hollow include new companions called Whimsies. If you own the tails and have fanned them out for everyone to see, then the next step would be to get you one of these little guys.. In four vibrant colors these new companions will follow you everywhere on home and with those tails they will be easy to spot in any crowd.  Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter are the four new additions and each only costs a “whimsy” $.99.  They are just to cute and you must buy one now!

And finally, leave it to Lockwood Publishing with a way to be prepared for the after-the-end-of-the-world party with their Post Apocalyptic Guerilla Clothing and a Tank LMO.  In order to defend your precious property in Home, the one thing that will ensure victory — besides making sure your team is loaded up on Hydro Juice — is having a tank. A big, one-man tank. Preferably one that shoots missiles. And one that costs $3.99.

Fam wars be damned,take no prisoners!

Sometimes, though, having a tank isn’t enough — and when it is time to put boots on the ground, you will need to outfit you and your team with the appropriate gear. For $2.99, you can do just that.  This bundle includes a mask, trench coat, shorts, boots and gloves — or, if your team is expendable, you can grab the items separately for $.99 and give them whatever.

What good is a team of guerilla soldiers if they have no weapons? Look no further as Iron Fusion and Full Throttle have the cache you are asking for: riot shotguns (my favorite), semi-automatic pistols and an assault rifle should be all you need (and a tank) to hold back that swarm of noobs hell-bent on replacing you and your precious Dream Universe.

So basically: in this last week, you could become some guerilla terrorist group and annihilate the Abbey Hill Cottage with missiles from your tank, all while cute little Whimsies follow your team into battle.  As you arrive home in your vintage car all bloody and battle weary, you can have your mate make you some bangers and mash in his or her new kitchen while they are practicing on their wizard spells.

All in a week’s work for Lockwood, I’d say.

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