by Susan, HSM team writer

 “I told my wife the truth that I was seeing a psychiatrist.  Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers and a bartender.”

Rodney Dangerfield

There are cocktail bars, wine bars, coffee bars, topless bars, sports bars, biker bars, music bars, blues bars, gay bars, women bars, salsa bars, karaoke bars and dive bars, just to name a few.  We as a society for whatever reason continually look for a need to escape into an environment where alcohol is typically the catalyst for our disastrous choices in life. And when you combine that with the dreamy bartenders that are working in the hottest nightclubs on PlayStation Home, a disaster is only the beginning of the endless temptations that befall even the most courageous of us all.

Once again the lack of self control and inhibitions allowed my red clutch purse — designed by Lockwood, of course — to become a little bit lighter in weight when I was what I will categorize as being hypnotized by those bartenders from Club X7.  I felt like I was a great white shark that had been rolled over onto its back — completely numb. After a few Vetoxades, I was gazing into his soulful eyes as he spoke in a seductive tone that transfixed me and in a state of euphoria and forgetfulness I bought up everything he was selling — literally.

I have been told that I have what some people would call a spending issue at X7. Whatever. There was that morning I discovered that the Dream Yacht captain had departed the waters of the Arctic and set sail for a Halloween party, but this hung-over morning I was hesitantly informed by the ship’s crew that I had paid for membership into PlayStation Home’s notorious Lockwood Motorcycle Club.

I groggily went upstairs to the master suite and opened my wardrobe to get dressed — and in it I found that a few of my drawers were tagged with stars, indicating to me new items were placed there. Lo and behold, there were the clothes and items that I received from becoming a member of the LMC.

Lockwood Motor Club

The smell of newly-tanned European exotic leather permeated the space as I selected the tab and slid into this vest considered a badge of honor amongst the biker clubs of Home. I turned around and saw in the mirror that the club patch on the back of the red vest was divided up into three parts, and anyone who is a real biker understands that significance.

I grabbed the pair of denim jeans and was able to slowly slide them over my hips as if they had been tailored made.  I saw the red leather hat, a skull ring and a bracelet on top of the dresser and also next to and on the floor were a pair of imported leather boots that I was able to pull over my jeans and they fit so perfectly it was as if I they had already known I was going to be receiving these.

I was standing in front of the mirror — looking pretty badass, I might say — but I was really searching for some glimmer of memory of what the hell happened that night.  I slowly started to reach into the leather vest’s pockets, and in the left side I pulled out a single key. Inscribed on one side were the letters LMO and the other side had a lion’s head stamped in it. The right pocket contained a scribbled, handwritten piece of parchment, with the words Return is not an option  and Gift-able to Friends in bright orange ink. Below that, it had a list of items the club had for sale along with prices.

The membership bundle was $2.99 and included everything I had that come across that morning, minus the motorcycle which went for £3.19. They also broke down the items and priced them individually at $.99 with the skull ring and bracelets together at $.49. I turned over to the other side of the paper and saw another item list; it appeared it was the items available for the guys in the club. Their prices looked to be the same — his has acid wash jeans, both came in the red or black leather vest options and instead of the ring and bracelet they have a pair of either blue or red sunglasses — something I’m thinking is much needed while riding the streets of Home. The headgear is different as a black bandanna looks to be their only option for any protection.

New hair styles

As I looked closer at the paper I saw that Medusa has out four new hairstyles and all for $.99.  The two for the women are a short. wavy bob called The Finley and The Celena, a shoulder-length hairstyle with a brow grazing fringe.  I just updated my hairstyle and maybe I’ll do a pass on these this time around but the ones out for the guys are edgy and HOT!

A Skrillex-looking style called The Dash has the left side of the head shaved off.  I would wear this if it was available to us ladies.  The other style for him is called the Brock which is just some tousled spikes for  that guy who is too busy to do his hair.

After a couple days of sailing the waters of PlayStation Home, we pulled into the harbor of Sunset Lounge.  Believe it or not, I needed to get off that boat for some down time and I had the pilot fly our helicopter off the Dream Yacht and over to Club X7.  As I got off the elevator and entered the club I looked over to the VIP area and saw it was empty. Hopefully, I can avoid the bartender and get private service up there instead.

I walk down the stairs and glance over to the left towards the bar, and he’s there. No luck.  I stop and look at him: tight jeans, beautiful locks of blond hair, nicely trimmed mustache and goatee, I see he is busy with another customer but the longer I continue watching him I find myself slowly floating closer and closer to the bar.  And then he sees me and says those words I was not hoping yet yearning to hear from him.

“Hi there, what can I get for you?”

He once again shows me his menu and I come across that logo: Drey.  I lean in and ask him how much if I bundle up the Trend Tycoon items. I tell him I want the black cherry-colored blazer and tube top, the Angelina hair style, the black leather platform sandals, the black high-waisted hot pants, the silver chain, and I want someone to do my nails in red polish.

This is a must buy

The words I heard him say (“Mi Amour, each piece is only $.99 but if you like them all I only ask of you $2.99″)  made me swoon once again.  I wasn’t really thrilled with the hot pants, but at that price and they way he looked at me, I was about to hand over to him once again my black PSN card. Then he stops me.  “Wait, I have even more you might be interested in.”

He tells me that a new Raglan Rebel lineup is out for the guys.  Turning the page on the menu I see that for $2.99 he has bundled up the fold-over boots, the jacket that comes with or without the scarf, a pair of jeans and a reddish colored diamond knit beanie.  I reluctantly try to tell him that it is not something for me and again stops me before I finish. Surely you must have a male friend who considers himself modern but with a laid back style, he asks, as another round of Vetoxade disappears. It seems as though both outfits are not only for sale but are giftable as well.  How can you expect me say no to all that?  Now, if I combine these outfits with the Drey Supermodel Animation Poses and can locate the Figment runway…

It’s very late by the time I pull myself away from the sway of the spotlights, the neverending camera flashes, the bartenders of Club X7 and finally fly back to my Dream Yacht, still moored out at the Sunset Lounge.  I think about the screaming the accountant is going to do, but I end up giggling at the night’s events all while I am playing with my new Angelina hairstyle.  As the shimmering lights of PlayStation Home pass by below us, and we had some time until our arrival back to the boat, I look into the bag of items I was too weak to say no to and inside I found a cocktail napkin with an orange lion’s head logo, and it had two words written on it: Gift Machine.

This could so be an X-Men outfit

As soon as the helicopter landed back on the boat I immediately headed up to the yacht’s bridge; as expected, at this hour while the ship was in port, the bridge was absent of any crew.  I walked over to the Gift Machine and once I entered into the data matrix, as I suspected I discovered some new items were installed into the machine for the PlayStation Home community.

The search uncovered two items for the personal spaces that were available for gifting: an elegant grand piano that looks to be made out of gold mined from the Adventure District and an oriental vase that I am sure if you break, your wishlist will no longer mean anything to anyone ever again.  Delving further into the gift machine matrix I discovered a new Rouge outfit from Full Throttle in snow friendly colors — which made me smile, because I saw the ship’s quartermaster’s charts, and the Dream Yacht will be sailing back to the Arctic soon.

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