by Terra_Cide, HSM Editor-in-Chief

I know, the title sounds rather cliche, and yet without it, this story would not exist.

If you had told me when I first came into Home that, in about five years from that point, I would be hired on by one of Home’s developers, I would not have believed you. Nor would I have believed you if had told me this would happen when I first came on board here at HSM, some three years ago.

Seriously – I came to Home for many of the same reasons as you did. It was something different, something new. It was a place to hang out and chat while waiting for the games you were looking forward to were released; it wasn’t supposed to be a fixture in my life. Just like anyone else, all I wanted was to have fun. I wasn’t all that interested in being “in the know” as far as Home content or developments were concerned. I cared less about being a part of groups or clubs of any sort, or belonging to the “in” social scene – whatever that was. Good times, good friends – that was all Home was for me.

And like all things that start off simple and grow into these multi-layered complexities, Home became more than the sum of its programming. Something that I will be eternally thankful for.

Even if the opportunity to work at Lockwood had never happened, even if I spent all the days of Home’s existence simply just being an occasional writer on some fanblog in some corner of the internet, it had already given me plenty reasons to be thankful.

Yes, Home has given me Norse; that’s a story readers here are familiar with. This is not an endorsement to go out on Home looking for love, however. That’s just asking for all sorts of trouble and heartache. Home wasn’t made for that sort of thing. The odds for hitting the a lottery jackpot are better, and under other circumstances, I’d avoid such notions like the plague. I can’t say that he and I were just lucky to find each other; after 35 years on this planet, I’m not so blind in my faith. There are no consequences in this world. And now, after all the visits, all the late night phone calls, even all the virtual (and real) date nights, I cannot think of anyone else I’d rather have in my life. I am thankful to have found someone in whom I see a soulmate – a rare thing to have in this world.

The reason for that is I know what it is like to have just the opposite, and this is what brings me to the other thing I’m thankful for.

Three years ago, I spent Thanksgiving homeless, getting out of an abusive relationship. Home helped give me the strength to leave; those friends I has surrounded myself with, in an attempt to get away virtually, now also helped me find the strength to get away in reality. Freedom came at a cost however, in the form of losing the security of a roof over my head and my son’s, as well as losing touch with those Home friends – potentially forever. There’s no need to go into the details of what the experience was like, as the intent of this is not to seek a means of sympathy. However, having gone through that experience gives a sense of perspective that I would otherwise lack.

I had realized early on in my homelessness that everything – every choice, every action or inaction – was on me. What I chose to do from there on out was on me. It is one of the most freeing and most terrifying experiences anyone can ever experience. It would have been easy to fall into despair, easy to point the finger and cast blame on the circumstances I faced outward, rearing  a child alone and an uncertain future, but that would have done nothing to improve our situation. Not only that, but it would have also made me blind to the opportunities crossing my path to improve that situation.

I am thankful that Home gave me friends who showed me the value of my own self worth.

I am thankful that Home gave me the love of my life.

I am thankful that, while it was not my intention when I joined, the work done here at HSM (because what you see as published work only makes up a fraction of what goes on), has earned me an opportunity I never would have dreamed of. And now, three years after reaching the lowest of lows, things have come full circle.

And with each passing experience and opportunity, I grow more thankful.

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2 Responses to “An Attitude of Gratitude”

1. Burbie52 says:

   November 30, 2013 at 12:26 pm

   Great story Terra. Home has done a lot for me as well and I am thankful for it in many ways. I am thankful that I can express myself through my writing here and have met so many wonderful friends and interesting people. Those on the outside don’t understand, they never will. And though many people I know in the “real” world scoff and poo poo what I am doing here, I will never leave until they shut the doors.

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2. Susan says:

   November 30, 2013 at 4:00 pm

   This is a perfect example of the adage that I say quite often, and that is that everyday brings a new rainbow. Congrats again on all your accomplishments here on PlayStation Home and in the other realm we call the real world.

   Reply