Tron meets the Rainforest Cafe in Hell: Club Luminosity
by ted2112 HSM team writer
For the record, I am a huge Konami fan. Solid Snake is like an old friend and the Streets of Silent Hill are as familiar to me as my home town. Konami has brought us such wonderful highs in gaming.
And now they have brought us a new horrible low with the Club Luminosity.
The new personal Space from Konami is as terrifying as the worst monsters in Castlevania, and like you do to them, you will want to bash this space with a melee weapon. This tall, multi-level circular space is decked out in multicolor neon with booths that ring around a large central dance floor. After thinking about it long and hard, I can only describe it as Tron meets the Rainforest Café in hell.
The space – I think – is supposed to be some kind of nightclub. I’m still not totally sure about this because after two visits, there doesn’t seem to be any music that plays in the space. It’s kind of a strange silent bucket shaped space where a rainbow got violently sick in.
I understand that the initial glitchy audio problems the space had at first have been fixed and there is music playing there now, but frankly I just don’t want to go back, so you will just have to find that out for yourselves.
Club Luminosity isn’t a total loss, however. There are some Home users that buy every space that comes out and this space will be perfect for them. Also, the price is right. At $5.99 USD, it is a lot of real estate of the buck. There are several items that come with the space. A speaker, plants, turntables and assorted chairs – all in neon, of course, – are all generously thrown in to this neon bad trip.
There is one truly outstanding element to this space. The upper dome has a wonderful planetary display that is quite striking. I’m not sure if it moves or not because it seems like this whole space is moving, to be honest. The planets in space display are – you guessed it – done in neon. This element alone is worth the trip, even if you don’t want to dance in the day-glow night away.
I hate talking bad about a favorite developer of mine, one that has brought me such gaming joy in my life, but I feel my duty as a writer compels me to report the neon facts about this space. I don’t make the spaces, I just report them.
The Club Luminosity space is attack on the eyes that that is in many ways on par with the Konami Jetsetter Space they released just a little over a year ago. That space was an attack on the ears with a loud voice that screamed “Konami” like a sick banshee every time you walked into a room. Let’s hope they aren’t aiming for the other senses in the future. So after you have checked out this neon rainbow of fun, go play some Silent Hill or Metal Gear Solid. Those are truly Konami masterpieces!
- Great nighttime planetary display
- priced right
- Neon, neon, neon
- May make you sick
July 18th, 2013 by ted2112 | 9 comments
ted2112 is a writer and a Bass player that has been both inspired and takes to heart Kurt Vonnegut words...."we are here on planet Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone tell you different."
TwitterShare
| Tweet |
Lol I like the way people apologize when they are reviewing something that is bad. Too many users in home rate things as either always a 5 or always a 1 the lack of meaningful feedback hurts the community and what you have written is decent feedback. The key thing that several developers forget is they make these massive spaces of a social nature. Then forget only 12 people can use it. Now last time I went out to a club and saw only 12 people in it. I didn’t stay long. That’s in real life or home if I went to singstar for a dance and only found 12 people in the space id be off else where if it didn’t get busier.
When I was a kid one of my favorite things to read was a publication called TOTAL! Magazine. One of the best things about the mag were the reviews; the ones on the really bad games.
The two guys who made the entire magazine each month were just about the funniest writers ever (in my childish opinion) and when they laid into a badly made game, they pulled no punches.
I found them so hilarious in fact, the first thing I’d do after getting my monthly copy, would be to find the lowest scoring game review. Then I’d LOL myself to bits while guzzling coke and practically inhaling sweeties.
Never be afraid of coming down hard on something if you feel it deserves it from a journalistic point of view, I liked this; honesty works!
Cheers Ted.
I agree Ted wholeheartedly. Take my word for it the music doesn’t make it any better either, it makes it worse because it is loud and sounds electronic and you can’t turn it off. This comes as a clubhouse as well, but I wouldn’t subject my members to it. It is definitely for a younger crowd, one with a strong stomach and ears that have already been deafened by their car rattling bass music. Even though it doesn’t scream Konami every 30 seconds or so it may as well be doing that.
I didn’t like that space at all. Even for someone who’ve been to a couple of Rave parties in my life, I wouldn’t recommend this Space. I can’t fathom on how anyone could truly get an enriching experience from it in comparison to other great Konami items on Home, with the Gothic Cathedral being THE best personal space Konami has ever produced.
I’d rather spaz out on MGS-related content on Home than to go see my eye Doctor to treat some retina disease Club Luminosity would pass to me. :/
That’s three for three, Konami (Jetsetter, Gogo-Dancers and now this space). xO
Great review and i agree with u. Sometimes if a reader reads a bad review they may feel compelled to check it out. It would be funny to see if most ppl feel like u do. Love the title of the article too.!!
There are places I have gone in Home that I do not like, but I will explore. The moment this place loaded up on my screen, I thought that something bad had happened to my t.v., and this was the first time I ever really wanted to leave a place…FAST! I was with a friend and she wanted to look around so I stayed with her, but the place was gaudy and garish and an absolute eyesore. I will never buy this place. Yes Konami makes great games, and I too am a huge fan of Metal Gear, but this place is a fail on many neon spewed levels. Great review Ted, good to see ya call it like it is.
I had to stop by and see this space with my own eyes after reading this. I wonder if this review drove up its numbers. Lol. All I can say is great review!
“There are some Home users that buy every space that comes out and this space will be perfect for them.”
Good line
Darn, lol I thought the music in this public space was fantastic! I never really paid much attention to the aesthetics though (if you can believe that!). I had a hunch that, given Konami’s ‘Raver’ line they would opt for a club that compliments the clothing, but is Japanese in nature.
A quick Google image search of Japanese nightclub interiors confirmed my suspicions that they are DEFINITELY fans of futuristic and neon. Is the neon really the issue here or is it the lack of overall creativity?
If we strip the space of it’s neon fortress it presents itself as a boxy structure with sharp geometric angles, zero flow, and zero theme in furniture design (contemporary, futuristic, zen?)
What are some ideas for improvement? Taking a nod from Japanese club aesthetics, space is utilized as best as possible through creative and unique furniture design, color palettes and differing themes (even within the same club). Simply breaking up the monotony would not only invite exploration, but could cater to the different Konami product lines.
Konami already has great selections that could work as themed ‘rooms’ within the club: fashionista (modern theme), anime (Japanese theme), Gothic/Silent Hill/Saw (gothic, Jhorror, Lolita theme)…heck even the ‘bloons’ and ‘Pajamas’ lines would make for a “cute” themed room. The main room could still remain the focal point for their ‘Raver’ line.