Let’s Go Bowling
by Susan, HSM guest contributor
“The bowling alley is the poor man’s country club.”
–Sanford Hansell
Three places of social gathering which, as a youth, I spent some time at: the mall, the rollerskating rink and the bowling alley. I had family and friends that were involved in bowling leagues, and I tried to excel at this game, but eventually succumbed to just enjoying the game for what it is: a binder for fellowship.
I remember eating my first spicy pepper at a bowling alley. I had one of those wrist braces to assist me in keep my wrist aligned when releasing the ball, but the real deal was that I thought they were a pretty neat fashion accessory.
And yes, I would watch bowling on the television.
Logging into Home for the first time, the bowling alley is where I began my personal obsession of Home. Yes, obsession. I am a confessed Home addict. Coming in from Central Plaza, you walked up the stairs into what is by today’s Home standards a small but comfortably-sized public space. It had six pool tables where you could play a game of eight-ball. On either end of the space were a couple of cubicles that housed two types of arcade cabinets. There were five bowling lanes available to enjoy, and several places to sit and talk to people while waiting in the queue. I even remember the daily ritual of people coming up to you and kneeling in front of you while you had to sit and wait for your turn.
That was, at this point, several years ago.
Occasionally, the powers behind PlayStation Home conduct updates to some of the public spaces here. Some are deleted, likely due to contract expiration. Others are replaced with updated attractions. On the plus side, the constant change keeps me returning frequently, while the removal of Central Plaza and the updated version of the Community Theatre are, in my view, two stand-out mistakes.
And last year, the Bowling Alley received what one could consider an upgrade. I however feel differently.
I am not saying that I do not enjoy the new version of the Bowling Alley. The celebration animations upon a spare or strike are cute, the first couple of times. The different angles in which you can watch the action while playing is kinda fun to mess with. Those things to me are more like giving a thirsty man just a drop of water when what he really is in need of is a gallon.
This game is an iconic one for Home. It has been around since day one. It survived the Great Home Overhaul of 2011. People still fill the lanes and pool tables to this day. There are a lot of people on horses and motorcycles in here now. So why hasn’t anything really been updated to this place? The game’s mechanics have been changed, yes, but what about the set dressing and some of the functionality issues?
Lets start with the obvious: the bowling lanes. The game has no rewards to offer, and it still has only five lanes, each allowing no more than four people to play at a time. There are times I am in the queue, eight or nine people deep, and while that might have been acceptable in 2009 or 2010, it just seems clunky by today’s standards for Home. So why not create a new public space with the same mini-game, but double the space to ten lanes? Assuming there’s sufficient memory to allow for it, it would be a significant logistical improvement.
Next up: stop allowing people to enter the bench area we sit at unless they are engaged in the game. This would stop those crotch sniffers and people who decide to dance the rave in front of your face. Nonverbal/non-textual social harassment is still an issue in Home, and this would be a welcome change which would make the game experience more enjoyable.
Is it possible to occasionally change up the themes in the bowling alley like they do for other spaces? If they can make zombies invade Central Plaza with a mini game, why can’t we have candlelight bowling or disco night bowling? Granted, it’s not as simple as changing a small part of a set dressing (as is regularly done with the Hub’s promotional commerce points), and it doesn’t directly monetize, but we can dream, can’t we?
I think we should be able to see other peoples’ scores. Back in the day at a real world bowling alley, your bowling score was posted up on a monitor for all to see. Gutter balls and all. The ads in the Bowling Alley can go elsewhere on the walls. In the Hellfire Poker room you can see the gameplay as well as the chip count. This is similar to what I would like to see added at the lanes.
Where is the clerk and the counter for getting your shoes? I see another reward possibility, or even have a PlayStation store kiosk placed near by. Customized bowling shoes might not be a huge bestseller item, but it’s a low-cost item to create which could make a return on its investment. Bowling leagues do exist in Home — just hang out with HCV Bambi01-us to find out more — but let’s make it official as a mini-game with a leaderboard and monetize the thing. Shirts could be another reward or customized commodity for sale, for instance. And what bowling enthusiast wouldn’t prefer a better selection of bowling balls? This could be a reward you would earn for a benchmark achieved. Sell them as a commodity. Customize your own ball. Make us use Sodium credits. I don’t care. 
Let’s also talk about those aforementioned pool tables and arcade games. The pool table offers just one game: 8-ball. You can practice until someone joins the table. Offering other variations of billiards would be a welcome upgrade. Hell, I would settle for game of 9-ball or an uninterrupted practice mode. And those arcade games have to go (so long as a cabinet version of Echochrome is made available for personal estates). Very, very few people play those games any more. This area is screaming for Galaga, Pac-Man, Asteroids, Dragon’s Lair, or even the Tron arcade game. Yes, it involves a ton of licensing deals, but dammit, this is a Home core space.
(Of course, then we get to the idea which has floated out there for years, and which HearItWow himself has argued passionately for: a bowling alley as a personal estate or clubhouse. Why has this not happened in half a decade of Home?)
The Bowling Alley is still a place where newcomers gather to start the exploration of Home as well as continuing to entertaining the veterans of this game. The additions to the game have improved the experience, albeit ever so slightly. If you have not been back to the bowling alley, I suggest you give at a chance. It is still a fun game to play and the pool tables there are still far better than the one you can buy for your personal space.
Now if we could just stop the motorcycles from dripping oil all over the carpet.
March 9th, 2013 by Susan | 11 comments
Susan is a team writer for HomeStation Magazine, co-founder of the award winning media group-AvatardProductions, a PlayStation MVP and a Home Guide. PSNID SCEA/xx96791DEATHxx-SCEE/oXx_EnIgMa_xXo. An avid PlayStation Home user, she is most often found setting land speed records at the Sodium 2 velocity racetracks, sitting at the Pier Park or playing with the R/C vehicles at Acorn Meadows Park.
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Could not agree more sue.
PS sorry bout my Konami motorcycle’s awesomeness and its leaking oil.
Not your fault there is no education in motorcycle maintenance on Home..
I have to admit that your call to retire Echochrome sent chills through my Homeling soul. But a privately-owned Echochrome machine, which you suggested, would be an acceptable compromise — if it rewards the same prizes.
I do agree that the Bowling Alley could be greatly improved. However, there is something about the retro atmosphere of the current version (as well as its air of benign neglect) that appeals to me. It’s one of our last links to the look-and-feel of the original Home.
Eliminating the crouchers is a good idea, as are leaderboards and support for bowling leagues. And I do love the idea of a private Bowling Alley apartment and clubhouse skin. Great article, Susan!
I was expecting a response from a Homeling..glad it was you..my thing is..you just don’t see anyone really ever playing the game in the space..Actually an afterthought was to wish they would replace at least one side of the arcade cubicle with a Foosball table…
I’m not an Homeling but I would defend the echocrhome with beaks and fangs… A privately-owned cabinet would be nice but a free to play version at the bowling alley is part of our history
Other than that, all good. I never tried the game. One of the reason is when I first visit the place as a newbie I was a bit shy to join the queu. More lanes would be really good.
As long as you don’t bring any blue balls I would play with you..
I agree with most of what you have said Sue. I think the bowling alley could use an upgrade. It is one of the most popular spots in Home, perhaps that is why it hasn’t changed much, people don’t like change sometimes, and they whine in the forums.
A personal bowling apartment would be ideal. Making it a club skin even better, this way people could form teams and bowl against each other, I could really see that being a very popular skin. Some small improvements to the current alley would benefit it greatly, nice read.
Thank you Burbie..Good point about people resisting change..A club skin would be awesomesauce..
Great article Sue! I have never been much of a bowler both on Home and in real life… I weigh the same as some bowling balls. I do enjoy a game of pool from time to time. How about a Roller Rink and skate park added to the Bowling ally. And/or a go cart track.
I bet the hand crafted wooden bowling balls of yesteryear weigh more than you..a go cart would be something I think could be a fee-sable and profitable concept..Sodium Credits??..More of working at Scorpios to earn credits..I call upon Lockwood to give us a public or even private go cart space/tracks…Roller Skating rink would be Hellacool..:)
Yup feel free to hang out with me! As most know, I love the Bowling alley!