Farewell Home
by ted2112 HSM team writer
It’s sad to say, but all good things must come to an end. Just look at things like the middle class or the Mini Game section of the PSN store. It was just too much — Home ran for about four years on the PS3, but in the end it simply got crushed under its own weight.
I remember being so excited about the big franchises coming to Home. It started with Harry Potter and Doctor Who, and quickly escalated into a Liberty City section of the Action District and the massive Disney World Zone just off the Hub. (Now we truly know what those monorails were for.) Then we found out that “coming soon door” in the Lucas Arts Creature Cantina actually did work, leading to the entire Star Wars universe, all in amazing HD — but someone simply forgot to take the sign off the door.
What was behind that door
I was also excited when Sony gave free 60-inch Flat Screens LED TV’s to every registered user in Home. I have a few accounts, so I ended up with three. I never thought to ask myself, how much is this costing Sony? It was a great advertising campaign designed to bring people into Home, but with over seven hundred million new users, not only could you not move in the Hub, but the lag time that Sony said they “were looking into” got so bad it’s only now in these final days that my Harbor Studio furniture is just starting to download.
As a writer for Home I should have seen the problem then, like when used Home items started to appear for sale by the thousands on Craigslist. I should have seen the writing on the wall. But I guess I was just like most of us, too busy being swept up in the free Dominos pizza for life minigame in SportsWalk.
The final nail in the Home coffin, however, was that when Home Depot decided they legally owned the name Home, and insisted that Sony immediately change the name. Sony did what it could, but was so broke due to the free TV campaign it couldn’t afford to defend itself in court, and made the correct decision to close Home. To all the participants in the HSM “Rename Home” contest, we apologize. There were many good submissions. My personal favorite was that place where you do those things by xCuteSamariGirl69x. I will truly miss all those creative people.
the HSM Team
And so, like a beloved family pet, we must now take Old Yeller out back and shoot him and move on with our lives. I find myself with time I never thought possible. Without the HSM hourly production meetings and daily five thousand word article proposals, I will finally have a life. I have always wanted to visit the island of misfit toys and see my old friends JellyGun76 and Charlie-in-a-box. Perhaps that dream will finally come true.
So this is goodbye. I bid you all a fond farewell, not just from me, but from the entire HSM team. It has been our pleasure to bring you all the latest and greatest news, and sometimes true information, from Home. To all my dear friends — it has been fun!
March 31st, 2013 by ted2112 | 8 comments
ted2112 is a writer and a Bass player that has been both inspired and takes to heart Kurt Vonnegut words...."we are here on planet Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone tell you different."
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Happy April fools for to you too
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! DX
Yeap, sure was fun. Remember that one time when Bugatti did that promo giving out free Veyrons to all Home users who had the Sony mansion and my friend was so upset that there wasn’t one in baby pink so sued them for a bazillion million but only ended up with the company as compensation? Ahh, funny days! She’s still not happy by the way…
Thanks for the laugh!!! When I saw the title of the article, I was like OH NO!! And then The Disney World Zone thing had me excited and then I figured it out! Happy April Fool’s Day! However a free Domino’s Pizza for life game, sounds great!! I would be playing everyday. I like all the ideas!! But again, thanks for making me laugh!!!
Ted, Re: staff picture in your article, you know that we like to be informed when we are photographed, this is a real picture, sure, I can see me, there’s you in the corner, I also see Terra and Burbie. Funny, I’m trying to remember when this was taken, but, it looks like every meeting. RE: Domino’s Pizza for life contest, think about it;sedintary people that sit in front of a t.v. for countless hours and a life time supply of pizza, I just described my day to day.
Sorry to see you leave. Guess you found another place to fart around?
Maybe HSM can hire a look-a-like to take your place. Or… after reading the article, maybe they already have.
Thats hilarious!
Great article, Ted. Soooo funny. I just adore your writing…
and you! I love you. Will you marry me?
(April Fools!)