I Don’t Date in Home
by Kassadee_Marie, HSM team writer
I wish I could wear that statement as a status over my avatar’s head while I’m in Home.
Kassadee Marie
… doesn’t date in Home
Maybe I should change the name of my club to that, so everyone can read it. And, of course, I wish people would believe and respect it.
Don’t get me wrong. I know that people meet online and fall in love and have real relationships. They even marry and have kids. But I don’t date online. I won’t date online, and dudes, please, stop asking. Also, in case you’re wondering, I don’t think I’m anyone especially special. I’m just that rare creature on Home – a real girl. In my non-virtual life, I’m an average looking girl, carrying a little extra weight, and I’m a bit shy and a touch nerdy, in an in-love-with-words kinda way.
As one of the 15% on Home (85% male/15% female is the estimated user ratio) I am often overwhelmed with attention while I’m in public spaces. Some is good, some is neutral and a lot is really bad. No, I don’t mind talking to a newcomer, except when he jumps into the middle of a conversation with a non-sequitur. But I rarely give trolls more than a glance, a report and an “ignore”. I admit I used to care a lot more about other people’s actions and words (by way of their avatar) than I do now, but I guess my skin has thickened. Those are pixels on the screen, not me. But, I would like to remind people who say, “It’s just a game!” that I am not an NPC in their video game. “I’m a real person here, with real feelings, just in case you forgot.”
If a guy comes up to me because he wants to meet a girl, then he’s come to the wrong person. And I really have to ask them, “Why are you trying to meet girls online? What’s wrong with the girls in your non-virtual life…or what’s wrong with you?” And, I’m also tempted to ask, “How do you know I’m female?” Because, as I’ve said before, if you look around on Home and half the avatars you see are female, at least a third of those are guys who are cross-dressing. While we all know there are a lot of reasons for cross-dressing that are personal to them and harmless to others, there are other reasons for it that are not so benign. I’m sure you can think of plenty of examples, so I won’t spell them out.
The truth is, one of the main reasons I don’t date online (Home) is because I tried it, and it turned out to be a mess. Maybe I’ll tell that story some day.
So, what am I doing on this social/gaming network called Home, if I don’t date there? Two years ago or so, I was a level-six gamer at about 98%. Now, I’m barely at level seven. So, what happened? Well, Home happened. All the fun, excitement and vicarious adventure that I used to get through gaming, I now get through this virtual world that I think of as my “Home away from home.”
So, what role do I play in Home? I’ve played quite a few, actually.
When I first joined Home, I had the opportunity to play the role of Hamster Princess/Guard, and I had more fun playing that role than many purchased games of the role-playing genre. In that role, it was my sacred duty to guard the Queen, and as a female, I could go anywhere with her. I loved going to FevaPitch and dancing on the field with the Queen and King and all my Hammie brothers and a few sisters. I made a lot of friends from that club, and a few of them are still my friends today, over two and half years later.
One of my favorite roles has been playing a friend. I’m not saying that I play this role as a fake BFF, but as a real friend, as my friend is a true friend to me. We’ve been through some hard times together, but we’ve had mostly good times. We have years of laughter and fun to look back on… good memories, indeed. Dittodat, 86!
I enjoyed playing a member of the Welcoming Committee for many months, and I was sorry when julie_love decided to no longer hold the meetings on Wednesdays and Saturdays, as she had for so long. I never found out why the “meet-and-greets” are no longer held. Maybe she felt they weren’t as effective as she had hoped, or perhaps she was hoping for a larger group to be formed around the idea. Maybe she simply burned out. It happens.
Sometimes, you meet a person who adds you to their friends list and then starts sending you flyers for parties. This happened to me. I played the role of party-goer for awhile and I really enjoyed them at first. The pajama party at the Island Bungalow Apartment open house was a blast! But, after classes started again last autumn, I’ve had a lot less time for Home and parties. I just have to choose among the possible activities there, and research for my budget articles is a priority for me.
I’ve been in and out of a few clubs during my time on Home. But, I have to admit, I’m not very good as a club member. The reasons are many, such as these: I want my pop-up color to match my outfit, and not be dictated by membership in a club. I have a hard time making meetings during the week. I’m not adding a bunch of strangers to my friends list just because we’re in the same club. I think most of the clubs have silly rules. But mostly, with all the good intentions in the world, I believe clubs are a hot-bed for drama and I don’t have the time or inclination to get involved with drama.
I’m currently playing my favorite role ever: that of HSM staff writer. Writing’s in my blood. If I wasn’t writing for this magazine, I’d still be writing, even if it was only for myself, as I have done in previous years. I hope my writing is worthy and my articles are useful to others.
What about the future? What role will I be playing here? Well, who knows? That’s one of the wonders of this wonderful place called Home. We can choose many roles to play, one at a time or all at once. What’s your role?
February 25th, 2013 by Kassadee Marie | 4 comments
Home is endlessly entertaining to this California girl. Kassadee has been in Home for about four years, and loves almost everything about it (with a few notable exceptions). She spends way too much money there, and perhaps too much time... Someday she will travel the world and write about the people she meets and the places she sees.
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Great article! I’m the rare one I guess I actually date the man I met on home in real life. I’d have to say that friend is my most important role. In the year I’ve been on home my friends matter the most to me. Most of them knew me when I was a noob and we’re there for each other. That’s what keeps me coming back. However, I’ll never date on here again. My friends matter more than romantic drama… and drama always follow romance on Home.
Nice article Kass! I know that Home dating isn’t for everyone that is for sure. One of the biggest issues there is distance, many people who meet and want a relationship live a long way away from each other, and those kinds of relationships are hard in any format. Trust is always an issue there, but I actually think Home is a good place to meet and get to know people, even potential mates, because you have much more control over the amount of information that is given. Also the relationship can be based upon who the person is, not looks.
I am glad you have found the HSM family and joined our ranks, and I am using family in the real sense not the FAM sense. Whenever you get a group of hard working people all with the same goal in mind to work together you can create something great. Good article.
Finding a compatible partner is difficult enough as it is,adding the online dynamic can certainly complicate things.Then again its not impossible as Terra_Cide and NorseGamer have demonstrated,whom I have come to think of collectively and affectionately as “TerraGamer.”Great article.
Looking for love in all the wrong places. nm, here’s a romantic song guaranteed to maybe turn any avatar’s heart if I don’t mess it up.
for romantic song click this
Interesting on the dropping off of video games to play on Home.