Home: A Tool for the Young?
by FEMAELSTROM, HSM team writer
I was in the Star Wars Creature Cantina with a friend the other night. My lady friend was dressed as a man to avoid the trolls, so we appeared to be two males. We were standing on the dance floor when a polite young man approached us. He was showing us the free suits he had gotten from the Dust public space, and was proud of what he was wearing. We exchanged pleasantries for a while, until he asked if we could add him as a friend. As is customary with people I don’t know, I asked his age. He said he was twelve. My friend and I apologized and informed him that we are both over 40, and we do not friend kids, especially that young. We both felt bad, but in today’s environment, I feel it is a safe policy to maintain. I have a few young friends, but there are specific circumstances behind each of those connections.
As I stood and thought about the policy I maintain towards kids, my mind ambled around that playground that are my thoughts and I wondered what my life would have been like in Home when I was twelve, or at least the official minimum age, thirteen.
Even back then I was not good at these games.
I can say without question it would of been radically different. Here’s a little history: I was twelve in 1980. I am an artist, as I have written many times before. This is at least partly because I had no friends to speak of in my youth. I needed to pass the hours of my childhood doing something, and what I did was draw. So in that, I gained a talent from my loneliness.
In 1980, video games were nothing like they are now. Graphically, video games were in their infancy and had far to go before achieving even the level of Mario in that famous plumber’s game. There was no online play or DLC. We did not have an Internet or the ability to simply jump online without a second thought. All phones were wired to a wall, and an avatar meant that little plastic action figure I had in my hand as I played in the dirt in front of my house.
Ah, those were some days!
I was not socially the most popular person, nor was I sought out as a friend. I had a few kids who were my friends during my walk through my youth, and a couple actually had my telephone number — but dear friends, not really. Most of my life, I have been a loner, and I am fine with that. The point of my article is not a deep examination of my life, or asking for a pat on the back. The things I list are facts that I have grown to feel comfortable with. No, the point of this article is this:
If a place like Home had existed when I was, say, fifteen, I think my life would have been profoundly different. How? you ask. Allow me to explain.
Gimme gimme gimme!
Economics:
Many of the youth today don’t understand the workings of money. When we are handed a $20 PSN card, we suddenly have to think about that money and plan how to spend it wisely. As an adult with my own income and discretion, that is not a big concern. But I see my nephew, who is fourteen, have to think out where each and every penny will go. Admittedly, this is a small issue for many, but in my youth, I would have understood it fully. Many times, kids end up buying the magical beans from some strange weirdo on the corner offering a promise of a golden goose. And at times, I will admit, I bought some of those beans myself. A good frame of mind about the concept of spending money and shopping wisely, even in Home, would have served me well.
Coping with bullies and thugs:
Home is full of these people. They are as thick in the air as flies at a picnic. And in its own way, this could have been a real benefit for my younger self. Dealing with the “baddies” in a way that didn’t allow for one-on-one violence or the nerve-racking face to face stand downs would have forced me to resolve issues without confrontation.
This could have been aided by being surrounded by the people who seek peaceful resolutions on Home. I and my more mature friends are constantly trying to encourage the young not to respond in hostile ways. This place is fun on many levels, but many of the public spaces still have the factors present in school playgrounds — the bullying, the harassment, the aggressive confrontations that mar the fun for so many. Perhaps if hostility can be faced down here, where we cannot fall back on violent action, it could help a young person to deal with aggression in a non-violent way back in the real world.
Making friends more easily:
Growing up as a loner, it was hard to meet people. I was a very shy person, and that shyness was almost crippling. I could not talk to girls, and I had a hard time just talking to people in general. Home is a place where, if you want friends, you have to approach other people — and yes, total strangers. That old rule of not talking to strangers applies here too, but with some tailoring. Home could make it easier for a young person to talk to people and make connections with friends and fellow gamers. For a person who is perilously shy, it is a tool that can be used with real effectiveness.
There is an uneasyness that comes with making friends anywhere. The fear of rejection, the questions of protocols that surround friendships, the fear of making a friend and losing them later. These elements can be emotionally paralyzing to a shy person who would prefer not to take chances or get hurt. Home allows a little more anonymity, and thus makes it easier to feel comfortable with the process of making friends.
I don’t want to be in that!
Be less of a wall flower/weed:
In my Home adolescence, I had friends and I would go their places and hang out with them. But one problem that plagued me was simple: as I said before, I was massively shy. And when I did get to friends’ homes, I acted as a wallweed.
Frankly, I hated it. I was out of my element, like a fish in a frying pan. My friends were kind and gracious and treated me as well as they could, but if they were hosting a party, they couldn’t be sitting by me all the time, and I was poorly equipped to hang out with people I did not know.
Over time, I grew out of that shell, and have become far more involved in events and social gatherings. Home aided in my growth so vastly that I can’t help but think that a person who embraces Home in a constructive way can only glean good from experiences like mine. It can help people who, like me, are afraid to stick their necks out, to see that if one joins in good groups, they can make quality friends and enjoy their personal growth as others enjoy their company.
Our problems have been around before this guy came along.
All these issues were dealt with before the electronic age, and even before electricity. But seeing Home here and now, it seems like a good tool in its own right. These problems were not new when I was twelve, and they were not new 100 years ago, and they won’t be new 100 years in the future. They are as much as part of life as breathing and walking.
So, my thought is this: when I was twelve, Home would have been an effective tool, if implemented with a few other factors (which I did have) such as parental guidance and involvement, a clear set of rules, and punishments if I failed to follow the rules. This is a place that can teach us a lot about how to interact and relate with people of all ages and interests. I admire the kids who can use it and benefit from it, because it would have been great for someone like me. If I could have used this tool and maybe gained some wisdom at an early age, I could have avoided much confusion.
Home will not solve all of a youth’s ills, but it may help swing the compass arrow north a little faster. I, as an adult with some wisdom, can see how Home could be a very helpful place and effective tool, especially if combined with adult guidance. If only more youth would see it, and use it, as such!
August 19th, 2012 by FEMAELSTROM | 3 comments
FEMAELSTROM came to Home in June 2011 and never wanted to leave, even at weekly maintenance when he usually gets booted. The sand box environment appeals to the explorer in him and often is out and about as he ‘geeks’ out dressed like some sort of sci-fi character, while he people watches in popular public spaces. An artist and writer, FEMAELSTROM loves making friends and meeting people. He loves sci-fi and decorating Home estates and loves to respond “here” when people ask “where are you from?” in public places.
I can relate to your back story a lot. Loner, shy…
Home help me too to open up more.
The first time I pulled out my spider companion on home the reaction two of my friend had reminded me of a new artificial environnement tool used to help/cure people with arachnophobia. Yes I think Home can help kids ( and older kids) in many way. But the parental supervision is the key. Lots of it! Something many online kids lack I’m affraid.
There might not be physical violence on home. But I saw a lot of violence. Online bullying can do some real damage too.
I have some friends who have younger kids in Home, but they are watched like hawks while they are online. The older one was watched each time he came in for over a year then once his parents were satisfied he knew the do’s and dont’s he was given more slack.
Their younger one is still way too young to be in Home alone, so they just let her go to specific areas like the Mui Mui Ship and Loco Island to play there under strict supervision.
I agree that Home can be a tool to help many young people learn about life a bit, but the sad fact is that many are in here under no supervision at all, the PS3 has become a babysitter, and that is a situation that needs to be rectified. I think that 13 is way too young to be left alone in Home, there are too many predators already, and if Home becomes more popular as time goes on, it will also become more known about by these types of people as well.
I have met kids who are ten in here, and when I ask where their parents are they say they don’t care that they are in Home. This may or may not be true, but it is still something that needs to be looked at and dealt with somehow. It is a very scary scenario.
Great article Strom, it gives a lot of food for thought.
13!? Thirteen!? I’m sure the age limit in EU Home is 16, STILL too young IMO lol! Not that it matters anyway, as Burbie says, some parents think the PS3 is a sitter and most dont have a clue about games (coz y’know, they’re FOR kids) and certainly know nothing of what Home is. But that’s a whole other subject.
If I had Home as a kid I’d be in there constantly, since my mum was one of those parents who saw consoles as toys. In fairness, in those days, they kinda were. Point is though, I’d probably benefit from the confrontation of trolls as practice for verbally dealing with my bullies heh, course it would’ve come to blows anyways; “Bud” and his gang liked piling onto the lonesome little ones regardless of what you said- quick wit will only work on them if they UNDERSTAND IT lol!
Aaaaaaanyways, Home should be 18 up IMO. I know that seems a little harsh since the US lets kids drive at what, 16? But in my experience of “kids” in Home I’ve only ever met a few that are mature and smart enough to hold a good conversation without devolving into moans about how “unfair life is” or somesuch teenage angsty nonsense.
I like to think that age doesn’t matter in most circumstances, but when your talking about a 12 YO girl pretending to be 18 talking with a socially stunted man with an over-active libido, problems start. Greater measures are needed to enforce a better age restriction policy within Home maybe. Saying that, it’s good to learn things the hard way too y’know…