Judging Others
by Kassadee Marie, HSM team writer
In the real world, we see the way a person looks and hear the way they speak as soon as we meet them. When we look at them, we can see their gender, general appearance, such as the way they dress, and we can approximate their age. From the way they talk and what they choose to talk about, we can make a few assumptions about their background, level of education and their interests. Are we one hundred percent accurate about everything? No, of course not. But a few assessments get us on our way to learning about another person and deciding if we want to pursue a friendship.
Similarly to the non-virtual world, we have a few quick ways to judge others in Home. There are three things we know right away about a stranger on Home, aside from the fact that they have access to the internet and a PS3. The first is their name (ID), the second is how their avatar looks and the third is the way they “speak”.
A person’s Sony on-line ID says a lot about that person, because they chose it. They may have chosen quickly or after careful consideration and that says something about them also.
For one thing, did they consider what nicknames people will make up for them? Did they misspell their ID, on purpose or not? They should probably expect a lot of comments then and most of them will probably be negative.
If they use any form of “leet speak” (replacing some letters with numbers or symbols, such as “L33T” or “s\<i11z” in their ID, they are stating or claiming a familiarity with the genre originally started by hackers.
Also, many Goth tags are used in various forms and combinations, such as vampire, wolf (for werewolf), witch, wizard, “666” etc. The user of the word “gangster” in their ID also makes a statement about themselves, especially if they spelled it “gangsta”. They should check what the Urban Dictionary has to say about that term before they use it. If they put a word such as “killer” or “sniper” in their name they are likely to be indicating their FPS gaming preference. Those people and others who add other game references such as “Lara Croft” may find people striking up conversations with them about their name. Other book, movie, song, or band references that people add to their ID’s are also stating their preference and they may meet like-minded people that way. On the other hand, if their ID is “bigfatboogernose” they shouldn’t be surprised if people don’t want to meet them at all. Females often prefer softer, more feminine references, but if the person’s ID is something overdone like “PrincessPinkFlowersHotBunnehForYou” we are not (or at least I am not) going to believe they’re a girl. Just out of curiosity why are most of the avatars with “swag” in their ID’s (such as “toomuchswagforyou”) dressed in default clothing?
Speaking of default clothing, if they are dressed in this fashion, one can assume one of four things. One, they are a newcomer to Home. Two, they don’t spend money on Home, by choice or due to their finances. Three, they are on a secondary account, perhaps to troll. Four, they are dressed that way as a joke. I guess a fifth reason could be that they really like those free clothes provided by Sony. When they speak, within a few words, you will very likely be able to decide which they are.
As in the real world, people will judge others by their choice of clothing and why not? Maybe a person can’t buy everything they want on Home, but the clothing style choices they make are a statement to the other people there. Either gender can choose to dress averagely, conservatively, sexy or outrageously weird. Home also has associative clothing. Certain styles are required by some clubs, such as the hamster head for Hamster Freedom or the large eyes, bald head and Echochrome outfit for Homelings. But, don’t goth clothing items, such as red eyes or black leather outfits and black wings, also give an impression?
As we know, the avatars themselves are extremely malleable. Once a choice is made between male and female, they can be blonde or brunette or have other hair colors, be plain or attractive, be tall or short, be skinny or fat or anything in between. Some people try to sculpt their avatar to look like themselves and some people take advantage of this malleability to make themselves look different than they do in the real world. If a person’s avatar is grossly distorted beyond human norms, it’s doubtful that they are truly trying to represent themselves. Some people do this to troll and some find it funny. Judge for yourself.
Don’t we all make assumptions about people based on their conversational style? People have called me stuck up because I type in complete sentences with capitals and punctuation, for the most part. I’ve heard people make statements about other people based on the way they speak/type, such as, “What are you? Twelve?” and you probably have also. I’ll bet you made a judgment about that second person when you read that.
In addition, who doesn’t evaluate someone who uses loads of profanity? It turns to asterisks on Home, but we can all read between the stars, so to speak. Then it’s probably a case of “I don’t want to meet or speak to that person.” Or “Hey, there’s someone who talks like I do. I want to get to know them better.”
People probably feel more comfortable having a conversation with someone who speaks the same way they do. So, if they use textspeak for instance, they will probably want to be greeted by someone who says something along the lines of, “hi hru sup?” rather than someone who says, “Hello. How are you? It’s nice to meet you.”
If the limited and mostly worthless preset speech is used by anyone except a newcomer, they shouldn’t be surprised if they are ignored or laughed at. Unfortunately, newcomers will probably be ignored or made fun of, and they will likely be surprised.
Lastly, sometimes, actions do speak louder than words. So a silent person, who dances on another’s avi, or runs in circles around them repeatedly, or kneels closely in front or back of them, actually says a lot about him or her self and it’s all bad. Of course, that’s just my judgment.
This article is not a philosophical discussion of whether we should judge others or not; I believe we all do it on some level, consciously or unconsciously. I’m just proposing some ideas on the means we have to make decisions about others on Home, with a limited amount of information about them. With the ability to pretend to be someone else on line, we have to find new ways to choose our friends and confidantes. Choose them with even more care than you would in reality.
June 5th, 2012 by Kassadee Marie | 6 comments
Home is endlessly entertaining to this California girl. Kassadee has been in Home for about four years, and loves almost everything about it (with a few notable exceptions). She spends way too much money there, and perhaps too much time... Someday she will travel the world and write about the people she meets and the places she sees.
I love the statement that we all make some judgements at first, and that’s a truth we all have to face. I do judge by the clothes and speech. They are at least a basic indicator of what the person is into. I think it is a billboard that people put up and I have a choice to read or not. Kass, continue with the good grammar and full proper english, it is a great habit to walk in. Great article and good read. Keep up the good work.
Nice article. Found it quite truthful and true of Home users in general. And of humans. And Homelings.
Have had more than a few discussions (some of them heated) on all of these subjects. Some users can be adamant that others should not judge based on an ID, text speak, or attire/items. That even a potentially offensive ID should have no bearing on impressing others, whether negatively or positively. Personally believe that one’s ID is the very first impression that one presents. And may very well be a indicator of one’s true personality… or not
On the text side -- and while we’re at it, let’s throw in the avatar’s appearance as well -- take a look at the over all appearance and the text bubbles of the nosdrugis avatar in Home. One might think that nosdrugis fancies to be an alien being. One from an alternate plane, who’s only directive is to spread Homeling glory.
But there is always more to the avatar than what they do in Home. This may work a number of ways, all of which could be either positive or negative. And humans are funny in their ways sometimes
First impressions are always important, in real life or in a virtual world. Would you go to a job interview dressed in yesterdays shorts with out washing your hair or taking a shower? I doubt it. The same is true in Home, how you act when first speaking to someone combined with your dress is their first impression of you.
So the best advice I can give new people, and do so on a regular basis, is be careful how you approach someone. Listen to their conversation if they are speaking with another and interject something useful into it if you can. If you can’t move on. I did this in the experiment that Orion, Gideon, Granny and I did for our article. I became a new male avatar with default clothing, and had no trouble meeting people and making a few friends because I wasn’t rude and I had something to say.
First impressions are important, remember that.
Nice work Kassadee, enjoyed the read.
It’s an in-built defense mechanism isn’t it? You’re programmed to judge for your own safety. You see a massive guy with a Mohican, full beard, leather jacket, biker boots, a completely peirced face with missing teeth and a “I’mma KILL you” look in their eyes and you might cross the street before passing them. But there’s nothing to say he’s not just a big cuddly bear who loves his granny and collects care bears with his daughter.
It maybe a knee-jerk reaction that often leads us astray, but just as we relay information from our eyes to our brain, we’re simply slaves to our own mechanisms and can’t help it.
I was so glad we didnt end up with our user name as our online ID. Sure dont want to be a generic “Viper”
We have a good example about the importance people give to first impression with the E3 boot and theater. Everyone bring out he(her)’s rare/neat outfit. Somes “digged”* up their past E3 rewards.