A Birthday on Home
Foreword by NorseGamer:
One of the sentiments you’ve seen sprinkled through the pages of HomeStation is a line from Lost Horizon: “Be *kind* to one another.” Home is not just a game. Home was never just a game. Home can be a place of refuge for those who are, in some way, damaged. That damage may differ from person to person — it may be emotional, spiritual, physical, mental, or something else — but the beating heart of Home is its ability to facilitate people reaching out and connecting with one another. It is a social network for gamers. And sometimes that can be more significant than anyone realizes.
——
by FEMAELSTROM, HSM team writer
I am generally a shy person, as anybody who has known me personally or through these articles has come to know. I don’t generally like to make much of a fuss about myself in any way. The good things I am — and the bad — are apparent in the way that I walk with those around me, so in that I never blow my own horn, as it were.
I tend to like to focus on those that are around me. I try to make those around me feel good and cared for. I will rarely ever seek the attention or the spotlight for myself; often I find that I turn the attention I do get onto somebody or something else. It is in this nature of mine that I have rarely ever revealed my birthday to anybody. I fear it is what I call fishing — the practice of telling people that it is my birthday to get the expected reaction of a ‘happy birthday’ from everyone.
People will, at times, ask the famous loaded questions to get the expected answers they want. “Do I look fat?” “Am I pretty / handsome?” That sort of thing. Some people may do this, and I don’t fault them; the simple fact is it has never been a practice of mine. Recently, though, I have had a dear friend labor to encourage me to enjoy the well wishes of those around me that are my friends.
I thought hard about it as again, I have never done this. And so I did, reluctantly. I simply posted on my gamer tag in the XMB, that “bday Monday yay”.
The response even surprised the neighbor's cat!
The response was something I wasn’t ready for, and it was quite overwhelming. I write this article and am deeply moved and touched by all the wonderful responses that I received. My friends came out of everywhere to just drop me a note or a picture. One person wrote out the happy birthday song. Three people sent me funny or birthday based cards by way of PSN emails. All sent their kindest and warmest wishes, and I had to write about how this impacted me so profoundly, to share with everybody just how amazing this community really can be.
I have never really revealed my birthday to too many people. This was a mandate, a mantra, a code I lived by. And I broke it to see what my dear friend was trying to convince me of and that the people here would be kind and send their best wishes. I had the thought that so many times it’s easy to get caught up in our own worlds and not see the things that mean so much to those around us. We may even get caught up in our own lives enough to not notice the gamer tags and what they say. With my hat humbly in my hands and a big bite taken out of it, I offer this: I was point-blank wrong and really glad it wasn’t a snake because that truth would have bitten me.
The people of Home care. Their warmth and compassion was overwhelming. As I sat chatting with this dear friend in the voice / video chat room outside of home (as this was also during the time right before the Home update 1.65 and the log-on troubles so many were having with the servers forced us out of Home), I saw the box in the corner of my screen telling me over and over that I had received a message. Each and everyone had a subject line that read ‘happy birthday’.
This is the real gift I found.
I am certainly not telling this story to hear another round of ‘happy birthday’ or congratulations. I’m writing this story to tell those that read it to be bold and take the chance. Let your friends be friends and do those things that friends do. I have found out that they want to do the kind and nice things. They want to wish you a happy birthday; in the case of two very special friends, they wanted to send me a closet full of clothes (thank you RiffRaff and MaeBell).
We all have friends here; we are all somebody’s friend, and those friends want to treat us like they are apt to do. For those that are shy — for those that are unsure of how much to open up and let the people around them show they care — just do it. Don’t throw caution to the wind and start handing out your Social Security number, but find your own comfort zones and let people know when things like your birthday occur; it may very well surprise and warm you to see the reaction. I know it did for me, and my 44th birthday will go down as a really great one.
In years past I have received larger and grander gifts in the economic realm, but this was so very special simply because of the outpouring of compassion that is the real hallmark of the quality community here on this little place we call Home. On a personal note to my own friends: thank you for letting me see the beautiful and kind side of Home so much more clearly and teaching me a lesson on how we can all care for each other — and a special thanks to MaeBell. She got this ball rolling and was the reason that the whole article got some life and worked to make my birthday memorable. I walk with a lot more understanding because of this experience and encourage everybody to take a chance and let your friends care. I know I was surprised and moved — deeply.
So, when’s your birthday?
May 6th, 2012 by FEMAELSTROM | 2 comments
FEMAELSTROM came to Home in June 2011 and never wanted to leave, even at weekly maintenance when he usually gets booted. The sand box environment appeals to the explorer in him and often is out and about as he ‘geeks’ out dressed like some sort of sci-fi character, while he people watches in popular public spaces. An artist and writer, FEMAELSTROM loves making friends and meeting people. He loves sci-fi and decorating Home estates and loves to respond “here” when people ask “where are you from?” in public places.
I love the way you write Strom, it is so simple and straight from the heart. I for one am glad to call you friend and it is good to hear you are starting to open up more as you delve deeper into Home and all of its complexities. This place is an endless resource of human interaction and all that that will bring, both good and bad, just like real life.
Dang it, that will teach me to read the comments before I log on.. something I don’t normally do.. so HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!! LOL, great article