The De-evolution of Home
Tsk! It’s people like this you’re inviting into Home with all your limp-wristed, touch-feely policies that give the social vermin the belief that their opinions matter. Is this really what you want, Sony? – HK-47
It all started when my Mom got a job. She works at night but I get to see her for a few hours after school before she out the door a little before 5 pm. She has a very important job as an entertainer at a place called “The Pole Land’s Gentleman’s Club.” She must be really good at what she does because every night she comes home with a hand full of dollar bills and one to three guys, all named John. They seem to like my Mom a lot and stay up all night making zoo noises.
I used to get lonely when she was gone but on my birthday last year, Mom sold the wheels off of our house and bought me a used PlayStation 3. I am the envy of the trailer park! Plus, now without wheels, I know that we will not be able to just up and move our home in the middle of the night like we did the last seven times.
I don’t have any games yet but like I said, I only have had it for almost a year. But I have found a great game that was already on it. It’s called Home. It’s so much fun! I don’t have the book that came with the game, but I figured it out very fast, after all I was tested at school and found out that I have a 55 I.Q. My mom says that’s twice as high as my Dad’s, whoever he might be. My teacher says that makes me special and I get to be in a special class with five other people that scored close to me.
Anyway, back to telling you about Home. The object of the game is to see how many people you can bother, or as they call it, “trolling” -cool huh? You can say whatever you want. And sometimes the people will say, “ignored” or “blocked” or “muted.” That means they want you to dance in their face or crouch down and sniff them. But it kind of gets boring when they do that. I like when they act mad and say rude things back to me. It is so cool to meet people that want to spend time arguing with me. People must really like me too because every where I go people want to argue back at me. I must be really good at the game!
I also figured out how you level up. Sony will send you an email telling you that your account has been banned. How cool is that! Sony writes me a lot. After you get banned you get to make a new account and start the next level. I’m on level seventeen so far. Sony doesn’t make it easy though. I can’t just come out and say what I want to or they put stars in place of my good words. So, I have to come up with ways of saying the meanest things I can without using the words Sony has blocked. Man it is fun, and people sometimes crowd around me and try to out do me. They will start saying, “I am reporting you,” which means they respect me enough to help me level up.
I also found that if you want to level up even faster, target the girls. You get more reaction from most of them and it’s funny how they act like they don’t like you sniffing them or saying sexual stuff.
I don’t play sports at school and I don’t make to many friends. But in Home people know how good I am at trolling and I know this because they pay me complements all the time by calling me a troll or noob or default. I really don’t like when they act like I’m not even there and don’t play with me or give me any attention. Some will even tell everyone around, “Don’t feed the troll!” Then it’s not very fun for me. Some people don’t get it like I do and ask me why I am doing what I do. Boy are those people dumb. I just tell the “Hey, it is a game” or “Don’t get all butt hurt.”
Some people are so clueless about what Home is about that they tell me what I am doing is wrong. If it’s wrong then why do so many of us do it and why do people pay attention to me and fight back? Duh! It’s all part of the game.
But just to make sure, I logged on to the Sony Home forum and they were playing the same game there. These players were good too! They would make these things called “threads” where they would argue about things that they didn’t like or things they say they are owed because they spend so much money on Home. It’s cool to see them playing so hard. They really have fun saying that everything is wrong and that Sony doesn’t know what they are doing. I think it’s so cool that they spend all this money and time on Home and the forum and then say how much they hate it! I hope I can play this trolling game as well as they do someday!
April 1st, 2012 by HAPPYKefka-47 | 3 comments
lulz
Loved this one! Very ingenious way to make a point. April Fools everyone!
I’m not listening. La la la…
OMG, I KNOW THAT KID!