Fixin’ to Start Fixin’
by Olivia_Allin, HSM team writer and photographer
Let me start by saying that I might not be the best person for giving advice on what we should or shouldn’t say. I live in west Texas, where we say things that make no sense.
“I’m fixin’ to go to the store.” What does that even mean?
Still, maybe it’s time for a vocabulary update for Home and online. But maybe this is something that shouldn’t be done all at once. Something that can be implemented over time. And not a complete retooling of our online vocabulary.
Some words I think should be left the same. “Troll,” for one. No need “fixin’” some that isn’t broke. But there are few words I think should be updated. This is my humble opinion and you may not agree. You may also think of some words that you would like to update, and I invite you to post them in the comments. Please include your alternative word or let me know you would like me to attempt a replacement.
The first word I would like to replace has a rather negative connotation to it. The word is “newb,” or “newbie” (and any variations on the spelling of either). From Wikipedia:
Newbie, newb, n00b or noob is a slang term for a novice or newcomer, or somebody inexperienced in any profession or activity. Contemporary use can particularly refer to a beginner or new user of computers, often concerning Internet activity, such as online gaming. It can have derogatory connotations, but is also often used for descriptive purposes only, without a value judgment.
The term’s origin is uncertain. Earliest uses probably date to late twentieth century U.S. military jargon, though possible precursor terms are much earlier. Variant forms of the noun include newby and newbee, while the related term noob (often spelt n00b) is often used in online gaming.
I’m sure most of us are familiar with this word. And I must confess I’ve used it. But I think the word has become abused and abusive. We, and everyone we know in Home, were at some point new. But “newbie” has morphed into an insult instead of just a classification. It seems to insinuate that not only is the person new to the system, but their lack of experience has somehow become an annoyance. And yes, I have seen on occasion how some newcomers can be annoying. But most of the time it’s not from their lack of experience but their willingness to experiment in destructive behavior. In my opinion, that would move them into the trolling category, not so much newbie. “Newbie” and “troll” should not be synonymous.
So now the challenge is to come up with an alternative word. At first I was going to recommend “freshman,” but that too has negative connotations in the real world as a lowly underclassmen peon. Then I thought of “fledgling,” but that sounds too much like a baby bird. So how about combining the two to form a neologism, with “freshling” or “fledgeman” instead? Or maybe for
short we called them “freshies” (or does that sound too much like a baby wipe?). Perhaps “beginnies” would work. I’m open to suggestions, and there’s lots of room for your fertile minds to run amok.
(HAPPYKefka-47 note: “plebs.” Trust me on this.)
The next word I’d like to update doesn’t really have negative connotations towards the user, but I think somewhat misrepresents the event (while there is a British slang definition that has a negative connotation). To me, “poof” or “poofing” — when one is kicked offline due to F13, D5021 or any other such incomprehensible error code — should involve the sound effect and the puff of smoke.
On the TV show Bewitched, when someone poofed, it made it “ding” sound. And on Star Trek it had the transporter sound effect and sparkly lights like looking at a Christmas tree while wearing your grandmother’s glasses after you had too much to drink (a Christmas tradition for me) . So I set forth to try to abbreviate the word “transporter” and add “ie” to it. But I really don’t think “trannie” will work. Neither would “dingie.” So my options were to come up with something completely new or at least something that made sense without having a double meaning. I humbly submit “yoink” as my replacement word for proof.
Next, let’s look at the word “spawn.” According to Wikipedia:
To spawn: spawning is the live creation of a character or item. Respawning is the recreation of an entity after its death or destruction.
To me that sounds like something fish do upstream. Or a mashup word between spit and yawn (I don’t think this is possible, so I see no reason why the mashup word should be made). Maybe, being as it is the opposite of the “yoink,” it could be called “deyoink” or “knioy” instead.
Okay, maybe not.
I don’t think I really need to invent some new word when there already is a very suitable replacement. My recommendation would be to use “tah dah” instead.
I would love to hear your input and ideas on these terms or any terms you might think need to be updated. Or let me know if I should leave well enough alone. And if you agree with me on these replacements, then beginnies that tah-dah in the near future need to be informed of the new terminology before they yoink.
Well I got my work cut out for me, so I’m fixin’ to log onto Home and start spreading the new words. If for no other reason than to confuse the beginnies. Yoink.
April 29th, 2012 by Olivia_Allin | 11 comments
Olivia_Allin is a team writer, photographer, model, curator, graphic artist, researcher and comic relief for HomeStation Magazine; she lives in Texas with her boyfriend, and Home is more than just a game to her. Years ago she discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. On weekends, to let off steam, she participate in full-contact origami. She saw a Bigfoot once, made a sound you never want to hear twice, and was so proud of her Special Olympics gold medal that she had it bronzed. She is, in her own words, adorkable.
Jest go wit the flow and speak your own talk. Maybe someone will pick up on it. Remember flappers? Neither do I but I heard about them.
Funny article with seriousness.
Oh yeah, bad used to be good and maybe it still is? I don’t know.
Your writing is both bad or good.
Great article Olivia, very funny! I can probably think of a few new ways to say these things. When people “poof” we could say “alakazam!” or “abracadabra”. Or we could say a real word like “gone”.
How about calling new people something more inviting like a combo of friend and new like “frews”. Lol!
When it comes to spawning we could use a real word like “arriving” or “entering”. But when it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter what we use or create, they will all become the same as the ones we already have in their usage. “Frews” would become the new “noob” because people will use it the same way for the same reasons. Words always become what we decide to make them mean for us, either negative or positive. This is a fun article, loved it.
Fun read. Being from the majestic (and always dull and cold) island of Britania, I tend to use the word fag a lot. See, I’m a smoker and as such we call our coffin nails fags, always have, always will. But I’m very aware of its Americano translation, so often when I tell my US friends that I’m “just nipping out for a quick fag” I get a few odd reactions. I know, the censors won’t let you type that in Home so I use a variation of it since I refuse to change my terminology. If I wanna go smoke a fag, then damnit, I will!
Funny, before I read your post I was thinking that I heard an F1 announcer say that a driver came so close to the wall that you couldn’t put a ‘fag’ wrapper in between the tire and the wall, and the American counterpart quickly chimed in that it was a ciggy wrapper in England and not to take that wrong. Oh our differences. LOL
Funny stuff, Ollie. I laughed by bottom off.
*my
Lagspeak: That bunch of gibberish you end up typing when Home freezes up for a second.
Lefty wedge pick: When you stand up accidentally by hitting the left joy joy stick.
“Lagspeak” — I like that.
We could also combo lagging and the way it makes us feel into lagony or to lagonize.
I’ve used ‘poofing’ to describe people’s sudden disappearancce, but alot of people still don’t know that term, so I have gone back to ‘kikd’ as in they have been kicked off home, though this almost makes it sound as though Sony expelled them.I only occasionally use ‘newb’ around vets here, and never call new people that just because it has now sorta become a slur. Good article, and thanks for the friendship…:)