Confessions of a Troll
by Orion_NGC1976, HSM team writer
I have thought long and hard about whether I should do this or not, but I am getting tired of living a double life and in the end I have decided the best thing to do is to come clean. Trying to keep my worlds apart is really taking a toll on me. I am having trouble sleeping at night and some of the comments from people are really making me feel like s***.
You see, it all started when a few friends got PS3s to play MW2 online. So I begged my dad for a PS3 for Christmas. He gives me anything I want just to put it in my mom’s face. She could do nothing to stop him. She is clueless about online gaming. Ha Ha.
That was Christmas before last. Since then people have learned to fear us. We are the badasses that own MW2. We talk s***, but unlike others we can back it up. Each of us have Platinum’ed MW2 as well as most other FPS’s. We are da best, B****es.
About six months after that _Demon_Spawn_ (name changed to protect my identity, not his; if they ever found out it was me, I would be dead meat) found this virtual world that was already on the PS3. All you had to do was run it. It was f***ing free. I went on and it was pretty lame. Nothing like Second Life. It claimed to have games, but they were all wussy games. I mean racing virtual dolphins. Come on! For real! Some of these people need to get a life.
Anyway, after seeing how lame the place was, we were surprised by how many people were actually going there every day. Man, they must live really boring lives, we thought. We thought we would have a bit of fun with these losers. They even spend real money for virtual clothing and s***. Why all the bother, there is enough free s*** for you to wear.
My Saving "Angel"
We started out at Central Plaza. There is never a shortage of people there. There are all sorts of people who think they are badasses there and plenty of girls. Oh the ladies are hot. Even though they are just avatars they are hot and some of the girls will get freaky on the webcam. Ooooh, yeah.
If was fun trying to push people’s buttons and watch them explode. Some really completely lose it. It is hilarious to watch the meltdown. It is downright hilarious to watch guys try to stick up for their woman. Like, what can they really do? Not a damn thing, That’s what. It is a real joke how they think they can keep me away from their woman. Can’t touch me, but I can sure violate your woman, and there is not a damn thing they can do about it. Sure, they can report me and even get me banned, but I’ve had my fun first.
It is even funner when the woman gets into it with you. Oooh wee. I love it when they try to match you jab for jab. Jeez, the mouth on some of these girls. But any reaction is good fun. Just chasing them around and not saying anything is good fun, too. A real win is when they explode and they tell you that they have blocked you. That’s when you know that you have really gotten under their skin.
When it gets boring is when they just stand there as if you weren’t there. But, no worries, there is no shortage of women on Home. Even when it is a guy pretending to be a woman, all the more ammunition for me to rag on the f***ing tranny. There is always someone who will take your bait and zing, I reel ‘em in.
But things started to change. __DemonSpawn__ got grounded by his freakin’ parents. I’m glad my dad don’t pull any of that s*** on me. Well, I was bored and decided to go on Home alone. S*** I can’t believe I said that, “Home Alone.” What am I, a freakin’ retard?
Badest Game on Home
Anyway, so, I went to get a soda while Home was loading and before I could get a chance to have some fun, this “angel” caught me off guard. No one had ever spoken to me before, being in freebie clothes an’ all. She said “hi” and asked me if I was new. I played along and was somewhat stunned. She was talking to me. I mean really talking to me as a person, not a noob, troll or what other s***y name you want to call me.
I really didn’t know what to say or do. I didn’t want to treat her like all the others on Home, playing my normal game at trying to get her riled up.
She wanted to show me around. Yeah, me. No s***. I couldn’t believe it. She not only wanted to show me around Home, but she wanted to show me her private spaces and how she had decorated each one. She was so proud of them and she wanted me to see them. To be able to see them I would have to friend her. I didn’t have any friends except my gaming buddies, but I added her.
After she gave a tour of a few of her spaces, we stopped at one of her spaces that had a fishing game and a cabin that overlooked a waterfall. We sat in some deck chairs that she had set up on the top deck and we looked out at the sunset.
It was awkward as s*** at the beginning, but she kept taking and tried to make me feel comfortable. No one had ever treated me like this on Home. I didn’t want to admit it but I really was enjoying myself. We talked until really late that night.
She wanted to see me again the next day to show me some games in Home. I was so excited to see her again that I couldn’t wait until school was over. When I got home, I realized I had a real problem. I was lucky that my friends didn’t come on Home and see where I was that first night with her. Eventually, I would get caught if I kept using this account, so I created another and sent her a friend request.
Try To Take Me Down, If You Can.
After she accepted the request, we met and she showed me some of the games. Most of them were pretty wussy, but then we went to Sodium and she showed me the Sodium tank game. OMG. That game is freaking awesome. I tell you, that Grimm dude better watch out.
During the last month, we have spent a lot of time together. She has introduced me to her friends. I like hanging out with her and her friends, but I sorta miss hanging with my gaming buddies.
They are starting to wonder why I am not gaming online with them much anymore, as I am spending more and more of my time on the other account.
She has some really cool friends. Some of her friends are what they call “glitchers.” I have seen some of the awesome stuff that they do, being able to get out in space or under water or even inside a game while it is playing. Some are members of some pretty cool groups.
I have had a great time this last month and I don’t want to ruin it. I was all wrong about Home. Home can be a really cool place with some good games. I feel bad about messin’ with people before. It was a heck of a lot of fun to push their buttons, but I have found that it is a lot more fun to be with them on Home rather than being left alone or being shunned.
April 1st, 2012 by Orion_NGC1976 | 3 comments
Father, husband, dolphy racer and sometimes Home world traveler.
Point made Orion! Great article even if it was all in fun. Like the take you took on this April Fools day idea.
Thanks for showing us the “line” in “online”.
Awesome!