Uncovering the Homeling Conspiracy
“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”
–Harlan Ellison
One of the complaints I’ve heard, from some of HomeStation’s naysayers, is that this publication is “too Homeling.”
This amuses me greatly. Of the 616 stories published to HSM, roughly sixteen of them (including this one) are in some way related to the Homeling Collective.
To quote Bill Hicks’ famous rant on the Gulf War, “Let’s go through those numbers again, because at first glance they’re a little baffling.” Six-hundred-and-sixteen HSM stories. Sixteen are Homeling. Six-hundred are not.
But, hey, when have facts ever gotten in the way?
Here’s what bugs me about this particular “criticism” — it’s stupid. And stupidity, in general, annoys me. There are plenty of reasons to dislike HSM, if one is so inclined: our adherence to a Sony-positive and Home-positive standpoint, where we opt for the more subtle route of constructive criticism instead of blindly taking up pitchforks and torches, certainly hasn’t won us any popularity contests with Home’s more disenfranchised citizenry. Our editorial standards — fairly lax by commercial standards — can insult the delicate sensitivities of some in this glorified blog culture who have never been subjected to any sort of editorial process. And, certainly, our approach as a literary journal — sort of Home’s cross between The Atlantic and Firing Line — will arouse “Just who the hell do you think you are?” furor from some, for reasons that I will not be so harsh as to speculate upon.
All of this is to be expected, and in fact encouraged. Just as some may prefer the kinetic crowd-pleasing of Arsenio Hall to a more cerebral Dick Cavett, so HomeStation isn’t everyone’s particular cup of tea. Indeed, anti-HSM sentiment has served as a wonderful unifying agent for other parties in the Home community, helping them forge closer ties than they might otherwise have enjoyed.
Now, what can be accurately observed is that HomeStation has given more detailed coverage to the Homeling Collective than, perhaps, any other Home community group. And it is perfectly legitimate to ask why.
Simple. They support us.
In order to understand this, one has to go back to the early days of HomeStation. It was a time when there were a lot of closed doors which we knocked upon without answer, whilst getting our feet under ourselves. But there were a few parties who publicly and privately lent support. AlphaZone4. HomeInformer.
And the Homelings.
(It’s a simple formula, really: support us and we’ll support you. Attack us, and we wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors. Sort of Business 101, n’est-ce pas?)
I have a particular fondness for the Homeling Collective — perhaps because they have been subjected to some of the harshest attacks, both as individuals and as a group, that I’ve ever seen. Attacks which crossed the line from the usual mudslinging into territory which was unquestionably heinous. I judge a group by the actions of its members as well as the ethos for which it claims to represent, and while they have had their missteps — as we all do — the sheer hatred of the attacks against them, and the level to which they have been taken in the past, is really beyond any acceptable level.
In the face of such adversity, the Homelings have shown remarkable resolve; they reforge themselves, time and again, into an ever more cohesive group. The opponents of the Homelings — some of whom publicly attacked this publication for its support of the Collective — failed to realize that most important lesson of social dynamics: that when a group is overtly challenged by an outside enemy, they usually pull together into a tighter, more cohesive whole.
What bugged me about some of those anti-Homeling attacks, though, was that they were — yup, you guessed it — stupid.
And here’s the problem with a stupid argument: it’s all too easy to ridicule. There are perfectly legitimate reasons to criticize the Homeling Collective, just as there are with any well-established Home group. But stupidity can have a tendency to backfire.
It is thus, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, that HSM shows some love for one of its biggest supporters — the Homelings — by properly satirizing things.
Remember…the Homelings are out to get you.
They’re out to brainwash you.
They have secret Masonic rituals and gestures.
They’re not really having fun. Look at the eyes, man. The EYES.
And you must not ever, ever trust one.
February 7th, 2012 by NorseGamer | 20 comments
NorseGamer is the product manager for LOOT Entertainment at Sony Pictures, as well as the founder and publisher of HomeStation Magazine. Born and raised in Silicon Valley, he holds a B.A. in English/Creative Writing from San Francisco State University and presently lives in Los Angeles. All opinions expressed in HSM are solely his and do not necessarily reflect the views of Sony DADC.
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i agree with you. people who start arguments are stupid and i agree with everything the Homelings are about ^_^. i actually got to meet a couple of them the other day and tell them about my fam and our goals. they said that the ideas are good, but i shouldnt have made it a fam…but thats another story. sorry to ramble. really liked this artical. Props to the Homelings for all their support
I will go on record as saying..I LOVE THE HOMELINGS and this video is cool..That music sounds oddly familiar as well….Great job NG…
yes awesome video btw
Who knew the Taelons liked bacon?
Also, this isn’t satire.
I have always thought the Homelings were a big part of Home. I remember the first video I saw about them. A very good group of intelligent people. That have things in common. Who doesn’t like Scifi? Live Long and Prosper Homeling friends.
Good Video NG!
Homelings? Bah…a no more than a myth -- a legend told by the unenlightned to the gullible in darkened corners whilst nursing a venti sized fat-free-half-caf-decaf ‘lah-tay’.
That being said: We ARE everywhere. We WILL klent you all. Then we will assimilate you -- willingly -- into the Collective. Resistance is futile. We are many. We are one. And we are freshly scented. Why wouldn’t you want to be Homeling?
That was hysterical Norse! Loved the video! I have known the Homelings and a lot of their leaders for a long time, and they are a wonderful group of people who want nothing but the best for Home and all of its environs. Being able to interview “Mother” about how they began was one of my favorite interviews, in fact he is still on my friends list.
I wish that people who attack anyone in Home for any reason would just grow up a bit and realize that life is too short to get your panties in a bunch over such nonsense. My favorite saying is “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you choose to react to it.” And that’s the truth.
Good job Norse as always.
You’re a brave boy, Jonathan Swift. The wrath of the Lilliputians will now be vented upon you, all over Home. They definitely will not see this as satire. For the rest of us, however, it was a rollicking good read.
I especially appreciated the “Are you coming to bed?” cartoon. So true…
I don’t know why peeps should make a fuss about the Homelings. While I have hardly ever seen them not have I talked to them as I best recall, I have enjoyed their posts on PS3 Home Forum. I don’t recall much of anything negative (if anything at all) said against them but maybe I’m missing something unless others are seeing and hearing things that many of the rest of hear and see at one time or another. To me they just are like others are, they are. Like we all are.
Their outfits are kinda cool. I’m not a Homeling but I wear a similar one occasionally ‘cept I use a Ghostbusters Stapuft head only I call myself the Pillsbury Doughboy on account that’s what someone referred to my outfit as when they saw me and I liked it so I kept the name.
The first time I saw a Homeling type outfit was in the short lived Star Wars Voyager (sic sick) TV series which lasted one episode. It was written by Harlan Ellison and John Williams the music guy not the writer in his only known to me dramatic script with a copyright.
The article was good but as far as this quote, “Sort of business 101, nest-ce pas?”, I don’t dig what that means. It’s above my head. Sorry. Perhaps I am ignorant but then again I don’t know who Arensio Hall and Dick Caveat are except like the rest of us they presumably are… just like the Homelings who are just like the rest of us who are decent beings.
Don’t pay any attention to me. I’m just practicing my typing. Betcha’ I messed it up again.
Homelings! Come visit Asia!
Homelings can be found everywhere, including Asia Home. There are indeed some region hoppers among us.
Homelings are expanding in membership. . .Tis not hard to find us. . .We are not all in uniform at all times. . .but. . .we are there. . .
So, about 2.6% of your articles have been Homeling-oriented. What percent of HSM articles have been dedicated to any other single Home group? Have there been as many articles about Hamsters Freedom? About Team RHO? About Home “fams” and “mafia”? Does any other group have a dedicated category, equal in weight to Reviews, Announcements and News?
I wonder if “Homelings have supported us” is the whole truth? I see that most of Homeling articles have been written by one person, who is an officer in the Collective. She’s obviously getting some status mileage out of writing these. If you didn’t have a Homeling on the team, would you be printing as many Homeling articles?
Just some questions from the other side of the screen.
As noted in the article: “Now, what can be accurately observed is that HomeStation has given more detailed coverage to the Homeling Collective than, perhaps, any other Home community group.”
Kassadee Marie recently wrote an article involving Hamster Freedom, which Eve was kind enough to retweet. CountEdmondDante wrote a profile on RHO last year, and the only thing preventing us from further coverage is that the group itself seems to have concluded. Sue wrote a heavily discussed article not that long ago about fams and mafia.
Just as some publications may have a featured columnist, so HSM has a featured column. And, yes, it is a direct reflection of the support the Homelings provided HSM in its earliest days, as well as the support they continue to offer. If there are other groups out there who wish to receive similar visibility in HomeStation, which has one of the largest audiences of any Home community media project, we are certainly open to such communication.
It’s worth noting that there are a few Homelings who have contributed to HomeStation: Seal, Keara, Johneboy, and so forth (in many cases, with non-Homeling material). On the subject of “status mileage,” SealWyf, the current Homeling columnist for HSM, is indeed a fairly prominent figure within the Collective. I personally think that has more to do with her work on the Homeling art shows than anything else, but you’d have to consult directly with the Homelings about that, as I have no information on that matter.
I believe there may be a misconceptiion about why there are slightly more Homelings articles compaired to other Home groups. I can’t speak for either group but, as both a ‘Ling and someone who has written for HSM, I have never been directed to write an article about the Collective. No one from either organization has ever tied me down to a keyboard and ordered me to write about ‘Ling-life. In fact I’ve never had a Homeling article featured in HSM.
Its not that HSM has slanted the playing field all that much, it’s that some of us Homelings like to write, and enjoy writing about something we love. As Norse pointed out, articles about many other groups have been included on the HSM front-page. But it takes someone to actually take the time, write a story, and submit it; I believe that its the lack of willingness to do so on the part of other groups which has led to the lack of articles about other groups. I highly doubt that HSM would turn away a decently written article about any group in Home (as long as that group was not a negative or disruptive force in Home) because it wasnt Homeling enough.
And, as far as SealWyf’s ‘status’ in the Collective is concerned: she is a vastly intellegent, empathic, and driven individual. She has brought much Glory to the Collective as a whole. While she writes some wonderful articles (both Homeling oriented and not) for HSM, it is the totality of her accomplishments as a Homeling which has afforded her some ‘status’. And besides, our creedo is “We are many, we are one” for a reason -- its not about the individual or thier supposed ‘status’, its all about what they add to the ever growing melting pot which is the Collective.
Anyone who messes with General Seal will have to deal with me….hehe
Loved it Norse! I was wondering what you were doing squatted on the floor like that when we were doing formations!
We tend to get some nay-sayers and haters, happens in any Community I suppose but we have many followers and those who greatly respect us as well. Can’t admit it didn’t bother me when I saw a long time forum posters tag line state something to the effect of “If you’re even suspected of being a Homeling, you will be deleted off my friends list”. What gives with that? ::Scrolls down to shrug emote::
To Jayson619: This Homeling has a Homeling Avatar in each region and will stive to wear it more often due to your comment
Since we do have many Homeling region hoppers, perhaps we shall create an event and post our visit time in the near future.
I have always been fond and curious of the Homeling collective. I have known of their existence, even before joining HSM, but never knew their name until now.
‘DON’T GIVE THEM ANY BACON!” I laughed so much at this and the pictures of ‘real world’ Homelings, too funny.
I definitely would like to see more Homeling videos and more stories.
Fantastic work Norse!
Well written and said Norse. I was very happy to help with HSM’s early beginnings. What a lot of readers may not kow is that Homelings like myself will promote even the most vicious of trolls/disgruntled former members (few as they are) so that they will focus on their new task and be glorious at it. This was the reason I decided to seperate my time with HSM back in the day. I love reading and following everything HSM does and wish more clubs would throw in some content. Homelings have always said we do not compete or “go to war” with any group or individual, and feel that the more groups get involved in outside Home content, the more successful Home will be, and therefore the more FUN we will all enjoy.
ok, had a damn good chuckle on that one, and the scene went excellent with the music (for those interested, it was the score from the eighties movie ‘the black hole’). any trekies catch the TWO actors from at least one form of star trek in there? HOOT HOOT!! excellent job, norse.