“Want To Join My Fam?”
by xx96791DEATHxx, HSM team writer & videographer
However it is, “human nature” is a potentiality. It can be known only as it has been actualized in achievement and history, and as it makes itself today.
— Perls, Hefferline, and Goodman, 1951
I like to speculate that I am who I am because I was in a “fam,” and I will tell you why.
But first, let’s shed some light on this often controversial subject. What is a fam, and what is the appeal in joining one anyways? Both are great questions, and let us start with the former first.
What is a fam? From my perspective and from the many people I have talked to about this, it seems to be a way for like-minded people to meet and share their interest. It almost becomes a badge of honor to throw up your fam tag or have your chat pop-up a certain color. In a discussion about names, I thought cthulu93 said it best-” call them fams, clubs or banana cream pies, they all basically serve the same purpose, namely as a way for people to feel like they belong to something”. Burbie 52 went on to say this, “fam, clan, club, whatever. It doesn’t matters what you call a group, it matters what you do as an entity.”
Just what is that something or interest? Fam leaders I talked with inform me they created their groups to allow people to meet each other, play games together and make Home a better place to be. Other leaders inform me they created their fam so people have a clubhouse and a place to feel welcomed and loved. They also go on to say that they have rules and such, and I – were I a member – would need to follow these. There would be meetings I would need to go to, places I cannot go to, people I must add, people I am to avoid and colors my pop up must be. They tell me they have a chain of command or some type of hierarchy structure I must follow. I am told that I can recruit new people after my probation, and if I obtain a certain number in a month, I get prize.
Does this sound to be more like work than fun? I guess it’s about how you define fun. For me – back when I was in a fam – it was both. But I still pose the question, what is the interest? Why does one need to create a fam to do any of the above? I do not need to be told who I should avoid. I created my own enemies; I’m pretty sure that I don’t need to be reminded who they are. Nor do I need to attend any more extra meetings. I really do need to have a meeting so I can organize all my weekly meetings. I actually did not play many games with my fam, for I was too busy playing the fam role in this meta-game. I did meet a lot of people, but I only really saw them when we were posting up or I when I had them over for a reprimand.
The word fam appears to have evolved into a derivative of “family,” or to some people “familia” which on Home has been shortened to what we see it as today: fam. On PlayStation Home, there are many types of activities to do to occupy a person’s time. One such activity that is not advertised is joining a fam. There really does not appear to be any relevant information on the what, how, when and where to join one. I say activity because being in a fam in itself – like any user-invented meta-game in Home – can be a great adventure to participate in. It can also be like a supermassive black hole, draining all your life energy until you break down and smash your Sodium2 Velocity racer into a wall.
Over the course of Home’s exsistence, it seems that fams have evolved into mainly two distinctive types, the Mafia and the Military style . Let us touch base upon what real-world entities these two are structuring themselves after.
The Mafia (also known as Cosa Nostra) is a criminal syndicate that emerged in the mid-nineteenth century in Sicily. It is a loose association of criminal groups that share a common organizational structure and code of conduct. Each group, known as a “family,” “clan,” or “cosa,” claims sovereignty over a territory in which it operates its rackets – usually a town or village or a neighborhood (borgata) of a larger city. While there was a time when people were reluctant to pronounce the word “Mafia” nowadays people have gone so far in the opposite direction that it has become an overused term. When I hear the word Mafia, I envision, like probably everyone else, Al Pacino in his role in The Godfather or Robert De Niro in the movie The Goodfellas.
The individuals who create a Mafia-style fam in Home today appear to want to emulate a similar power struggle – er, I meant structure. They usually will have a godfather and/or a godmother figure at the top. Typically this is the person or persons creating the fam. This is the one who has final say so over disputes and what roles some people play. Usually a don or doness (the incorrect feminine equivalent of “don” – the correct form would be “doña”) figure is next in line. I have seen it as a role that is more powerful than the godfather. These are the roles that control what is really going on in the fam.
Typically then there are other roles that follow, each different as the fam itself. Consigiliere, underboss, sergeant-at-arms and peon are all names commonly used to describe other positions of authority inside the fam. Like life itself, when you join you start at the bottom. Each fam has it’s own way in allowing you to move up in the food chain. Several appear to use the stipulation of having you go out and recruit people. Either by yourself or in a group, you are compelled to recruit. During my time as a fam member, I ate this part up. I loved recruiting and interviewing people. I gave lessons on recruiting and interviewing.
The other type of fam you typically come across is one set up in a military style. Like the mafia style, they too have an affinity for and have a rigid command structure. This one would appeal to people that have a thing for the military, as their avatars’ costuming typically will have a military theme. However, these two groups aren’t mutually exclusive. I have seen Stormtrooper fams as well as Godfathers in a military fam structure. No one has really explained to me how they differ, minus the titles people receive.
Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
Let me tell you about my own personal story of being a part of a fam, and maybe this will help answer the second question.
While I was pushing my chips all in on a pre-flop semi bluff at the EA Poker room, a friend I made a week earlier when I logged into Home for the first time starts to introduce me to some guy she had been chatting with. As the game progresses, and I lose all my chips to someone apparently “new” to the game, he asks if we are done would we like to sit and chat somewhere. He seemed charming and my friend was vouching for him, so I figured, why not?
He starts to talk about how he is in a fam and that a girl like me needs protection on Home from something called “a troll.” I had to pm my friend and ask if this guy is for real. He goes on to inform me how he belongs to a group of people that have fun together and watch out for each other. I asked a couple questions, like what is expected of me and do they serve bacon at their meetings. I was brought into the core group, and they had a lot of people. My friends list went from 1 to over 50 in an instant. They had thirteen clubhouses. I moved up the food chain very quickly and I ate all of this role playing up in heaping spoonfuls. This was a game I was excelling at. Before I knew it, I was an underboss for one of their female generals.
"Want to join our fam?"
As with a lot of fams, fate ran its course – inner turmoil, backstabbing, drama. We attempted a coup d’état, but eventually we ended up forming our own fam. Another sect formed out of the ash of that mess and we said we would be different. We were only kidding ourselves. Leftover emotions just wouldn’t go away for some people and that was our Achilles heel.
But at the same time, it was while I was in this fam that I made the friendships and connections that have lead me to where I am today in Home.
I am what I am today because I was in a fam.
Joining up in a fam is a decision you should think about before you do it. Ask yourself why do you want join. Ask yourself what do you want from it and what are you willing to do in order to stay in it. Fams are mostly perceived negatively by the nation of avatars because of the ones that go out of their way to cause trouble, or the bad apples in a fam that would otherwise choose to promote peace and harmony.
In a discussion about fams, some wise man I know wrote this, “In our day and age, we have a negative predilection towards the concept of a mass movement; it conjures up to many scary images.” This wise man also went on to say in regards to a book by Eric Hoffer that the fundamental underpinnings of nearly all mass movements – the people who create them, the people who sustain them the people who follow them, and what methods are used to achieve cohesiveness – are basically the same. It is simply a matter of what “ends” the movement strives to achieve.
How can a fam say they try to promote harmony on Home, yet go out of their way to pick fights and let their members do the same? While interviewing a fam for this article, I was told not to include certain people in this discussion, otherwise I would be hearing from them again. I ask you, does that sound like promoting harmony? I was also advised to be careful who I talked to or wrote about, otherwise people would “brick” my ps3. Really?
In the end, I can’t exactly tell you clearly one way or another as to why one would want to join a fam. The answer is as unique as the individual making the decision. Whatever activity you decide on to occupy your time, I ask that that you keep in mind that the goal is to have fun and fun with others, not to have fun with others at the expense of other people.
Here are a couple questions for the nation of avatars to answer: What do you perceive is the difference, if any, between a fam, a group, a clan, a clique or a club? What made you decide to join or not join a fam? Please feel free leave your comments below.
January 18th, 2012 by Susan | 70 comments
Susan is a team writer for HomeStation Magazine, co-founder of the award winning media group-AvatardProductions, a PlayStation MVP and a Home Guide. PSNID SCEA/xx96791DEATHxx-SCEE/oXx_EnIgMa_xXo. An avid PlayStation Home user, she is most often found setting land speed records at the Sodium 2 velocity racetracks, sitting at the Pier Park or playing with the R/C vehicles at Acorn Meadows Park.
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When I read the line about a girl like you needing “protection” I just burst out laughing. And once again I’m amazed at the number of times the True Believer is mentioned at HSM.
Anyway, I am what I am today because I was never in a fam. When I was new to Home I was on the outskirts of several fams, saw the control, the power trips, the drama, and decided I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. Since then I’ve always gone my own way, carefully choosing who I associate with, and I’ve never regretted it.
If a group has a legitimate reason for existing, like producing videos, or teaching glitching, that’s fine by me. But a group that exists just for the sake of existing is like a vacuum, and we all know how nature abhors a vacuum.
The True Believer is one of only a handful of books that actually changed my life, and given how HSM tends to study social behavior patterns in Home, it’s eerie how well Eric Hoffer’s writings can be applied to it. I’ll admit it’s fun seeing other team members picking up on Hoffer now.
That troll line is classic, isn’t it? Every time I read it, my head narrates it in Jeremy Clarkson’s voice.
@ NorseGamer- the book that changed my life and the one I drive Olivia crazy with is a book by Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I try to apply its philosophy daily and not always with success.
@ Aet-I saw it a game. just like I saw Home back then. I put the new in newb I was so fresh. That guy actually had me believing I was in danger on Home, they even assigned me bodyguards(yes,they had a division of people who did that) I was unaware of the ramifications of joining a fam back then, buy I wouldn’t change anything for I choose to believe I would not be where I am today.
I’m sorry, but I still don’t understand. What did the family do for you that makes you believe you “would not be where you are today”?
@ Kass- it wasn’t so much what the fam did but more so it was the people I met while in that fam. While in the matrix of fams, I found the Keymaker- irishtree999. She opened the door for me and I ran through it. It is possible though improbable that I might have met the same people under different circumstances. I choose to believe that the people I met enlightened me and showed me another side of Home I never new existed. I would still be back in the matrix of fams, being one of those persons that people want to hate on(not saying the hate isn’t going on)
With all do respect i have been & have lead families before…If i told Sony all that has happened because of fams in PSH huh people take it to serious “Fams” have a dark REALLY DARK history in HOME that if you believe me if you dont believe me i have witnesses to prove this immoral acts.SONY NEEDS TO GET THE MODS WORKING i have been in PSH for the last 5 years.I have never in my life seen a “MOD” my fam protects more people from harassment then any mod has done so tell me who is important the people who get on every day & protect wen its not their job OR a mod who never gets on & does nothing im sorry but that’s the truth.
@ Commander_Lex-from personal experience I can attest to the MODS existence. I agree I don’t hear about them like I used to but my behavior has changed and the circles I run with now make worrying about a MOD almost moot for me. I to have been on Home for several years and either have been a member or leader of a fam. I to have witnessed events that I thought to my self, wow, that’s going to far… I just mute,ignore and report anyone I come across violating the TOS to an extreme
Im sorry but when my nephew get a nude picture of a man (Note:His 13) & mods will do nothing MODS protect people from harassment,embarrassment,& they don’t take care of their own.mod will not hear the community out.Give power to the people that will use it for good NOT for those who have it use it for good but will not use it.Were are the mods wen a pervert man or women is sending pics to 10 year old & 14 year old?NOWHERE You want to hear real sorry that’s mi PSH ID add me ill show you
(Editor’s note: the more incendiary aspects of this post have been edited out. Bad behavior in Home can arouse strong emotional responses, and social harassment is an issue worth discussing, but let’s keep it clean and level-headed.)
@ Commander_Lex- You can message the mods on Home, I have before. I choose to believe that this kinda of harassment is something you would need to take to the Home Management Team either by email or on the Sony forums. With a vast amount of area to cover and with a limited number of people, the Mods cannot be everywhere all the time. As if I understand the TOS, there should not even be a ten year old on the Home network. I am sorry for that unfortunate occurence. Mods have to witness the infraction in order to make an assesnment. Reporting and following up with an email might be an avenue for you to explore. with a new round of HCVs out now you also might want to contact one of them in regards to these type of infractions..
I have been in PSH for 5 years now i have exactly 27 people that will say the truth of what they saw.What did they see? I “CURSED” out a so called “MOD” for protecting a pedophile…I am 5 years veteran in PSH & not 1 BAN you can take that to the bank SONY cares about its customer ? HA
(Editor’s note: The more incendiary aspects of this post have been edited out. Calm down with the caps lock and unnecessary attacks. There will be no further warnings.)
@ Commander_Lex, I choose to believe that noone is doubting the validity of what transpired that day for you. I welcome all comments to the article however I would like for it to remain on the topic at hand, and that topic is about fams and their perceptions as viewed by the Nation of Avatars. I see that you have strong convictions and those are always something I admire in an individual but again I would suggest your dispute over the MODs be taken to the Sony Forums or until someone writes an article at HSMagazine about them. Maybe you woulol ike to write one?? We have a submissions tab at the top of our web page and here is a link informing you of what is required..
http://www.hsmagazine.net/forum/general-discussion-group2/main-forum-forum2/so-you-want-to-write-for-hsm-thread208/
So because your nephew viewed something that I’ll assume he found offensive you want the power to ban people’s accounts?I’m not sure how that situation was handled by the Mods(or if it was even reported) but is that really a good reason to allow users the ability to ban other users?Or perhaps you feel the power to ban others should only be given to you and not other users?
@cthulu93- Like on the television show Caprica, they had something called V-World. By placing a piece of technology on your head you were transformed into a virtual reality world using avatars. The catch about V-World is if you die you never come back. How about something similar on here. Take it a battle arena to the death. Have an option button on the PDA allowing you to be transported to an arena. Fams could fight it out there…
If you’re asking my opinion on the idea I’d have to say that whether I was in favor of it or not would depend on the game that was offered.Actually I don’t see why multiple games of different types couldn’t be played this way but as for them deciding any issues between fams I don’t see how they’d be any more effective than,say,a game of Blk-ops used as contest between fams to decide an issue.How well the decisions would be enforced would be entirely up to the fams involved.Example:2 fams agree that whoever loses a contest will stay out of a public space,let’s say the Hub.There really is no way for the winner to enforce the decision of the contest on the loser.At best they will be able to say the loser “welched” on the bet but anyone half skilled in deception could easily spin that situation and have their fam in the Hub 2 seconds after the contest.Might be fun but wouldn’t solve any disputes unless the judgements could be enforced.Now if your talking about the loser being banned from Home if they lose then I’m pretty sure most people would make a side-account for the games in case of loss,I also don’t think Sony would participate in mass banning their cash cows.
Well, the thing is there is no option..you lose you die..period. No returning ever to that server..and ya I agree..people would make more accounts just like they do when they get banned..hmm…good point
I do believe if you expressed your opinion about the MODs on the Sony Forums you might find the relief you are seeking..http://community.us.playstation.com/search.jspa?peopleEnabled=true&userID=&containerType=&container=&spotlight=true&q=MODS
I don’t think they have enough. One thing I have noticed is that even reporting someone doesn’t seem to do anything sometimes. I mean how many times does it take to show that someone really needs to go get an xbox and taxi fare to Gamestop?
I have seen the mods do their job many times. For me though if the issue takes some personal presendence then I use the forums and contact one by PM.
Sony not going to know whats happening if we don’t tell them..
Commander Lex, I don’t think you’ve understood my remarks. If you knew Susan, you’d understand that she doesn’t need anyone to protect her. That’s why I found the comment so funny.
You read all of my comments, right? Including the part where I said, “saw the control, the power trips, the drama, and decided that I didn’t want to have anything to do with it.” Does that sound to you as if I think most fams are a positive influence?
And in a way you’re proving my point, because in the real world people pay the mafia to be protected from the mafia itself, and since you’re saying that most harassment is done by fams, the analogy is perfect. In Home, you join a fam to be protected from harassment by fams. It would be funny if it wasn’t so true.
Anyway, if you’d like to continue this discussion, please message me on the PS forums.
@ Aet- I am actually a fragile shell just waiting to break out and spew vasts amount of Awesomeness..
yeah now i feel like i do nothing in home lol sue roxs
@ medic- you all of people do not do nothing. I wish I had your mad skills on here..
As many know, where Sue (a.k.a. xx96791DEATHxx) goes there go I. It is not uncommon for people to be surprised when they see one of us and not the other. It is strange kind of when you consider we are so vastly different in our personalities. That said, I was always around during Sue’s fam days. Although I never joined, I was always welcomed in as an honorary member and often served as a counselor for the full members. I could come and go as I pleased and had no respectabilities other that not give out information that I gleaned while under their trust. I never joined for many reasons. I am neither a follower nor a leader. I am an explorer and seldom stick to any path. I saw many of the pros and cons of being in a fam. But I had the luxury of choosing what I took away from observing.
In real life my family was taken away from me when I was young. I became very independent because of this. It could have very easily been the opposite of that. I could have longed for acceptance in a group. I have seen fam members that joined because they needed acceptance. I have seen some join for structure or discipline. I have seen some join for fun, to fill holes in there lifes, to feel worth, for power and many other reasons. As Sue said the reasons for joining are as many as the people who have joined.
The fams that I encountered as a close and trusted observer were for the most part non aggressive. But I wouldn’t clam they were always peace makers either. I enjoyed many of the friendships I made while emulating Jane Goodall in a way. I was not there to study them but I couldn’t help but do so.
It has been said that Communism is perfect on paper. It isn’t till you factor in the human aspects of it that it falls apart such as greed, envy and lust just to name a few. I saw this as an interesting parallel to fams. I am not suggesting fams are Communists but that it seems that it is the human factor that is its chink in its armor.
When you have a power structure it is often shadowed by a power struggle. And ideological difference in ideas and logic can and will erode even the strongest and best laid foundations. Unlike the real life counterpart some clam a fam is based off of, a family, there is no shared blood or inherent bond like in a real life family unit. Yes there can be great love between Home fam members and I would never try to play that down. But there is something about sharing DNA that supercedes developed bonds and acquired ones. And yes even adopted or fostered families share a higher bond for the most part. As for the interpretation that fam is short for the mafia term familia, there is a big difference in getting kicked out of a Home fam and waking up in real life with a horse head in bed with you. Consequences again make a huge difference between real life and the life on Home.
Not long ago I encouraged Sue to get involved with a fam again. I enjoyed seeing her use her powerful personality to lead with a thundering velvet hand. I realize now that is was selfish of me. Whether she joined on her own accord or not, I was wanting to live vicariously through her without the personal risk. And it came at a cost. As so many times happens in Home fams it started unraveling. I had seen this before but just now while writing this I realized it almost always unravels from the top.
Fams have their place on Home. Whether or not you have a place in a fam is up to you. But as Sue and others have said, educate yourself before committing to anything. I have seen fams that soul purpose was to recruit more members and by doing so diluted the individual. I am always suspicious of organizations that emphasize recruitment as much as they do what ever mission statement they may or may not have. That’s why I never sold Amway either. Although Amway does put out some fine products.(don’t want an Amway fam to brick my ps3)
Do I know you??
excellent, just excellent sue.
Thank you Mouse. This took awhile to write as I was trying to make a point and get as much information as I could while trying to maintain an unbiased position
The difference between a “Fam” and a club to me is simple, at least when it comes to my club and many of the other ones I have seen and interviewed in Home. The difference is the way they are structured. Yes the club has a leader, like me for example, but I don’t use the ownership of a clubhouse to tell any of my members that I am their boss or any other type of overlord. Most clubs I know of have some sort of hierarchy, but we never tell others who to talk to or be friends with or to wear a certain color. I believe when you step across that line you become a fam not a club anymore.
As a club leader I try to come up with new activities and I always ask for my members opinions on things, I don’t just dictate that it is my way or the highway. There is no mandatory anything,including meeting attendance,it is meant to be fun and celebrate the individuality of the people involved, not squash it.
I believe this freedom allows us to be happier as members and also makes for a totally drama free environment like we have in the Grey Gamers
Well Burbie under your definition of club my group would be considered a club,however we don’t call ourselves a club nor do other fams view us as a club.This is why I find making distinctions between the 2 very hard and generally consider all groups on Home a fam.
I think a fam is a fam if thats what they want to be known as. Same with a group, clan, team, club, collective or even a magazine staff. To each there own. On Home you can be what you want and labels only mean something if we let them. A label is just a word that we have given our own meaning. To clump every group under one label is your choice and i understand that. Other may have reasons why they need to make a distinction between them. Neither are wrong.
As one who is a member of GG I can attest to the variety of events you hold. I always have fun when I can attend. I thought you described the differences quite well. Thank you
@ Burbie- I liked how you made a distinction between them. As a member of GG I can agree with how that club is operating.
Most fams don’t offer protection from other fams,they tend to offer protection to people that think they need it from trolls,even going to the point,at times,of having 1 of their own people on a side-account act as the troll,it’s only after a person joins a fam that they worry about other fams.Most fams idea of Harmony is the eradication of every fam on Home but theirs and having everyone join it.that whole Coup and it’s after-effects soured me on everyone in that fam to 1 degree or another so I left within a month and started the fam I’m in now which has led me to some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met,which is saying something because I’ve met alot of interesting people.Also,if any fam tells you they are”drama-free” they are lying to you,fams are basically a group of people that interact and anytime that happens drama will happen,if they were truly drama-free they’d be made out of wood or some other inanimate material,this isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it can be.Choosing to join a fam can have some far-reaching unforeseeable consequences so it’s something that shouldn’t be decided quickly or without some thought but it can also be an enriching experience so it shouldn’t be dismissed quickly either.
Again I think human nature either manufactures drama or fosters it. Some people thrive on drama and the attention they get from it. Others may not seek out drama but still induce it by their actions. And there are several more ways drama arises. Whatever the reason it still involve the human factor. Thats why when I see fams making recruiting such a big part of their purpose I wonder if they realize that it is a bit of a numbers game. The more personalities you have mixed together the greater chance of catching the drama bug.
Idk,a fam with a 1000 sheep shouldn’t be too dramatic while a fam of 30 with 5 dramatic personalities will never lack drama(see above).Personally I don’t see all drama as being bad,but when drama is needlessly manufactured it is usually being done so for reasons that most people would describe as bad.
I agree not all drama is bad… sometimes growth comes from lessons learned through drama. I doubt thought one could find 1000 sheep and wouldn’t that be a heard and not a fam…lol… or even groups of sheep to be considered a fam. You have to admit that the odds of drama increase with the number of personalities in a given group or fam or heard.
mmmmmmm mutton…
@ Olivia_Allin- what I see as a major factor in why fams go sour is because of their recruitment agenda. They merely ask you to join and follow up with a couple more. How can one assess the potential of a person in such a short time. When I conducted an interview they took upwards of 30 mins sometimes. Even today, as much as you hate it, I still look at peoples profiles before engaging in any kind of communication.
Do I know you?
I am whatever you say I am, in the news, the papers, everyday I am..lol..
Then you have proved my point about the differences really with this statement. My club has no drama, really, we don’t. There has never been an incident within our group that I know of. Yes we are older and that might have something to do with it, but although many within the club have formed stronger relationships, whatever drama that resulted from that was kept outside the club itself and didn’t effect the club at all.
Another difference is that no one is asked to recruit anyone else. I gain members naturally by word of mouth, or through other members who tell someone in the course of a conversation and they want to come. No one runs around and asks people.
But what you call your group is really irrelevant in the long run I think, it matters what your intent is, your purpose for existing.
Another thing my club and others I have been a part of and/or still am a part of that I see as different from fams is we don’t act as though every other club is something to be destroyed, and my members can belong to any other organization they choose to with no repercussions.
I don’t really understand this need for total control over other members actions, I guess I never will. We are all individuals and should be allowed to do whatever we choose within the governing laws of Home. My club has only three rules, have fun; be nice to one another; and mingle and get to know others because that is the point of the club.
@ cthulu93-well said.
From what I have seen, Fams are chaos. I have seen several people from a fam run up to a group of people talking and start blasting them, “Wanna join my fam.” The blast tactics on recruiting and then the trolling methods I have witnessed, fams seem to want to be at the center of controversy.
Now don’t get me wrong. There are some really bad clubs out there that cause drama or “wars” with other clubs. At the same time, you do have several clubs that try in their own way to make home a better place.
I have been a PS3 owner for a while and only had come onto Home a few times. I was turned off by what I saw on home. This may have been due to my age of being in my late 30’s and the fact I have been within the Emergency Services field for over 20 years. What I saw was total and utter chaos.
It was a club that happened to be in the Lucas Arts Cantina that attracted me, 11 months ago. After observing how they interacted with other Home users, I was open to joining them. They are a club based on respect. Respect for friends and fellow club members but most importantly all Home Users. They also are avidly involved in the improvement and upkeep of the Home community by dedicated efforts to provide a fun, safe, and clean environment for all home users to enjoy. The structure of the club also intrigued me. It reminded me of how the fire service is. The club also attracts currant and ex-military personal and past and present civil service workers who want to be part of something with structure.
The GE 501st is a Star Wars Stormtrooper based club. The club doesn’t go out into the community looking for trouble to police. Instead, if a TOS offense is committed in their presence, while talking to other Home users, they politely inform the violator that they have committed a TOS violation and have been reported. All the members have become good friends and many are very close like family.
Also, the Cantina is supposed to be known as the wretched hive of scum and villainy. While the US based Cantina has had its moments with he said she said drama, the UK based Cantina makes the US one look tame. Fams, hate groups, and clubs run amuck over there. The song “Anarchy in the UK” comes to mind. A fam, group, or club called Sith Bullies actively recruit fam style and have said their sole purpose is to bully a club called the Sith. Clubs, groups, and fams “war” to control the UK Cantina.
To label all clubs in the same category as fams is, in my opinion, not correct. Clubs and groups that do positive things or just are social and don’t bother anyone, shouldn’t be put down due to the actions of the fams and other negative action clubs or groups.
How do you find out what a group’s intentions truly are without joining them?Most groups will tell you they are acting in the greater good,and may even do a few things that are for the greater good,but how would you know for sure?In fact I’d assert that you won’t know a fam’s true intentions until you reach the upper ranks as many have no problem lying to even their own members.Personally I have no problem with chaos,normally it’s groups attempts at making others conform to their version of order that I have a bigger problem with.Which is why even though my group is technically a fam,our rules are basically the opposite of most fam’s.A fam of non-conformists or a non-conformist fam is the best way to describe it,but even though our rules are the opposite of most fams,at heart we are the same as any other role-playing group of individuals on Home.There are fams that do positive things and who are just social and don’t bother anyone so by your definition they’d be clubs,yet no one sees them that way.Again,how can you differentiate between a club and a fam without spending alot of time in the organizations?I don’t think you can.@Burbie52,not every fam recruits publically,also the main reason for the prohibition against members being allowed to join multiple fams is that most fam leaders believe that it’s impossible for a member to be loyal(in terms of keeping secrets) while in more than just 1 group.I’m not saying I agree with that view,and it’s another way we differ from other fams,but that’s the idea behind it.I think the key words in your statement are”that I know of”.Drama in fams tends to take two directions,the overtly obvious and the insidiously unobvious.As your unaware of any we can forget about the 1st type here,now when it comes to the second it could be that you are doing things,either consciously or not makes no difference,that diffuses the drama before it gets to a breaking point.There are many ways to do that,making sure people feel involved and listened to and giving bored people “busy-work” are just two examples.It may be more of a testament to your leadership than to your structure that you haven’t experienced any dramatic events.However let me ask a hypothetical if you will,let’s say you had a couple in your group(girl/girl,guy/girl,guy/guy makes no difference for this question) who had a bitter break-up yet both wanted to stay in your group,how would you prevent any ill-feelings between the 2 from spreading to the rest of the group and creating 2 or more cliques/camps?(I use this example because it is one of the most common and can be highly dramatic.)
@ cthulu93- As you are obviously a person with extensive knowledge on how fams work, thank you for providing your insight to the Nation of Avatars. I love non conformists…
We have actually had three couples form and/or break up in our group over the past year. They are both older of course and we have had no problem in dealing with either situation. What tends to happen is both of them either stop coming or one of them does if they can’t handle the situation. They don’t even try to have others get involved or take sides in it, though they may talk to me about the situation to let me know it exists and why they have chosen not to come anymore. I find that maturity helps in these kinds of situations. But if it came to what you are speaking of, I would simply talk to both of the parties involved, preferably together, and we would come to terms with what needed to be done accordingly.
As almost all of my meetings are held in public now because of the numbers of people involved, it would be impossible to bar anyone from attending our get togethers anyway.
I wasn’t asking the question from a barring anyone perspective,it was more about how you handle potentially dramatic situations.By 1 person leaving the group the situation was automatically defused but what can happen,especially if love turns to hate,is that each person could convince as many people in the group as possible that they are in the right and are the aggrieved party which then can lead to a division within the group.Acting maturely is ideal but in these situations emotions are high and dramatic scenes can occur.Your pro-active approach probably helps so in this case I’d attribute the lack of drama to your methods rather than your structure.In my group I make it clear from the moment someone joins that dating within the group is fine but if it goes sour I nor anyone else in the group will take sides,this foreknowledge stymies most attempts at divisions.They don’t have to like each other but they do have to be able,if necessary,to work with each other.These situations,as most dramatic situations can be,are diffused through leadership and not by structure.Also,just because the situation was diffused doesn’t mean there never was any drama,it just means that it was effectively handled which is the sign of a well run organization.Groups that are repeatedly torn apart by drama are being ineffectely led and things will need to change,in 1 fashion or another,if the group is to survive.
@ cthulu93-In the past for me, initially we did not allow married couples or people dating but that changed. rules were created to try and preempt any drama that might ensue..pfft..As for your guidelines, they appear to make sure that the fam remains harmonious.
@ xxCobraxxDestro- As a Star Wars fan I was wondering if there any 501st clubs. I searched and found a couple and at one time walked upon a regiment posting up in the mall. I am on the fence with having people or groups not authorized by the Home Management Team taking upon itself the duties of policing the community
I spent many of days and evenings at the old fight night space. There was never a shortage of barbs and attacks there. As I was trying to elude to in the article, some fams are acting like their real life counterparts by attempting to control or take over public spaces.
I am no fan of Fams. Experience says they generally get together to do someone harm. I think some people may feel secure in being lead around or being disruptive or hateful to someone who may just be trying to have fun and as this article points out, It is all about having fun. Fun, not at the cost of someone elses fun. I personally never joined one. I am an elderly avatar and I guess I’m just past all that nonsense. I enjoy the company of friends when I come on Home. Social groups in Home can be positive and promote more fun. There are those out there that would like some help promoting fun and there are those out there that would see to ruling over your fun. Thats no fun!
Where a mass movement finds the corporate pattern of family, tribe, country, et cetera, in a state of disruption and decay, it moves in and gathers the harvest. Where it finds the corporate pattern in good repair, it must attack and disrupt.”
— Eric Hoffer, The True Believer
Have FUN
@ Godzprototype- I am not anti fam but I am not a fam lover either. Alot of times fams start out as social clubs but metamorphasize into something completely different.They go from being a club to being a fam.Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Yes, I am have experienced this on Home, where something I joined morphed into something I no longer wanted to be a part of.
@ Orion-May I ask what keeps you active in that group your referring to?
Editor’s note: Your radical opinion has already occurred to others. Next time, try to contribute something to the conversation, okay?
@ lee-I don’t understand the significance of your remark..
Sue you’ve done it again. This was a informative article. Is there anything you can’t do? lol
@ lilsyder- Thank you for you kind words. If you ask some people they say I cannot drive my Lambo on GT5 to well. Also I don’t cook, that’s why I married a chef…
@Sue LOL you’re still amamzing to me! Keep up the great work Sweetie!!!
well any of your cars in GT5… and I don’t want to hear about the Prius… Sliding through the grass and over correcting causing you to shoot across the track and into my car sending me into the wall and you down the track… Fluke win!
@Susan- Yes, we are one of what seems to be many 501st clubs on Home. We have seen clubs come and we have seen clubs go. Ours has proven the test of time over the past two and a half years. We do line-ups in the Cantina or other places the club members want to visit. In the line-ups, we are talking to each other via group or club voice chats. In the past 12 months, I have made some great friends. Several are friends for life.
As I said before, we don’t go around looking for trouble to police. SONY has empowered all Home users to report violators of the TOS. When a violation is committed in our presence, we simply report the violator. I call it the “observe, report, and ignore method.” Regulars in the Cantina know that we might be silent, but we are keeping it fun for everyone.
I do ask that you take a step back and look at the difference between Fams and clubs that are well organized. Revisit this article, investigate further, and do a follow-up.
@ xxCobraxxDestro- I have done the same thing with friends around. If we notice a person who continually persist to be a violator them we go to that options. As a member of several high profile clubs and an ex member of some big families, I choose to believe I am pretty insightful in differentiating between the two. I am asking the community to share what they feel are the differences they perceive. Burbie 52 did a spectacular job in showcasing Club Incognito-http://www.hsmagazine.net/2012/01/spotlight-on-club-incognito/ as well as the Louisiana Hurricanes-http://www.hsmagazine.net/2011/09/spotlight-on-the-louisiana-hurricanes/ These clubs are well organized and continues to thrive in the community. Kassadee Marie showcased the Hammies a while back-http://www.hsmagazine.net/2011/12/spotlight-on-the-hammies-an-interview-with-negative_creep86/ As HSMagazine adopts a slightly negative position on Fams, I don’t foresee use showcasing any in the near future, but who knows…
Wow..This article is a “mini mind altering series”. Been reading comments for 3 days now. Main topic changed a couple times. But that’s cool because we’re all seeking knowledge here. // LoL @ it takes a spell just to scroll top of page to bottom. Who wrote this Masterpiece again? gj
ps: Can i give a review of a movie i just viewed? Oh nvm.. Siskel and Ebert called dibbs 1st. Or is it Ebert and Roeper? w/e.. I just saw the movie “Red Tails” @ the theatre. Not @ PSHome Community Theatre silly. It’s a true story based on the Tuskegee Airmen. Wow.. the Tuskegee Airmen ruled the clouds? The action in this movie is mind-blowing. Nice solid capture of history. An epic storyline & epic scenes throughout the film. A must see for all you lovers of war, history, drama, action etc..flicks. It gave me onion-eyes @ the end. War is an express passage to hell. Thank God for all who served & are serving our Nation today. An Awesome Movie! ★★★★★’s
Back to the “Want To Join My Fam?” by xx96791DEATHxx
@ weluv2play-Thanks for those kind words. Being in a fam was a mind altering experience in a sense. I do want to see Red Tails. I remember an older movie with Lawrence Fishburn called The Tuskegee Airman which I enjoyed immensely.
Wow. What a response. Well done Sue. Always good to have this type of discussion.
I’ve never really joined a fam, or club. I tend not to congregate with others. Even my joining HSM took quite a bit of encouragement from Burbie. I don’t like feeling like people expect my loyalty just because I’m part of the same group as they are. My loyalties lie with individuals, not organizations.
I was recruited by the reapers a while back (when they still existed) but after their “interview” I turned them down. I looked to join the 501st (star wars group) but after I discovered they are staunchly against role-playing and they try to differentiate themselves from Star Wars in general (they just use the uniforms as a way to delineate rank.) I decided not to pursue membership.
I think the only time would join a club/fam is if that club was squarely focused on a topic of some sort, and partook in that topic regularly. Like… an Evil Dead fan club! Anyone know of any?
This Conversation is very enlightening…I have my own views on this topic..but Diatribing destroys intellectual dialogue as Has been witnessed in the comments…there really is no appreciable difference between the terms “Fam” “Club” or “Group”…they each serve a purpose for individuals to feel a part of something…What is the problem is when organizations who subscribe to the Gangster Style of living cause drama by “taking out” other fams…They will go as far as posting their idiotic goings on like” Exposing” members and acting like it’s all real life…Now The intelligent members of Home society would literally laugh at them..I know I do…But my point is this …When you really start to think of a Virtual Fam as a REAL LIFE Gang..and subscribe to that way of thinking…the damage is already done to people’s lives.. and Drama always ensues which is not good for anybody…And really it is quite pathetic in nature!
A very interesting read, Sue. My experience with Fams has been on the periphery, having no desire to join one. I am not a joiner and am only a member of clubs that are very loosely structured (ie just a group of friends). However, I am sure there are positive Fams out there, what I have been told, by people who are members, were members, or who are trying to get out of a Fam, is that it wasn’t a positive one for them. Again a very balanced and well written article.
Everywhere you go in life you have the good and the bad. Every town you go to you have the good and the bad. In Home, you have people with good intentions and bad intentions. The best way to look at it is; if you want to associate with good people then you will have a positive outcome. Get involved with the wrong crowd and you will have a negitive outcome. It all comes down to what is in each persons heart and how they carry themsleves and whom they associate with. In Home we have both kinds (just like real life). Hopefully more of the good than the bad. I will continue to support Home in a positive way in anyway I can. Great article Sue!
i see a lot of people here that dont like fams because of the ones causing drama. not all fams cause drama. in fact i am a founder of a fam based on resepct for everyone, in or out of our fam. we help people in need, and we just want to have fun. we stand up for whats right on home and are trying to make a change. no harm in trying, gotta start somewhere
I have some experience with the “Fam” thing. I have seen the instigators, the “I am CEO and this is my Executive” status.
Personally I don’t care what anyone does as long as they keep it real. HOME is for having fun, making friends and has done alot of good things for alot of people.
Whenever I was in a family. I wanted only a few things.
One was to help “Home” as a complete entity and the other was to find people who wanted to be “active”.
The Noobs don’t bother me. I acutally enjoy talking to some of them.
The way I look at it is that “your going to be respected either in a suit or in a air of sweatpants” and your “not getting a speedy check out at gamestop because your a “Boss on HOME”.
i am a leader in what we used to call a “fam”. we called our selves a fam not meaning it in the mafia sense but as in a real family. i think thats the only word that can describe the bond we have grown with each other. we have a hierarchy. queen, high princess and prince, prince and princess. every one else are lords and ladies of the court. its all in fun and reflection of my and my mother’s love of those times. we also have knights that protect most of the ladies. (even though most of us do not need it, its all fun any way) we have mandatory meetings but theyre mostly to get ppl on home to plan fun things and introduce new members. we arent a multi-clubhouse. we feel that a small group is perfect so everyone knows everyone! however recently we have had to drop the label of fam because of the bad element. we may be calling ourselves a club now but we are still just as much as a family as we were when we labeled ourselves as such! I love every single one of my home family! some have come and gone. some arent able to get on due to health reasons, bad times, or career seeking. even though they arent able to get on ps home our thoughts are still with them. one saying i have always strongly believe in is from lilo and stitch. “ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind” there are many reasons why groups call themselves what they do. to me fam means family in the sense of ppl you love and care about. i care nothing for these trouble makers who give other fams a bad name.