Throwing Sand Into the Works
by Orion_NGC1976, HSM team writer
Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naïve, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as “empty,” “meaningless,” or “dishonest,” and scorn to use them. No matter how “pure” their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.
- Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love (1973)
Technology has had a great impact on redefining the world in which we live. For better and for worse, technology has had an impact on almost every facet of our daily lives. It has certainly made our lives much easier and information has never been so accessible to the greater public.
Arguably the last twenty years has brought a flood of technological advances to the consumer market. Especially with the advent and proliferation of mobile technology, one is constantly dividing their time between real life and keeping tabs on their virtual life, FaceBook, browsing the internet, texting, email, etc.
At one time, it was considered rude to not give a person your undivided attention. However, today it has become acceptable, by many, to divide their attention between those that they are with and the allure of their friends that are not physically there.
Intel did a survey study on etiquette and usage of mobile devices, Majority of U.S. Adults Wish People Practiced Better Etiquette When Using Mobile Devices, which stated that “Nine out of ten American adults claim they have seen people misuse mobile technology, and 75 percent say mobile manners are becoming worse compared to just 1 year ago [2009], according to the survey.”
Hello! I'm in a restaurant! Yeah, I can talk!
Loud cell phone talkers were among the first offenders of improper etiquette with mobile technology, which was lampooned very nicely by Dom Joly of Trigger Happy TV, which had him yelling into an over sized mobile phone. There was a time when one would step outside to take a call on their cell phone, but now it seems that talking whenever, wherever or however loud is acceptable behavior.
I was dining with my wife at a moderately nice Thai restaurant, when the guy in the booth next to us began to talk very loudly on his cell phone. I was patient and I waited for him to lower his voice, take the conversation outside, or end the call, but the call dragged on and appeared to not have an end. After my patience was exhausted, I politely asked him to take the call outside; to which he informed me to mind my own business. As I turned to return to my table to gather my things and inform the waiter that we were leaving, I noticed the pained look on his date’s face. I truly felt sorry for her as the call was taking all of his attention and she was being entirely ignored.
With all these mobile devices that are a part of our culture, children are being raised under a new set of etiquette rules. Children are not only entranced, while at home, by the TV and the game console, but they are also completely absorbed by mobile devices wherever they may be, with iPods, cell phones and mobile gaming devices that require their full attention.
Just because mobile devices are always at our fingertips does not mean that we should always reach for them. Proper respect and etiquette dictates that one should give their undivided attention to the person that is with them. This seems to be changing rapidly in today’s society due to the wide usage of mobile technology.
Taking Message in Middle of Conversation
What does all of this have to do with PS Home? Technology has advanced so far that we have created a virtual world within the real world, with PS Home. This virtual world has its own technology, with our own ways of using this technology. How do we interact in this brave new virtual world? Do we interact in the same way that we would in the real world, face-to-face with another person, or do we treat it casually like texting with someone in a chat room on the Internet? Interactions on Home are much less structured than face-to-face interactions in the flesh. As virtual environments become more prevalent and mainstream, will they, in turn, have an effect on how we interact in the non-virtual world?
“BRB” has somehow morphed from “I need to do something for a moment and I will be right back” to “So long I have found something better to do and I am not coming back, unless this new thing does not pan out.” On several occasions, I’ve had someone say “BRB” only to have him or her never return.
People even feel that they can forgo proper greetings and goodbyes, when approaching someone you do not know. I don’t know how many times someone has approached me to ask one question and when they do not receive the answer they desire, they leave without uttering another word. This is a common occurrence with club/fam/crew canvassers.
Sony has given Home users a set of conversation tools, including group chat and private messaging. Is how we use these conversation tools an extension of how we use mobile technology? Just as a cell phone user may interrupt a personal conversation to answer a phone call or reply to a text or email, people on Home may divide their attention between local chat, group chat and private messages.
I have been in the odd situation of realizing, more than once, that the friend I was talking with was also in a group chat with the person next to them, who wasn’t participating in the local chat. Many times I wouldn’t even realize that the other person was with them, until some time later.
Private Messaging Behind Someone's Back
Group chat and private messages allows one to literally talk behind someone’s back in front of their face. I had this happen once when a friend started PM-ing me about another friend that was right there. Some people have humorously been caught doing so by executing malformed PM commands.
Hiding behind the cloak of anonymity, people are allowed to be as rude as they wish without the fear of reprisal. It is shunning, banishment and loss of reputation that keeps people’s behavior restrained in the real world, but in the Internet and the virtual worlds, identities are recyclable and if one reputation is destroyed, that identity can be discarded and replaced by another identity. We see this same attitude in Home where some people are unrestrained in their rude and sometimes hateful speech and activities.
Even though an avatar has the appearance of a person, we know that it really is not the person. The person behind the avatar is somewhere else in his or her own home. Because of this disconnect of physical proximity with the person, it allows one the freedom to split their attention between the person they are with and other things without you knowing – checking mail messages, group chat, personal messages, or even doing something in their home.
The nature of the Internet and its extension, virtual worlds, brings down real world barriers that keep people in check and on good behavior. Without these checks, fear of being arrested, tarnishing their reputation, etc., anything goes. Many people on Home think it is fun to channel their “inner jerk” with no thought of any real reprisal. Will this “anything goes” behavior on the Internet and in virtual worlds lead to habits that will bleed into our real world behavior?
January 13th, 2012 by Orion_NGC1976 | 13 comments
Father, husband, dolphy racer and sometimes Home world traveler.
Orion, you couldn’t be more dead on. I truly believe this behavior is because of ” kids raising kids.” teen moms raising their children when in fact they are not fully themselves developed sociably. I truly believe a main reason we have “trolls” on HOME is because of lack of peoples parenting. Now there are people who choose to make this their pastime because, well, they lack morale fiber in their diet..
Interesting article. What you’re discussing also works in reverse.
I once was in a formal meeting with the Homelings on one screen (we have 3 PS3s) and was watching my son get trolled on the other screen. I usually don’t interfere with my son’s situations on Home, but this particular evening my son had left the console on and forgot it. He was still dancing on the bench at Central Plaza when a troll began trolling him viciously. This particular troll was a long time enemy, which made it more personal. He was “back soon” but this fueled the troll’s fire even the more. I was watching both screens, the meeting and the trolling. Some nasty remarks were made, and I finally had enough and picked up the keyboard and slammed this troll really good. It was only then I realized I had used the wrong keyboard. Ooops. One formal just meeting came to a screeching halt as I slammered to try and cover up what had just happened.
It was a story of much humor later on, but at the moment… and for the rest of the evening… It wasn’t any fun.
PS
The troll and I have made amends, but I never told him of the story. I probably should. He’d probably die laughing.
Orion again you have artfully and with great thought expressed the truth with such… opps …phone… brb
I thought Olivia, that we talked on the phone while he was here about no phone conversations while reading Orions articles…
When it comes to the Internet and parenting another thing I’d like to point out,if the parents are online with all their free time how much time can they be spending with their kids?Back before the Internet came along(I know,here comes the “back in the old days” speecg) parents spent quality time teaching their children(even if indirectly).It seems nowadays from the viewpoint of a childless person that spending quality time with children by parents is on the decline.When it comes to multiple chats I often use 2 or 3 at the same time for different reasons.Fam members get on club chat,random people get local chat,non-fam friends list people get group chat if they wish to speak privately.Very seldom do I say anything in these seperate chat lines about people in other chats,if I have something to say to or about someone I say it to their face.The main reason for the different lines is that most Fam business is private so that other Fam’s don’t hear.Friends list people only get the group chat if they want privacy.
*speech
I for one cannot handle the task of multiple chats/texts. Whenever I tried, I would get scolded by some people for not responding back fast enough to their messages or texts. As GlowingMickeyVan stated,there have been way to many instances when I find myself texting in the wrong chat. I almost never go into a text chat while in Home unless it is something that cannot wait. I almost never do that while in the presence of other people. Like I said, I just don’t have that skill. The other day I was chilling at Sullys’ Bar. Noone was really talking but some guy kept saying- brb, messsge. Even though it was courtious to say, I found myself saying ” dude, enough already, only you care!”
It’s not that hard really,just put 1 chat line on voice chat and if necessary take turns with a keyboard for the other 2.It requires some speed but having a mic and a keyboard helps quite alot.Usually I’ll put the group chat on mic and switch between club chat and local chat with the keyboard.I usually don’t need to “brb” anyone as the local chats are usually kind of slow anyways as most randoms don’t have a keyboard but if I ever do “brb” anyone it’s always the randoms 1st as I believe I have less of an obligation to randoms than to friends when it comes to attentiveness.If there isn’t much going on the group chat I can switch the mic to another chat.When it comes to typing I’m fairly decent considering I never did much of it before I found Home but compared to a friend of mine that does Data entry for a living I’m a novice.She can easily handle 3 chats with a keyboard alone,I guess it just takes alot of practice with a keyboard or having a good mic to be able to use multiple chat lines without offending anyone.
I believe many people on Home are guilty of this kind of behavior. I always tell someone I am speaking to if I have to answer a message and I wait til a lull in the conversation to do so, I don’t cut them off unless the message is a real cry for help or something, then I might. I agree that we need to be polite in Home just as we would in real life, but unfortunately this is true for everyone.
This is an excellent article. Being sociable for me means being polite and having manners. Traveling the world and experiencing different cultures demands this. The disconnect between R/L and and a persons avatar shouldn’t be too far from the way a person would conduct themselves in the world if they were experiencing a new country or a totally different continent. Respecting new people and new avatars in a virtual setting is no different. Lines of communication are different and to pay attention and to be personable as an avatar in a virtual setting is the honorable thing to do.
Well said..
Great article Orion. You touched on some very real problems in Home. I used to have a friend (still on my list but we don’t speak anymore) that would stop chatting with the group they were with and disappear for 30-45 minutes at a time to answer messages and private chat with someone else. It was very annoying and it seemed like they were taking advantage of the people they were with.
That being said. I think the virtual world SHOULD have different communication norms than the real world. If a person can successfully pay attention to public, PMs, and group chat at the same time then why should we think ill of them for doing so. The problem is when people stretch themselves too thin and end up ignoring one of their communication pathways. If a person can’t switch between them on the fly, and they need to stop talking to one friend to talk to another, then they need to be realistic about their lack of multitasking skills and pay attention to whomever they are “actually” with.
I guess it comes down to intent. If a person is speaking with you, are they talking to you so that THEY feel like they are important and have a friend or are they speaking with you because they find you interesting and care about you? If the person is disappearing for lengths at a time… it’s likely their motivation is the former reason and they really couldn’t care less about you.
Thanks for the kind words and I agree with the comments that have been made here. There nothing that is inherently wrong with participating in multiple chats as long as the people are aware and don’t feel like they are being ignored.