The Infamous My Little Pony
by NorseGamer, HSM Editor-in-Chief
Ah, yes. The Sony forum.
Raise your hand if you think it’s far too lenient an environment.
Most of the people on that forum are quite lovely. It can be a rowdy environment, sure, but some good stuff comes of it. The problem, however, is that known trolls are allowed to remain there, because Sony errs on the side of leniency rather than crowd control. And the problem is that that leniency is abused, which creates an environment in which more reasoned commentary simply doesn’t show up, because people don’t want to deal with the nonsense.
Oh, I’m sure those trolls would have a thing or two to say about that here. Except they can’t. Because we banned them.
There’s a prevailing belief at HomeStation that if you want your opinion to be heard, you should probably have an opinion worth listening to. That means, if you want to criticize Sony’s business practices on the forum — because yes, they’re watching — then you stand a far greater chance of getting something through if you can demonstrate logical, critical thinking instead of immature, knee-jerk invective.
Almost exactly one year ago, we received an anonymous letter regarding this forum behavior which had us on the floor laughing. It’s probably the best comeuppance I’ve ever read. And it’s just as timely today as it was then — perhaps even moreso, because the Sony forum now is the most balkanized I’ve ever seen it, with simmering resentments and passive-aggressive trolling to stay just under the radar.
But what makes this really funny, and why we’re republishing it a year later: the anonymous letter made reference to My Little Pony in Home.
Fast-forward to today, and I’ll be damned if it didn’t happen!
By now you’ve read the Lockwood announcement regarding their new pony lineup for PlayStation Home. How freaking cool is that? Not only did the trolls get punked, but we’re about to have ponies in Home! It’s the perfect dot on the exclamation point.
We do get a fair amount of reader mail these days, and while we don’t normally publish anonymous letters, this was the best caustic wit I’ve read since Patton Oswalt wrote under the “Neill Cumpston” pseudonym.
Little ponies in Home. Talk about an epic win for the good guys. We’re still laughing.
_______
Hello, HomeStation Magazine.
In the Sony forum, some people are whining about Home and writing letters about their leaving as if it is part of some mass exodus, and they are Moses. The truth is that people are in Home because they want to be. There are no slaves tied to posts in Home, like in the Second Life adult area.
Allow me to demonstrate what sort of nonsense is present in the forum by attempting to emulate the general tone and theme of several posts:
Yeah. I am tired of dressing up, visiting new places, decorating new apartments, getting new items, playing new games, meeting new people, interacting with the same old people, I mean, what else is there to do in Home? KillZone? I am sure that will be a dud.
What Home really needs is more “My Little Pony” clothes and furniture. I mean, I know. If I were in charge, you would see. I am personally tapped into what people want. I mean, I like every one of my ideas. My friends on Home don’t, but they are not the ones gifted with knowing like me. You would see.
Let’s see. They said that 17 million people are in Home. I will estimate (low I think) that each person spends twenty dollars a week like me. I am sure everyone in Home has more money than me, so they spend more. That is $340 million a week. Or about $1.6 billion a year. I would take that money and make sure people got Home logo shirts with more colors than just blue. I mean after 2 years they have $3.2 billion and only blue logo shirts?
The next first thing I would do would be to fire everyone and shut Home down. That is the best way to make it better. Then I would let everyone return all the items they bought. That would be easy because Sony sells really expensive TVs. They sell one TV and they could pay me back. I am sure they sell at least 17 million TVs in a year, so it would work. I know.
Then I would hire all new people and have the new Home up and running in a month. I would have a big event where I would reveal the new “My Little Pony” space. Everything else would look exactly like it did before, but with no lag. That is because I took the other money and fixed the Internet. I am sure fixing the Internet isn’t that hard or expensive. They say it is impossible, but they never had me as a boss. I mean, my way or the highway. Put up or shut up. Do it or don’t.
I know Home’s potential. If only they would listen to me. Well I gotta go. My Mom is calling and I have to finish my homework. Just listen to me – “make.believe in me”.
Signed,
WillOneDaySpellCorrectly
(insert ridiculous and annoying signature graphic here, probably with lots of exclamation marks)
Look. The people developers want to hear from are people who are staying and contributing ideas.
For everyone else, I recommend those lights that replicate sun rays to remove your winter doldrums. I guarantee you will be glad in June that your words are not burned into the forums saying you will never return just as you earn double ‘0’ status in Conspiracy.
Please post this only if you do it anonymously and you want to. 
_______
Now then: like I said earlier, there’s quite a lot of good, reasoned and mature criticism on the Sony forum. Some really excellent insights have been brought up, which I believe Sony is listening to. I have no wish to detract from those individuals who have invested a lot of time and thought into their words, because frankly much of what they’ve had to say is legitimate.
It should be thus noted that this letter, in my view, doesn’t poke fun at those people at all; rather, it takes a humorous jab at the somewhat less mature and more outrageous hyperbole that floats around the forum from time to time. The sort of nonsense caviling that frankly takes away from the serious and insightful criticism of more balanced voices in the forum.
So, with all of that said: thank you, kind reader, for your letter. It was a great laugh!
January 11th, 2012 by NorseGamer | 32 comments
NorseGamer is the product manager for LOOT Entertainment at Sony Pictures, as well as the founder and publisher of HomeStation Magazine. Born and raised in Silicon Valley, he holds a B.A. in English/Creative Writing from San Francisco State University and presently lives in Los Angeles. All opinions expressed in HSM are solely his and do not necessarily reflect the views of Sony DADC.
LinkedIn
Twitter
Oh. Em. Gee. Pwnies! If this ever gets implemented, I want all the ladies to have this in their Home wardrobes: http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/womens/c145/
If we have a “My Little Ponies” Space AND a server farm with no lag, then we guys need a He-Man space — possibly a to-scale Castle Greyskull — just to even it out. Make is supermega-badass too; lightning, light up swords, and instant transformations!
It has really been ridiculous how people have been acting. Someone’s gotta have a massive bladder to piss in all those Cheerios.
Oh huzzah, it got published
Enjoyed that read greatly
I fully realize this letter was a joke but the math is wrong,340 million times 52 is 17 billion 680 million by my calculations,so forget my little pony im looking 4 the good ship lollipop.Seriously though,r there really ppl that think home was better a year ago?A year ago was just around the time i 1st hooked my ps3 up 2 the interwebs and discovered home and i can honestly say in my experience that the total home experience,4 me,is getting better.Sure some of the games r a little childish but not every1 is 34,they r trying 2 appeal 2 as many ppl as possible,standard business practice,a year ago i only played poker nothing else,now the # of games i play is considerably higher but of shorter duration,read higher turn over rate,so from a business standpoint this makes sense but sony does need 2 realize is that im not coming on home 4 the games,just filler 2 me,but 2 meet friends and new ppl.With all that cash maybe we can get the other 20 min. of 3 stooges footage each episode seems 2 b short of as well,i know times r tough but i think this can be done,lol.
Am I the only person who read the caption on the picture of the t-shirt with Che Guevara’s face on it? Did you add that ‘illustration’, Norse?
He-he-he whats next?Napolean was a man of peace and Lois XIV was a man of the common ppl?
Rightio, Cubes -- and duBarry was a lady… and Catherine the Great was the originator of the ‘My Little Pony” stories.
I suspect this is one article that won’t get cut and pasted into the Forum! Even you don’t have that kind of chutzpah, Norse.
Actually, I kinda did reference the anonymous letter in my most recent Sony forum post: http://community.us.playstation.com/thread/3401713?start=0&tstart=0 (complete with My Little Pony mention).
As for the illustrations in this article…the editor pleads the Fifth.
<3
Actually, I think a “My Little Pony” item could work, if it were created by the right party. Which would NOT be Hasbro. So they would have to change the name to something the lawyers couldn’t object to. But we would all know what was being mocked.
So… you buy your basic HomePony, which follows you around as a virtual pet. (ka-ching!) You buy options to set its body and hair color and hair style. (ka-ching! ka-ching!) Then you buy accessories for it — tattoos, piercings, devil horns, black leather harnesses with spikes on them. (ka-ching! ka-ching! ka-ching!) You get the picture. More monetization, and a new way to assert your unique individuality in Home.
Add the themed Personal Space, HomePony furniture, and matching outfits for your avatars, and it could be a major win for the accounting department.
Hmmm. Hope nobody from Sony is reading this. I kind of want one…
I want a unicorn that shoots double rainbows (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI)all over the place if we’re making demands.
My stomach hurts from laughing so hard!
You forgot the mini-game for that space: Pony cart races! Just buy the optional Pony cart (major ka-ching).
If we have to train them every day, my Pony will loathe me.
Your forgetting a couple of very important add-ons,for just $0.99 u can get flies 4 your pony and 4 just $0.49,1 WEEK ONLY,u should b able 2 get a big ribbon 4 your ponies hair.(I say should cause u dont always get what u pay for.)
Don’t forget the additional different sparkly symbols you can get for your Pony’s butt (just $.25!), two-tone mane and tail options ($.49), *and* castle-cum-stable for your pony ($5.25!).
— Former owner of the 1980s My Little Pony Figures. (Why are you all looking at me like that?)
Ooooo Terra I had plenty of My Little Pony Figures. If I was to go up in my Grandmother’s attic right now Im sure I would find the Icecream Parlor, all the brushes, etc.
Good god, cyn, our lives parallel so much it’s *scary*.
(ever go see the movie in the theater? I did)
By the way, since that letter was obviously written by a developer who was disgruntled over attacks made on his latest product by Forumers, I suggest he take his My Little Pony idea and actually explore it. After all,if you can animate a tiger, I bet you could do the same with a pink pony.
OMG, in this week’s update, there is a miniature pony being sold in the Exclusives section! (but it isn’t pink…sobbing …. will they ever take me seriously….)
I feel your pain,no good ship lollipop personal space yet either.
Hey if they are going to add a new space how about a farm to put all those new animated animals in? Or maybe a castle that you can actually decorate (unlike wizards den where it gives you very little space to use). With the castle they could add some more long dresses and have some new knights in shining armor for the guys
I think a lot of ppl would buy both the farm and the castle, don’t you?
I think the castle would be a good candidate for the next modular space. Grand hall, towers, barracks, stables, kitchens, courtyard… I could go for that!
And a village idiot companion complete with potbelly and ridiculous laugh.
I like the virtual farm idea! Think Farmville but in Home. You could raise animals and grow crops. It would be a more intense version of the Dolphy space. Instead of races there would be county fairs and whose hefer is the best and… OK I gotta shut up now…
I love it! Sign me up for a farm.
Furniture with animation (which the animals are) make them active items. So there is a limit of two per space. I haven’t been in a barn recently, but two sounds low.
I think the castle is a great idea. I would love to wear around some plate armor.
Sign me up 4 the castle and the twisted metal apt. i hear is coming.No series does automotive mayhem as good as Twisted Metal.
hello everyone, First time poster and looking forward to being a part of the threaded!
OMG Home is Da bomb i love home i am a big part of home whoever wrote that long crazy post about home needing to go away needs serious help. Be positive these are people who enjoy and love home and proud to be a part of it. Im proudly addicted to the fashion, the malls the games the friend interactions, the decorating the shopping racing my dolphins,dancing to all the cool music, being a part of amazing clubs and bunch more. Home should stay FOREVER!!!!!
—-Love A Huge Home Fan——
I see the satire was successful.
After reading this reminds me i have to listen the podcasts! I needed a good laugh like that! Thanks Norse!