T’was the Night Before Festivus
T’was the night before Festivus, when all through PSN
Not a creature was stirring, not even young men.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Sony soon would be there.
The noobs were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Star Wars danced in their heads.
Terra in her nightie, and Norse in his jammu’s,
Had just settled their brains for a long winter’s snooze.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clash
He sprang from the bed to take a look at the crash.
Away to the window he flew like a winner,
Tore open the shutters to check on the sinner.
The moon on the crest of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of Winter Hullabaloo to objects below.
When, what to his wondering eyes should assault,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny default.
With a little old driver, so airy and tony,
He knew in a moment it must be St Sony.
More rapid than cheetahs his updates they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
“On Original Hub! Now, Home! Wow! There’s a lot to remember!
On, Closed Beta! On, Open Beta! On 1.4 April! and 1.6 December!
“To the top of the heap! Be sure not to fall!”
“We’ll overcome! We’re the best! Better than all!”
As dry humor that before the wild trolls fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the Ferris Wheel the defaults they flew,
With a mouth full of one liners, and a Hi, Sexy too.
And then, in a twinkling, Norse heard on the roof
The dancing and pawing of every troll’s hoof.
As He drew in his head, and was turning to see,
Down the chimney St Sony came as fast as a flea.
He was dressed all in Lockwood, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all shiny and had stylish input.
A bundle of Loot toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like an nDreams peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they glowed! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like apples, his nose like a cherry!
His happy little mouth was wide open in a smile.
And Norse hoped he would stay for quite awhile.
The stump of a troll he held tight in his teeth,
While rude defaults he kept underneath.
He had a happy face and a large 3D telly,
And when he laughed, it was deep from his belly!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And Norse laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself!
A wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Gave him to know that it was soon time for bed.
He spoke not a word, but went straight the podium,
And filled all the stockings, with things from Sodium
And Konami, Billabong and also VeeMee.
And giving a nod, he said, “You’ll soon see me!”
He sprang to his sleigh, to his Side Kicks gave a shout,
And away they all flew like water from a spout.
But Norse heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Festivus to all, and to all a good-night!”
December 25th, 2011 by Kassadee Marie | 8 comments
Home is endlessly entertaining to this California girl. Kassadee has been in Home for about four years, and loves almost everything about it (with a few notable exceptions). She spends way too much money there, and perhaps too much time... Someday she will travel the world and write about the people she meets and the places she sees.
Bravo!
Very funny Kassadee. I did the same thing when I was about twelve to “The Night Before Christmas” only mine was all in beatnik language. Poetry is such fun to play with isn’t it? Just what I needed to start my Christmas morning.
Very clever. I enjoyed it.
Awesome! I love a good re-verse since I am incapable of writing my own limericks.
Well done Kassadee! Home needs more of this sort of creative expression.
You are all very kind. Thank you!
Not even Dickens could have done such an entertaining poem
This was one of the best interpretations of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” that I have ever read. Keep up the good work Kassadee, you blow me away with every new story you publish.