Mistakes I Have Made In Home
by Kassadee Marie, HSM guest contributor
In my time in Home, which has been a bit over a year now, I have enjoyed many aspects of this virtual life — but I have made some mistakes. Who hasn’t? Some were small, and one was not so small. Home is a slice of life and life is imperfect, as we all are.
I’m going to share my mistakes – at least some of them – in case this might help someone to avoid one or a few of the ones I’ve made.
Caring about things said to me – In this case, I am referring to things that strangers have said to me. When I first starting visiting Home and I was approached by people, I naively expected them to have a normal reason for approaching me. And a lot of people did have a good and normal reason. I was happy to respond to a “Hi!” or tell someone where I’m from or where I bought an item of apparel.
But very soon I found (or was found by) those trolls who approach people to upset them or cause them psychological pain. Through gestures or remarks, this type of person is looking for a response and I made the mistake of giving it to them. Negative attention is, after all, some kind of attention, which leads me to my second mistake:
Running/not reporting – After seeing some of the shocking things people were willing to say and do in public, my first response was to run away. I would leave the area I was in, and if they followed me I was frightened into leaving the space. At that point I would be unable to report them. Now I very happily report and ignore.
Clubs – Now, not all clubs are bad. The basic idea of a club in Home is a great one. The mistake that I made was joining the first one that asked me without investigating it.
Unfortunately, the idea of a group of people with like interests meeting and enjoying conversation or games has been warped and twisted often into mafia-style “families.” And unfortunately, these families often “go to war” with one another. If you join one of these families, you don’t just make a new group of friends, but in some cases, whole groups of enemies – enemies that you don’t even know why you’re fighting, nor they you. Even non mafia-families and clubs may have rules, requirements or social aspects that you don’t care for. Personally, I want to change my pop-up color to match my outfit, not have the same one all the time!
Shopping mistakes – I love to shop in Home, but the money I have wasted could probably bankroll a third-world family! Let’s break this one down into a sub-list, shall we?
- Clothes: Yes, you can preview clothes in the stores before you buy – which you should always do – but you can’t try clothes from different stores on at the same time. I have pants that clip with boots, tops that clip with skirts and colors that I thought would match, but don’t! Not to mentioned that totes pink outfit -what was I thinking? Anyway, nowadays I usually stick with the outfits that the designers put together and occasionally find happy matches in my wardrobe.
- Spaces: Before I had a lot of friends with many different spaces or I knew about the YouTube tours, I bought a few spaces that I’m not all that thrilled with. They are right for someone, I’m sure, just not me. People have different interest and enjoy different things. That’s why there are different styles, after all. I seldom visit these spaces and actually wish there was a way to give them away.
- Games: Yes, I have been talked into buying some of the games in Home. I have found that before long your friends don’t want to go and if you go alone – well, you are alone. Anyone else out there love pie, by the way?
Not taking notes – On my first few visits to Home, I didn’t make any friends. Not – you understand – that I didn’t receive random friend requests. It was that I wasn’t sure I was going to come back at all, much less spend much time there.
When I finally accepted a few friend requests and spent time getting to know these people, I thought I would remember all their details. The reality was that I wouldn’t see people for days – or weeks – at a time, which faded my memory. And the more people I met, the more the details blended together. Does that funny ID belong to John from Ohio who likes anime, or was that William from Tennessee who likes hockey? I don’t think my friend list has ever been larger than sixty people, but that’s a lot of info! Please forgive me if I don’t remember your details; you probably forgot mine, too!
"Umm... Who are you again?"
Friends – On the subject of the friends list, I am amazed at people who want the ability to have more than 100 friends on their lists. I try to keep mine around 40-45 individuals, and I still can’t keep track of people. Did I meet Sarah at Seaside or Aurora? Shoot! Still not taking notes!
Love – And so, we come to it: my biggest mistake. Home is a great place, and I’m glad I’ve met so many people that I would never have met any other way. I’ve met some of my best friends here and we are really close. How I missed them during the days of the black out!
But once I took it (or perhaps I was taken) to another degree, and I fell in love. I thought I knew him and he knew me. We spent so much time together and we talked about everything. We had this connection, didn’t we? We both lived in California, and he was going to come and visit me some day very soon.
There’s a thousand ways this could have ended, and you can imagine a lot of them. All I will say is that it ended very badly. Relationships are hard enough face to face; the Internet adds a dimension that is nearly insurmountable.
Granted, these are my experiences; you may find that your experiences differ from mine, and that’s okay. That’s the beauty of being an individual. I don’t make choices for other people. I only warn you to beware.
September 27th, 2011 by Kassadee Marie | 7 comments
Home is endlessly entertaining to this California girl. Kassadee has been in Home for about four years, and loves almost everything about it (with a few notable exceptions). She spends way too much money there, and perhaps too much time... Someday she will travel the world and write about the people she meets and the places she sees.
Home is an extension of the world around us. As in the real world we grow and learn from our life experiences, we do the same in the virtual world. Thank you for sharing your life experiences in Home.
I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong about this, but I believe you can mix and match clothes from the One Stop Shop at the Central Plaza kiosk. That’s a great way to see how things will look together.
Excellent article.
Wow! Kassadee, this is an article I wish I had written. Congratulations. Truly excellent.
When I go into the stores every update, what I do is go shopping in the comfort of my Harbour apartment. This way after I look at what is new and decide what might interest me, I can change clothing accordingly and see what works and what doesn’t. This way I have no buyer remorse on clothing. I also wait when it comes to pets to see them with someone else, and do the same with personal spaces. I am very picky about what I buy, so I am careful how I go about it.
We have all made mistakes when it comes to dealing with people in Home. But that can be said in real life as well. Humans beings aren’t perfect and never will be, so you need to take them at face value, warts and all and accept them or not as you get to know them.
As for love, though it is a hard thing to deal with in a virtual society, I still believe that Home is a place where real and virtual blend and there are many who have found love here and made it work. Physical distance is the harder thing to conquer I think, unless you get lucky and fall for someone who lives close to you. I am sorry to hear that though you had that luck it didn’t work out for you.
Good article Kassadee.
Thank you all for your kind words. I’m so proud to be a small part of this e-magazine.
This made me think about my own experiences on Home. I have lots of good memories and I’ve met some pretty awesome people, but of course with the good comes the bad. I’ve made new friends, lost old ones and met my best friend there so I can’t complain too much about that. Now the mistakes I’ve made as far as clothes and personal spaces go…that’s a different story lol. I have my regrets about things just like everyone else, but it’s definitely been worth the time I’ve spent there. It’s too bad we can’t go back and do things differently, but Home is just like life. You live and you learn.
Excellent article!
P.S. I happen to be a hockey fan from Tennessee =)
Everyone likes to reduce HOME to just a bunch of avatars, but behind those cartoons are people and their alter egos. This article illustrates and gives an honest overview, such a gifted writer… if she could only improve her pool shooting !!!