by KatCall75, HSM guest contributor

People seem to have two main problems with Home – finding friends. Yeah, that’s just one, but the other is finding people to game with — and isn’t that really the same thing? With one usually comes the other; eventually two people that hang out enough will come up with the brilliant concept that they could also be gaming together, and poof, someone buys a game the other has.

A big misconception of Home is that it’s this quick and easy place to find a like-minded gamer. This isn’t true at all, unless you’re very lucky. To understand what it takes to find a good gaming buddy, one must first accept that good gaming buddies aren’t pre-packaged. It takes time to truly get in sync with a person, and Home offers that.

If a person just wanted someone to game with, then why don’t they simply launch an online game? Why bother with Home at all?  And when they give Home a try, why do they complain so fervantly about not finding someone after – obviously – many attempts at simple online gaming haven’t given them what is was they are looking for? Well, what are they looking for? The exact same thing we all want – a friend.

Someone who is cool, funny, nice, and awesome to game with. Someone whose name pops up online and it makes you think, “All right!” Someone you can chat with, hang out with, and just…you know, be with. A person that accepts you, thinks your jokes are funny, and thinks your gaming sucks just slightly more than theirs. Someone you can talk with – about gaming, about school, about life — and they are interested. Someone whom you want to be there for, and you know they’re there for you. Someone who gives a crap.

I’m not going to tell you that it’s easy to find one in Home, but they are there. You’ll probably meet many people, and spend a lot of time getting to know them before you find that perfect fit. It will be frustrating at times; there will be moments when you’re wondering where all these crazy people are coming from, and maybe it’s you that’s the crazy one. There’s nothing crazy about wanting a friend. In fact, there’s little that’s more healthy.

Okay. Now that I’m done with my pep talk, let’s get down to some tactics conducive to productively meeting people in Home:

Invest in a Keyboard

I can not stress this enough. If you plan on spending any significant amount of time in Home, spending some money on a keyboard will be the best Home-related money you could spend. Not only does it make talking in Home so much easier and efficient, but you’ll notice people being much nicer to you when they don’t have to wait so long every time you say something. People will want to talk to you more.

Once you have a keyboard, stay away from the auto-talk options. Avoid these like the plague, because they give the impression that you could really care less.

Be Courteous

When you first meet someone, a simple “please” and “thanks” goes a long way. If you greet someone and they don’t immediately respond, don’t start spamming them. Chances are they are busy doing something and just can’t get to you, or may not even be in front of their TV at all.

Be patient. Say hello, hang out, and give them a few moments. If nothing, then just look elsewhere. Ask before you send the friend invite, and never question if the person says “no.”

Even if a friendship isn’t in the books for you two, this way you at least keep your dignity and there won’t be any awkward feelings when you run into this person again.

Stay Away from Groups & Gangs

Being that it takes time to make friends, most gatherings of Home users you see are either people that have all the friends they want, or it’s simply a gang of users who have joined together for a short time to “look down” on everyone else.

The saddest thing about the latter is that those are usually some of the loneliest people in Home, who think if they look cool enough for a long enough period of time that someone might be their friend. Either way, a group of people usually won’t be good for you if you’re looking for friendship.

Your best bet is to find someone by themselves. Also, if friendship is what you want, it might be a good idea to stay away from clubs that emphasise recruiting numbers. You’re not interested in knowing a lot of people; you want to know someone, right? Give me one good friend over “people collecting” any day.

Home is Not a Dating Site

I’m not saying love has never blossomed from Home, and I’m not saying that it’s not possible; I’m just saying that you should never begin a friendship with the intention of love. Friendships are hard enough to find, so let’s just set love on the back-burner here. Even if you’ve no desire to meet that special someone in Home, you should still try to not give that impression. Try to not ask someone their age, location, or other personal info questions upon first meeting them.

Remember – you’re interested in finding someone cool to be online friends with, so what difference do these things make? Asking them gives the impression you’re interested in more than just being cool with someone, and that can be a bit more than some can handle.

Sometimes the Best Places are the Least Used

A big mistake I made when first in Home was spending lots of frustrated hours in areas like Central Plaza. Now, I’ve met some great people there, but some of the better odds I found of meeting people wanting to chat was from areas no one really goes to. It seems when there’s not many people around, people tend to be much nicer and open to conversation. Even if you’re in a high-traffic area, if you see someone sitting away from people by themselves, this is usually a sign that they are open to chat. Why else come to Home?

If they get rude, just walk away. While most people have issues, these people have subscriptions.

Noobs are People Too

Giving a noob a shot at friendship can sometimes feel pointless. They tend to be rather awkward with chatting, and even if you put the time into warming them up, there’s a chance you’ll simply never see them again. We were all noobs once (I still am);  just try to imagine how cool Home would’ve been those first few days if someone was just, well, nice to you. I think we’d see a much higher return rate of noobs if we tried to show them a bit more patience.

Don’t Take it Personally

You’ll meet lots of people that will introduce themselves by making fun of you or just saying something rude. Try your best to shrug it off, look at what they said as a joke, and try to continue the joke. Imagine this person is already a close friend, and that saying things like that doesn’t mean anything; it’s just two friends poking each other as friends do.

By doing this, you’ll acomplish showing this person that you have a sense of humor, you’re tough skinned, you have confidence, and you’re simply awesome to hang out with. They will either eventually give up and choose to accept you, or they will go on an all out offensive. If they decide the latter, then just laugh it off and walk away. This type of person will never find a friend, and chances are pretty good they’ll stop using Home shortly after (probably due to a ban) and you’ll never see them again anyway. The former are just people who want to meet people without drama; a person that can laugh off a basic insult usually has their stuff together.

This is a constant rule. Even when you’ve made a friend or three, you’ll always have to keep reminding yourself that friends are people, and as such we have emotions. Sometimes we just don’t feel very happy, so please don’t hate. We’ll be better tomorrow.

I wish I could tell you that by following these rules you’ll make a life-long friend. I really wish I could give you that. This will help though, as you wade through the masses of random personas looking for that one. You’ll meet many that you don’t get along with, some that you wish you never met, but you’ll also meet a few that make all that so worth it. You’ll meet someone that makes you smile, laugh, cry, scream, and dance.

You’ve heard it before many times from many people, but it’ll never sound so great as when it’s said by a friend:

“Welcome to Home.”