Personality Archetypes In Home
by Rath Starblade, HSM guest contributor
So: you’ve bought a brand new PlayStation 3 and you’re taking a break from your new games. Or perhaps you’re looking to make a few friends who share a common interest in gaming. You decide to give PlayStation Home a whirl. Should be a piece of cake, right?
Not so fast, Sparky; there’s a lot for you to learn.
First, you’ve got to know your perverts from your noobs, and to tell the difference between a gamer snob and a Home snob.
Why is this important, you ask? Well, it’s for more than just creating specifically-tailored insults. Some of these people can be either helpful or abrasive, depending on how you approach them. Hopefully, I can shed a little light on this and have a few laughs at the same time.
The other hallmark of a Home pervert - and the response.
Perverts
First things first: one thing everyone notices upon entering Home is the vast sea of perverts. This is especially troublesome for our female gamers. Personally, I think that we should be encouraging women to become active in gaming, but these guys aren’t helping the case.
To be clear, people have a right to say what they want – to a degree – no matter how rude. I also have a right to ridicule them for it to the fullest extent of my abilities.
The first hallmark of a pervert is the barely literate English. You’d think someone who propositioned female avatars all day would want a full keyboard, but I guess being creepy doesn’t pay very well. They typically walk up to anything remotely female and immediately start in on the “compliments.”
What these are, of course, are barely understandable pick-up lines. The annoying part about this is that the pervert will repeat the line ad infinitum when ignored. Of course, if you’re like me, that serves for amusement rather than anything else, but eventually they can begin to grate on one’s nerves.
Another common practice is that of digital she-males. These are the guys that think they’re being clever by creating female avatars so that girls will talk to them. Now, I haven’t looked at the statistics, but I don’t think there are quite as many lesbians on Home as one might be inclined to believe due to this phenomenon. The big tip-off is they don’t even bother with the cheesy lines, I mean they look like a girl, don’t they?
There is good news, however! These creeps can’t actually touch you. I know it’s small comfort, but hey, Sony made that block button for a reason. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to need to take a shower after that section.
Noobs
Okay, now that I’ve got the grime off of me from that last section, let’s move onto Noobs. Now if you’re just starting out on Home, that probably means you. It’s much like being a freshman in high school; nobody likes you, and for no good reason. It’s a sort of guilt by association.
"If he asks me how to dance one more time, I swear to god...
That’s not to say that some noobs won’t grate on your last nerve by being generally clueless, but all in all, I think noobs get a bad rap. This section isn’t about those people that are generally new to everything but are willing to learn. If you’re one of those, then you won’t be a noob for long.
This is about those people that ask stupid and ill-informed questions, as well as those that interrupt you when you try to answer. In real life, we call these people idiots. For some reason, they can’t understand – or perhaps don’t listen – when you try to tell them how to do something.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But Rath, aren’t there some younger people on Home that might have trouble grasping what you’re telling them?”
Yes I suppose so, but when I was a kid, I wasn’t so dumb that I couldn’t ask someone a question and then listen to the answer.
Also, there’s this common misconception on Home that people dressed in free clothes are automatically noobs. Personally, I was on Home for over a year before buying a single stitch of clothing. This brings us to our next type.
Home Snobs
These people think that if you don’t have the latest clothes, you’re not worth talking to. As mentioned above, they assume you’re a noob, and will throw that word around as if it’s the cleverest thing in the world. Now it’s no crime to like the spiffy new threads you bought at the Mall or showing off your new Chairman Meow; I mean he’s just so cute with his little ears and tail and – ahem, sorry. Let’s be honest though, not everybody has money to spare. Some people just have a problem with spending real money for fake clothes.
Also, store-bought clothes make great noob camouflage. I mean, all someone has to do is spend around five dollars U.S. and they look unique enough to fool the first glance. Now, I could probably write a whole different article about the various cliques that inspire Home snobbery, so I’ll just say that there are a multitude of cliques out there and not belonging – or belonging to the wrong one – can get you shunned by another particular group. Oh, well; you can’t please everyone.
Gamer Snobs
It wouldn’t be very fair for me to call everyone else out without calling myself out, too. Gamer snobs are the sorts of people that don’t understand why it’s so dang hard to find gamers on Home. I mean, you’ve got a PS3, right? I’ll admit I’m less likely to talk to someone who doesn’t have a single trophy. Now I don’t take this to extremes, but some do. Some feel that your “street cred” is connected to your gamer level.
Well now, here’s the problem with that. Let’s take a hypothetical gamer; we’ll call him Uthgar the Destroyer. Uthgar has been playing games since Pong. You name it, he’s played it. The only problem is that, since his name is Uthgar the Destroyer, it’s been somewhat hard to find employment.
Now, he’s finally found himself a nice accounting job, and with his first paycheck bought himself a shiny new PS3. Now if Uthgar logged into Home before playing any of his games – or perhaps he’d played some older games like Oblivion and Metal Gear Solid 4, which were pre-trophy games – I would be less inclined to talk to him. However, think of the interesting gamer conversations I’d miss out on just because I took him for a noob.
Of course, the vast majority of people you meet on Home are normal folks – and you can define “normal” any way you want. Even those who fit into the categories I mentioned above aren’t usually all bad. They are simply real people with real flaws. And that’s the beauty of Home: real people.
Except for the perverts. They can go to hell.
June 25th, 2011 by Rath Starblade | 8 comments
This is a good article describing the basic’s of certain people on home. The people Ive encounter with is the pervs mainly. I don’t get talked too with those cheesy lines they do cause i have a guy avatar. When bowling is when i notice pervs, they do the whole lets sit down in front of you cause its the cool thing to do. I don’t call or think of anybody as noobs really. The only time i call someone a noob is when they asked the question whats the point of this space? Before you enter a space, if your in the Nav it gives you a small detail of what the space is. So i don’t get why people even ask that question. The home snobs and gamer snobs ive never really pay attention too. I don’t really talk to anybody on home in the first place because of people who act like snobs or dinks.
Well done Rath! Guess it pays to be “a conversation trapdoor spider”. You never mention you were writing this so I would add sneaky to the conversation trapdoor spider. Which is a group you left out… The Lurkers. I have no problem with lurkers as long as if and/or when they join in the convo, they don’t distract, just add. You must have been smiling while Granny and I were telling you to come check out HSM… you little devil you. It was an enjoyable read and I agreed with what you had to say. I am going to slap a knot on your head when I see you next for being sneaky.(not afraid of spiders)
Hope Terra didn’t tell you the parts I played in the photos.
I think we created our own monster, Olivia. Something tells me we will be hearing a lot more from Rath. At least I didn’t have to stand still for his pics! Next we will be sending him Add requests and he will say he is too busy to hang out with us anymore.
I’m pretty much certain the person with the black ponytail and red shirt is you Olivia =)
The last line is a classic in the annals of HSM!
A breezy and funny read, Rath. Good job :>
You left out the mergers and glitchers. They have a history on Home to,
Truth be told, any woman who closed beta tested Home when it was little more than a free-for-all indoor meat market with an eventual bowling alley and the ability to chat in ear piercing, robotic sounds,(if you bothered to buy an additional headset) can tell you that as sick as it may be, alot is owed to the pervs, noobs, and kids who showed up simply because it was free and they could’nt afford games.
Eh, I know its revolting to think about it, but its true. I remember taking my chances every now and then and venturing into the new frontier called Home simply because I said, I would. Without fail, as soon as I spawned in my minimalist female avatardom,(not to draw attention, of course),I was openly and ferociously attacked. Texts and local chatter galore. And very seldom respectful. There were few woman back then, (apparently some of us were actually playing games) and as with any rarity, a frenzy usually resulted. I would walk around until I just couldn’t take it anymore. I would each and every time, vow never to again return.
My early experiences come to mind every now and again when I hear my present Home friends comment on those they deem to be “noobs” simply because they wear default clothing. I don’t speak up, but I suppose I should. I am proud as it turns out to have once been a noob, and if not for our combined noobdom, none of us would have met each other in the first place. As far as the pervs, the test is now over and your presence is no longer needed. Noobs win!
Thanks for the article, Rath.
One more group you forgot--Dancers. Especially the ones who think it’s funny to dance right in the way in gaming areas like Aurora and the Bowling Alley, etc. Of course, quite a few of them also go hand-in-hand with your ‘perverts’ section. Good article!