Digital Genders: A Double Standard?
by Cynella, HSM team writer
One Tuesday, I had a few hours to kill, so I wandered into Home. These days, I typically only go in Home when I am attending an event or doing research for my site; my work schedule can be chaotic at times.
I jumped to Aurora first, to continue gaining experience points for OrbRunner, but the daily limit had not reset, and there was no way I could beat my previous score. Glancing at my friends list, I decided to visit one of my oldest friends on Home.
Upon arriving, the bench in Central Plaza was so packed that there was no where left to stand. I grabbed a seat on top of some random and began to just absorb, as I used to do so long ago. Most of the Plaza had to be standing on the bench, and it was only 9:30 in the morning. Listening carefully, I noticed there was a battle of the sexes occuring. At first I tried to ignore it, but it became so maddening that I couldn’t contain myself any longer.
A few of the most boisterous avatars were dressed to impress in their female avatars. Although I’m not sure what started it, they were furious that men walk around on Home dressed as females.
A few people spoke up and informed them that Sony did not care which sex of avatar we choose as long as we respected one another and followed the EULA. Others spoke up and suggested that men spent more money on female clothing in Home than the women (I would love to see the actual numbers, for I believe this to be true). I had to chuckle to myself on that one; even though I know females that purchase a lot of clothes, my male friends can (and do) outspend them when it comes to clothes any day of the week.
While sitting there listening to the ridiculous argument, I decided to conduct my own experiment.
If I change into a male avatar, even though I’m a female, how will I be perceived?
Hypothesis: I believe that I will be ignored, as much of the male population with near default clothing is ignored.
Observations: While conversing with a bunch of people that did not know me from Adam, I switched to male avatar. He is the stereotypical fat man with gray hair and ponytail — much as you would expect someone who works at a comic book store to look.
He was welcomed by my new-found companions, no differently than my original. After I changed, the people around me began to show me their alteregos. The young lady I had been talking to changed into a stunning gentleman – she had even purchased clothes to make him look even more authentic.
Her boyfriend seemed hesitant as he told me that he believed that people who walked around as the opposite sex were lying.
I asked him, point blank: lying about what? I have several male friends that dress as women, and if you actually take the time to converse with them, they will all tell you that they are males.
He said he just didn’t agree with it, so I asked, “What is the difference if an avatar is dressed as a dog, cat, alien, or some other creature?” Then I walked away to make new friends.
Approaching the female avatars that were originally bashing men dressing as women, I demanded a conversation. They continued to ignore me and continued to bash the other “men.”
Test #1: I began asking people to join me in voice chat. I joined my friend in his chat; there were four other people in the group, all female avatars. I managed to get one male avatar to join in the voice chat with us. The female avatars were all conversing amongst each other, and the guy that joined seemed to be fine with it. Eventually I greeted him, and he said, “Whoa, where is the woman’s voice coming from?”
I giggled as my female friends revealed the only male avatar in chat was the true female. He was elated to actually be talking to a female in Home.
Test #2: I jumped to another Central Plaza, and danced my way onto the bench. Sitting down beside some people I had never met, I attempted to start a conversation. Oddly enough, no one questioned that my name was feminine, yet my avatar was male. I did receive a lot of questions, asking me where I had obtained my Mountain Dew Hoodie. Revealing that I was indeed a female, even changing back to my original avatar, I still remained in the conversation, without any upsets.
Conclusion: Using a male avatar and revealing myself as female did not seem to affect people the same way as if a male avatar was using a female avatar. People seemed to sympathize with the reverse idea, and they stated that sometimes it was the only way to escape from harassment.
After my male avatar plan didn’t go as I had expected, I decided to shake things up a bit.
If I’m a female avatar, and tell people that I’m a male, how will I be perceived?
Hypothesis: I believe that instead of being accepted, I will be rejected by most. Some will truly try to get to know me and have no problem with it.
Observations:
Test #1: Jumping into yet another Central Plaza server, I am wearing what I normally wear: nothing risque, just plain-jane ordinary. Within less than a minute, I’m approached by a telltale new user. He proceeds to tell me how beautiful I am, and how I should date him. I inform him that I am flattered that he envies my pixels in such a way, but I shall have to decline, because I am a male. He continues to woo me with enough affection to make a grade schooler want to punch his lights out. Again, I inform him that I am not interested. That I am a man. This time, I think he has grasped the meaning of my comment, as he flees in terror, bubble bouncing over his head reading, “Ewww.”
The other gentlemen that were overhearing this advance burst into laughter. I join them, and we proceed to sit on the bench. The gentlemen that witnessed the spectacle treated me as one of their own, and I never let them in on the fact that I was indeed a female (although somehow I think they figured it out on their own).
Test #2: This time I did not jump to another Central Plaza, but instead walked over to the dance floor. Dancing with some male avatars, I disclosed that I was indeed a male. The responses were about the same: some fled in absolute horror and some remained and tried to get to know me further. After dancing for a bit, I invited a male avatar into chat. After saying “Hello” there was a long pause, and then he said, “Are you a female?”
I laughed and told him that I just said I was male to escape the various advances. He sympathized with me.
Conclusion: Using a female avatar and claiming to be a male, I was accepted and rejected equally. Some people seem to have a strong opinion on males using female avatars, but yet an equal amount of people seem to accept you for you, no gender attatchment.
Everyone has their opinions about cross-dressing in Home; DarthGranny laid out the reasons in her article back in the early days of HomeStation Magazine. My question for you is this: why is it so easy to accept or attack men dressed in female avatars, but yet ignore the fact that some women use male avatars as well? In some cases a woman hiding in a male avatar is doing so because:
- She is escaping harassment from the male gender.
- She wants to carry on a conversation without being asked, “Do you really look like that?”
- She wants people to like her for her.
I challenge you to make friends in Home with an open mind. Worry less about appearances, and focus more on what really matters: personality. If you choose to become romantically involved, guard your heart. Online and real life are not always the same thing. Home is an escape from reality; don’t be so quick to drag your real-world baggage into it.
April 10th, 2011 by cynella | 12 comments
Cynella is a veteran gamer and RPG enthusiast; a member of PS Home Gazette, Home Tabernacle, Imagine!, as well as Hamster Freedom, she runs HSM's ongoing column, Community Corner.
Wow great post Cynella! I really don’t understand the hang up about male and female avi’s, ecause I have a male friend who has more female clothes than I do (strange but true) As long as the person behind the pixel is nice, I have no problem with what they look like. More people need to be like this!
Before I continue with my comment, I would first like to say that JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK IS THAT SECOND PICTURE DISTURBING!
Now that I got that out of my system…
It would have been interesting in the second test to see how other girls reacted to you if you had come up to them in a female avatar and said you were male.
I believe the second picture is a depiction of Mari, from Project A-Ko (which is *such* an awesome anime).
If anyone would like to see the scene in question from which this picture is pulled, feel free to visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kxgckL87b0 and check out the fisticuffs.
I remembered (vaguely, it’s been… Damn, almost two decades already?). Still, you have to understand that seeing such a… sight… pre-caffeine will elicit such an emphatic response.
Agreed,that is a disturbing photo.The guys that feel that guys in a female avatar are disgusting,in my experience,are for the most part the same guys that treat home as E-Harmony.They view guys in female form as a form of false advertising,these are for the most part,again in my experience,newer users or guys that are so desperate for female companionship that they have turned to pshome for relationship services.As you saw these types don’t view females in male garb the same,they view them as potential dates and wouldn’t think of alienating them by telling them the same things they do when the situation is the opposite.The ppl that didn’t seem to mind in your experiment were probably ppl that have been on home long enough to know what’s up or rather enlightened individuals.Unless a mic or cam gets pulled out there really isn’t a sure way to effectively know what gender a person is,so ive basically adopted the view that until i know for sure which gender a person is i assume they could be either.As i’m not really looking to”hook up” on home gender is mostly irrelevant to me so this works out fine.But when guys that are actively looking for female relationships on home and find a guy in girl form they feel that they were duped into slightly homo-erotic feelings.This doesn’t explain why some females feel the same way nor is it an explanation for every guy feeling this way,just 1 of probably many reason’s,but then there are few topics that are as complicated as real or perceived human sexuality.
I love the article Cynella. I have several friends who dress up as female occasionally and a few who do it almost exclusively. They are by no means homosexual or even transsexual and I have never really asked why they do this, as I accept them for who they are and don’t really care about the why all that much. I stay female almost exclusively myself, but have on occasion become male, mostly as a joke between friends. There should never be double standards either in real life or virtual, but unfortunately this is not the case. Many males will always regard any other male who is not exclusively masculine either in real or virtual as somewhat disturbed as (like chtulu said) it touches on their own sense of masculinity.
Omg! great post hun let the truth be told I kinda know sometimes who and what I’m talking to in home,judge the conduct not the avatar that applies to real life also. Wow do men avatars really spend more than women?:)
As a male, and as someone who has played a myriad of mmorpg’s since Lineage, with both femme and male toons (I miss my femme dark Elf from lineage2), I have never encountered the double-standard that seems to be so prevalent in Home.
I’ve played both Second Life and Entropia, which seem to be the closest thing to compare to Home and the double-standard, while it does exist, does not exist the same way as it does in Home, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why.
It’s easy to blame the usual suspects. Immaturity, youth, noobs, homophobia, or as cthulu pointed out, people using Home as E-Harmony. However tend the bar at Scorpio’s for a few hours and you’ll see the double-standard is applied by people regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation. Weird….
I do however disagree with the term cross-dressing in the virtual sense. If I’m going to have a femme avi, I’m going to dress her like a girl dangnabbit. Albeit with colored dual katanas that match my shoes.
Great article, great read.
I still believe the female population on ‘Home’ have a Male avatar ‘stored’ in their inventory to be used as a defence against unwanted attention, and to a degree this works. (If you have a male avi with default clothing, you are practically invisible anyway as some parts of ‘Home’ society has resorted to a certain snobbery) But I have only recently realised that this can be another form of recreation also.
Burbie and I have sometimes gender -swapped for fun, which I personally think is hilarious. But for me thats all it is. I don’t go into a ‘character’ and roleplay, although i know of some friends that do, and get a kick out of it.
I wouldnt be surprised at all of the men who ‘Cross dress’ on Home. Some of the outfits on female avatars can be absolutely stunning!
I dont care if people cross dress but it think that if the goal is to make friends then why start it by deception . Most guys that dress like girls lead you on and vice versa that itself is already a deception and how can you have a nice friendship when its based on deception. Besides if i wanted to make male friends or whatever i would play an online game and add their psn from the ingame menu because i know we both like the game so if he accepts then we already have something in common no deception there.
HOME is a play acted out by peeps who dress as males and females in plain and fancy clothing and throw in a mix of genderless sci-fi war characters, hamsters, turkeys, and Pillsbury Dough Boys and God knows who/what else.
If males do indeed pay more for female clothing than females it’s may be that there are more males than females?
It’s a make.believe world, have fun
You right ita a make believe world..but ppl still treat it like the real world, with real world issues..