Home, Why Do We Stay?
![photo-online_community[1]](../../../../img.hsmagazine.net/2011/01/photo-online_community1.jpg)
In my hungry fatigue, and shopping for images, I went
into the neon fruit supermarket, dreaming of your enumerations!
Will we stroll dreaming of the lost America of love
past blue automobiles in driveways, home to our silent cottage?
–Allen Ginsberg
When I was writing my recent HSM article on older gamers, I asked people why they came to Home.
The overwhelming response: curiosity.
Recollect the first time you turned on your shiny new PlayStation 3. You found this icon on the XMB screen:
PlayStation Home.
You clicked it and found yourself in a world like none hitherto imagined. A world full of mythical creatures, soldiers, aliens and even a few more normal people as well.
This was certainly true for me. I remember wandering around, those first few days, with a sense of wonder and astonishment. I had never seen anything like it — having never been in chat rooms, let alone an online virtual world like Home, I felt like Robin Williams exploring the paradise of the afterlife in What Dreams May Come. I was lucky enough to make some good friends within those first two weeks; friends that I still have to this day.
Then, for me — like everyone else — the glamour wore off and the realities of Home set in.
Home is a wonderful place, but it has a darker side as well. Just like the real world. I witnessed types of harassment I couldn’t have even conceived of. I unfortunately even had a few experiences myself that were distasteful. And yet I stayed.
Have you ever asked yourself why you stayed in Home?
We see this complaint ad nauseam in the Sony forum: that Home is somehow dull now, or the sense of community is gone, or the general sense that something is missing.
Dig underneath that sentiment. What’s often being said, in reality, is that the novelty has worn off.
For a lot of people, Home was their first taste of a true virtual world. And when you’re new to it, everything is fantastic. Everything is wonderful. Everything is WOW, OMG, NEW!
How long does it take, though, to work your way through the back catalogues of virtual commodities? To pick and choose which articles of clothing, personal spaces, furniture and other accessories you want as part of your online identity? How long does it take to explore every public space in Home, determine which are your “hangouts,” and then subsequently grow tired of them?
In short, how long does the honeymoon last? A year? Six months?
I’ll wager there’s a bell curve to Home’s population: on one end, you’ve got the users who signed in once or twice and never came back. Then you’ve got the bulk of the population that’s still in their first six to twelve months (as evidenced by the explosion in Home’s population just in the last year, as outlined in Aeternitas’ HSM article earlier this month). And then, on the far side, you’ve got the other end of the curve: the people who stayed.
So now then. What makes a user stay? When you’ve been everywhere, seen and done everything, and bought a ton of goodies, what makes you stick around? Is it the gaming experience? Really? Or is it something else?
This is a good question, and when I ask I get the same response, over and over: relationships.
Home is a social network like nowhere else on Earth. There are other alternatives like Second Life, Entropia, and so forth, but they aren’t as user-friendly; they’re much more complicated to use and get acquainted with, and the graphics aren’t nearly as good, either. They serve their purpose — just as Home does — but Home was created as a gaming platform and its purpose has changed.
When Sony created this place (and thank you for doing this, Sony) it was intended to be a social network for gamers; for developers and game publishers, it was a place to promote gaming and let people connect so they could play games on the network together. This is still a big part of what Home is. We all know this is true; we all play games with friends we have met here, myself included. But while Sony has publicly stated that they’re shifting Home from a social network to a gaming platform — likely to elongate and generate more revenue out of the sweet spot on the bell curve — I personally think that, for the long-term population, Home’s big attraction isn’t the gaming at all, but rather the social interactivity.
The reason we come here is to talk to our friends. There are even a few people I know who have become much more than friends. Look at Hibana’s “Finding Love in Home” article, for instance.
I know of two couples within my own sphere that are in love and intending to be together in real life. I have attended a Home wedding for one couple and we are now in the process of planning the second one. They use these weddings as a statement of commitment to each other — to show all of their friends in Home that this is real to them, not just fun and games.
You see, the thing about meeting someone in Home, as opposed to real life, is that you fall in love with the person. You don’t just fall in lust, per se, because there’s no physical presence there, since you have never met in the real world. You can have video chats if you choose, of course, though these usually come after both have established a true sense of trust already. But you have never really kissed or even touched, so the feelings that you have developed are based on the person, not sexual chemistry. And I believe this makes them much more intense and real.
(Editor’s note: it is estimated that one out of every five relationships in the United States started online. This number will likely only continue to grow. While HSM does not encourage users to use Home for romantic pursuits as their primary goal, there is no question that a number of people found love because of Home. And that’s wonderful.)
In a way, Home has taken us back to the days when people weren’t allowed to see each other without chaperones. To a time when sex wasn’t allowed before marriage, and people had to get to know each other very well through letters and communication before they got married and had that type of relationship. And it must be asked: in an instant-gratification digital world, is this such a bad thing?
One other comment I heard from someone (who has been here since closed beta) is that he stays because he has the hope that Home will one day live up to its true potential. When I asked him what he meant, he said that he would like to see better ways for people of common interests to connect — such as a link directly to the forums that is accessible within Home, so that if you are, say, a horror movie fan, you can connect with others of like kind. Also the ability to stream music or buy a movie to play in your space for your friends. Yes, these are common wish-list requests from the Home community; yes, I’m sure there’s any number of challenges with this. And yes, a lot of people still want to see it happen.
I think we all need to reassess what Home is and what it is becoming. I’ve personally been in Home for a year now, and I’ve watched Home blossom into a vast social network before my eyes. Now it is time for us to think about the future of this place. Where do we go from here?
I hope that the powers that be see the true potential of what they have here and shift a bit of their focus towards the social aspects of Home. They also need to recognize the fact that many of the people here are older than 25, and adjust their view of what we as users require. Developers have a virtual gold mine here if they realize this. I get the sense that the far side of the bell curve may almost be taken for granted — the idea that they’ve stayed through the honeymoon period, so they’re here for the long haul and don’t need to be catered to as much — while the focus is placed on gaming to retain the more casual users during their honeymoon period.
Imagine this for a moment:
A Home that, six months from now, had no new personal or private spaces, no new clothing items, and no new games of any sort. Yes, this is silly. But I’m using an extreme example to illustrate a point. Bear with me.
Instead, that same Home — six months from now — had a massive core client update which offered the following (nearly all for purchase):
- Expanded clubhouse capacity/functionality.
- The ability to customize your own default comments.
- Enhanced blocking features to stop harassment at the source.
- Double the number of avatar gesticulations, postures and dance moves.
- Double the item limit for personal spaces.
- Double the population capacity for clubhouses and personal spaces.
- The ability to have (by mutual consent of both parties) interactive avatar activities, such as handholding.
- A new L2 menu for frequently-used gestures, dance moves, et cetera.
- A Harbour Studio with functioning EoD TV to provide orientation videos for new users.
‘
Just imagine that.
Which Home would you prefer: the Home with more games and items, or the Home which provides a more socially immersive experience?
I’m sure there’s no end to the technical hurdles that would have to be overcome to see this happen. And, likewise, I’m sure the cost would be high. Which is why I pointed out that nearly all of those features, if implemented correctly, could be offered as for-purchase options. Sort of like adding downloadable content to a video game.
Except that all of this downloadable content enhances the social aspects of Home, not the gaming aspects. Which, if I’m right, is what a lot of people are craving. And this could be key to greater long-term user retention.
Remember when MySpace — back in the day when it was still much larger than Facebook — only allowed you to have sixteen pictures on your page? And then, for a brief time, they were selling you the capacity to have more pictures if you bought a MySpace music album? I can imagine Sony offering various new features, like what I listed above, at a price. And I would pay it.
And I’ll wager you would, too.
So ask yourself why you stayed in Home after the newness wore off, and I believe you will come to the same conclusion that many others have: friends, community, and in some cases, love. These are the reasons we stay.
February 2nd, 2011 by Burbie52 | 27 comments
Burbie52 is a 62 year-old published author and founder of the Grey Gamers group within Home. Born and raised in Michigan, she has lived there her entire life, with the exception of a twelve-year residency on the Big Island of Hawaii. She enjoys reading and writing, as well as video games, especially RPG's. She has one son in his twenties.
With the exception of the last item on your wish list,im not a new user anymore,id pay 4 all of these things and have no problem paying a decent price either.I dont like overpaying but a thirsty man will pay top dollar 4 water,and sony many many ppl r thirsting 4 these things.Your customers r telling u that these r their wants/needs,will u listen 2 them and reap very large profits or just keep giving us new midways til there r more of them than friday the 13th movies?I know the green ticket is the #1 seller right now but if these things were 2 b implemented im sure that would change very quickly.Good call on the comparison of home 2 the old ways of communicating,on home u can take all the time u feel u need 2 get 2 know some1 b 4 u take it 2 the next step,and more often than not thats 4 the best.
It’s definitely the relationships. On the few occasions that I log into Home and find that none of my friends are on, the place feels dull and empty, crowded but uninhabited. Fortunately, that is usually a temporary condition.
I spent most of yesterday in Home. And most of that time was spent in a few long, intense conversations. Oh, and I finally got around to winning the KillZone jacket. But that was a minor part of my day. Most of it was spent building relationships.
I guess I’m going to the wrong Home or haven’t found the Adult Swim area yet because the only relationships I have that I can call close are with the ones that I have been gaming with since Doom! I know three people well in Home and these are people that live right down the road from me. I’m 1 and 1/2 to 2 years old in Home and can’t say I have had any of these experiences. Maybe a “one night stand” type of encounter where I hang out for the day but not a “met in a virtual world, never met in person, we’re really close, we talk to each other every time we log in” encounter. Maybe I’m just an ass or something!
Where do the adults hang out again?!?!
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, a whole lot of them are in the Homeling Collective. And a whole lot more are in the Grey Gamers. Social groups in Home are a great way to meet like-minded individuals, the kind you spend hours talking with on Irem Beach while life swirls on around you.
Serious offer: send me a PSN friend request, and we can meet in Home. I’ll introduce you to some remarkable people, most of whom look like monks dressed in PVC pipe. You can decide if you wish to join us.
Thanks for the reply SealWyf! I will take you up on that sometme this weekend and maybe it will open my eyes to what Home really can be. I appreciate it!
::bows::
You can also message me if you want I am the leader of a large group of older gamers in Home, Grey Gamers. If yo want to talk about joining message me and we will talk. Most of my members are over 30 years of age, and we always welcome newcomers.
Instant gratification, I believe, is exactly what Sony’s bean counters (like most conglomerates) are looking at when it comes to profits. Just look at car manufacturers in the past twenty or thirty years as an example. The games within the game of Home itself provide an easy source of revenue, unlike, say, a wardrobe or furniture purchase, as they know going in that their main user base are gamers. What I see as a flaw in a lot of businesses’ models is this: they fail to notice that products don’t move people; people move products. How many things have you bought in Home as a result of a friend’s ownership of the same object?
The points in your wishlist that you bring up would be considered to be a godsend for those of us who see Home a social network. However, speaking from a business perspective, how much overhead would these features create, and would their profit margins justify that cost? Honestly, the only two I see on your list that would are the expanded capabilities for the clubhouses and personal spaces.
Yes, Sony needs to improve their blocking abilities as far as harassment is concerned -- a 3D world needs 3D blocking capabilities, as verbiage blocking simply is insufficient. It doesn’t matter if you’re a short timer strictly there for the games, or a long term user who comes back for the relationships they’ve built, this is a must. However, as I’ve mentioned in the past, it’s probably a far more complicated programming challenge than you or I realize, and a lot of tests would have to be conducted before it becomes a part of an update.
Excellent article. Maybe if enough people advocate for the social aspects of Home, Sony will eventually start to listen to their long-term user base.
And of course it goes beyond Home, to the PS3 operating system and PSN limitations.
The 100-friend limit is painfully, ludicrously small. I have 290 friends on Facebook, and that’s small by FB standards. When you’re a member of a large, active social club, you NEED at least 500 friend slots, and possibly more.
The PSN message system needs to be expanded into real email — longer notes, multiple attachments, a way to define re-usable mailing lists, a “reply to all” feature, and the ability to send mail to (and receive mail from) the Internet.
The PSN browser is nearly unusable for most serious applications. The only reason to use it is if you don’t have another device available.
The PS3 is a powerful computer. So why don’t we have a real operating system? We need a file system we can access (at least for user-created files), and applications such as text-editors we can reach when shelled out from Home. Better yet, integrate text-editor and email into the Home PDA, so we can take notes and send mail without shelling out to the XMB.
There’s no reason I can see that the PS3 shouldn’t be at least as flexible as the iPad, which is just an expanded cell phone. We should have apps that are not games, a robust web browser, and real communications tools. And these should be integrated into Home, in every way possible.
Sorry, just had to rant a little. I’m getting tired of having to set up the laptop just so I can take minutes in Homeling meetings, or having to send three sets of tediously-addressed notes just tell MS 16 we’re having a field trip. Some of us — many of us — are adults, who are used to having proper tools. And yes, we have the disposable income to pay for them.
It seems like a no-brainer to me.
Its starting 2 sound like the beach in here with all these “fam” offers,lol.And seriously,1 1/2 to 2 years on home and u got 3 good friends?Do u have another account named “Angry Santa?”lol.
No. lol. I only have 3 friends that I actually know. The few that I have accepted were just kids wanting to pwn me in some game like Uncharted or Resistance or something to get the trophy. Like the idiot I am I complied. It’s fun sometimes but most of them are griefers that I delete when we’re finished the game. So yes my friends list can be seen on one screen. lol!
That is 3 friends in Home. I actually have quite a few in the real reality! lol.
I think maybe u need a change of scenery,the old EA poker room was the best place 2 meet smart,mature,funny ppl 2 make friends with but now that its gone,sob,2 of the places ive met new and interesting ppl at is the new conspiracy space and singstar.Quite often hours long conversations begin with a simple question,then its off from there.What im about 2 say might sound harsh but its not intended 2 b,2 engage interesting ppl sometimes u need 2 show that u r yourself interesting.What i mean by this is that maybe u need 2 change the way u approach conversations with ppl?Idk but if u r an ass dont worry there is plenty of them on my friends list 2,ill admit im odd but i find jackass’ 2 b interesting ppl.Angry santa if your reading this send me a message,lol,that golden girls bit was classic stuff.
Never been to singstar. Didn’t appear to be interesting to me. Conspiracy I went there to play the game not to converse, but to play the game I guess I converse with people like I go shopping. I’m a guy so I shop like a guy and tal like a guy. I go in the store, buy what I want, then leave. No walking around store to store window shopping (what the hell is that anyway!). No asking if this or that is for sale. No trying shirts or pants on to see if I look good in them or if they fit. I just get it done! My conversations tend to be the same! Like my favorite movie character always says: “Shop smart, shop S Mart!”
Well honestly the dancing gets 2 b repetitive and a bit boring if thats all your doing,but 4 me the dancing is just something 4 my avatar 2 do while im talking.Again this may sound harsh but im not trying 2 b when i say now i c how u have gone so long without making any lasting friends on home,ty 4 honestly assessing the situation btw.Maybe u could try this just 1 day a week,when u get on home stay off any and all games,go 2 the areas but dont play just listen.When u hear something interesting going on try 2 participate in the conversation,i dont mean barge your way in but wait 4 an opening and take it.Ask questions and offer any insights u may have,2 often we wait 4 things 2 come 2 us when we should b doing as much as possible 2 make things happen.Of course this is just my opinion and u can tell me 2 go 2 hell,but i thought if u looked at this as more of a journey than an “achievement” u might have better luck.If your always in a hurry 2 b on 2 the next thing u r sure 2 miss alot,patience is something that will serve u well in this endeavor.I understand some ppl may only have an hour or 2 in a day 2 b on home so then rush along that day,thats y i suggested doing this only 1 day in a week because this can take some time 2 accomplish successfully,but the end justifies the sacrifice,more often than not,in this case.
I’ll try the suggestion cthulu! I just feel funny eavesdropping. I remember some comical times in Home where I was having a conversation and someone, who was not in the conversation, was standing close by eavesdropping. When I asked them how they were doing or what they thought using thier name they said “No No leave me alone”. Then they left. I could imagine them screamming “Someones seen us! Run Away! Run Away!” Well it made laugh! I thought it was funny.
Imagine you are in public talking to a friend and someone stands close to you two trying thier best to appear inconspicuous, but you know they’re listening in. Wouldn’t you feel a little weird? That’s why I feel weird doing just that.
Well there is no such thing as privacy in a public space,in home or real life,so dont feel ashamed.Yes some ppl do act weird 4 reasons that will probably never b understood but if some1 has something interesting 2 contribute 2 any conversation im involved in i promise i wont run away screaming,lol.
I have a great suggestion for you Mad, send me a message and I will hook you up and introduce to to a lot of older cool people who you can have great conversations with, and having been introduced you won’t have to eavesdrop, just join in.
I’ll do that. Thanks!
Mad Adam i could do the same thing 4 u that Burbie offered but i was trying 2 help u acquire a useful skill that would serve u well in the future.If u give a man a fish u feed him 4 a day but teach him 2 fish u feed him 4 life,and as 4 it being eavesdropping,if the ppl involved wanted their conversation private there r plenty of other options they can use other than putting it above their heads in a public place.I find the best way 2 break the ice is 2 wait til some1 asks a question that no1 else in the area seems 2 know the answer 2 then offer an answer.I always have room in my fam 4 ppl but recruiting every1 i meet isnt a priority 2 me,but then my fam is like no other 1 on home.I have ppl on my friends list that ive known since the 1st month i came on home but have never asked 2 join so dont feel like i intentionally snubbed u Mad Adam by not offering u a position in it.I had thought,wrongly i guess,that some1 who has been on home as long as u have been had already decided fams weren’t 4 u if u weren’t in 1 by now.
What you said is true about teaching a man to fish, but sometimes the best way to teach is by experience. If a person is shy or has a laid back personality I find it is best to help them get their feet wet a bit then sit back and watch them learn to relate on their own. All I am offering is a opening, what they choose to do with it is up to them, no hand holding here.
Awesome article! Great for laymen like myself, very informative and with a panache for writing…and of course, gaming!
Fantastic article, Burbie. I know people who are unfamiliar with virtual worlds sometimes wonder why time seems accelerated in Home. I think the point you made about getting to know the person behind the avatar holds the key. In Home you might meet someone say, at an event in NA Home. After a few minutes of chatting you discover that you enjoy each other’s company and have mutual interests. After 30 minutes you leave the NA Home and travel together to the Japan Home for an event there. This is actually how I met one of my friends. Conversations and events that might take place over days or even weeks in the world real are compressed in Home and might take place in the space of a few hours instead. So you get to know people faster, and relationships develop, mature and die quicker too. But the ones that last tend to be strong because they’re based upon compatibility of personalities.
Thanks for all of the input on this article. I have been in this virtual world for over a year now and I have enjoyed every minute of it. As long as we all remember that there is a real person behind the avatars and treat them with the respect they deserve, Home will be a great place for all. And MadAdam welcome to the club!
Great article Burbie, This really describes what Home is to me. I’ve had tons of stuff pop up these last two years but Home has been my constant because of great people like you, the rest of the HSM staff, and the great people in the true great clubs of Home like Gray Gamers, The Reapers, Etc. As long as the truly good people stay I will be returning to Home day after day. Keep up the good work.
a shame that the pokerrooms are gone !
That was the main purpose for me on playstation home… , Bad sony !!!
Nice article. Home is great for making new friends and make all the people from different countries close learn from them languages and cultures. It is also, you can make friends from different ages teens, in 20s, in 30s, in 40s and even in 50’s.. from my older friends I have became somewhat wise and have more confidence in myself. From ps home, I shared a lot of moment which it is sad, happy and angry… ps home has touched me and I believe it touched the others. Thanks.