Reasons For Cross-Dressing in Home
By DarthGranny, HSM staff writer
My avatar arrives online, puts on a male persona, and dresses in Hawaiian gear — complete with aloha-print pareo, head wreath, bare feet and bare chest with kukui-nut lei. Dis one good-lookin braddah – he da kine (Hawaiian pidgin for an awesome looking local dude)!
Having saved this avatar, I then load my usual frumpy-looking elderly female (wearing old-lady clothes), and sashay forth for another great day interviewing the denizens of Home about their quirks.
It never fails: fifteen minutes into my Central Plaza rounds, here comes the classic CP pervert. His big pick-up line: “Send me a pic of ur t—s.”
“I don’t wear t-shirts,” I reply, much to his consternation.
“Naw, u no wat I mean – ur bare chest!”
“Ok, take the picture yourself,” I say, as I zip to the wardrobe and load Mr. Tropic-Tan Hawaii. “There – take your picture of my bare chest. You can even see my nuts!”
Confusion, disbelief and early ejection – he turns tail and runs.
That’s why I built a male avatar as well as a female. There are some creeps in Home who are so incredibly desperate for female attention they will even hit on an elderly grandma. Being able to immediately switch roles is the best deterrent I’ve found.
Result: sputtering rage and incoherent insults spelled with all the acuity of a six-year-old.
In conducting interviews for this column, I discovered that I am not alone in my androgyny. If fact, I found seven users who had highly articulate reasons for cross-dressing. Being an investigative reporter, I invited my friend, Holycrap Bjoue, to accompany me while we put some of these rationales to the test.
A bit of background: Bjoue is 100% straight male, so he became my male perspective on whether or not these are legitimate arguments that will work for both men and women in Home. He also created his own female avatar – for a reason many men would probably emulate had they thought of it prior to today: he wanted his own eye candy.
#1. HE LIKES “EYE CANDY”
If you are always following your avatar around Home, do you find your own image that appealing and interesting to stare at for hours? Or would you rather create a collection of ‘eye candy’ avatars to watch? When comparing Bjoue’s male counterpart versus the va-va-voom female he created, I can see his point.
So – if you want to see what your dream date would look like as an avatar, go to your wardrobe and have some fun inventing. My avatar guy looks like Chace Crawford – and I can watch him all day! That pinchable little derriere is so tempting. Pinch pinch. Pinch.
#2. CAMOUFLAGE – “AVOIDING THE PERVS”
Some males — early teens, especially — get enraged when they discover the scantily-clad voluptuous female they have been eagerly pursuing is actually a disgusting male pervert who has been getting his rocks off at the kid’s expense. What these noobs don’t realize is that a lot of the really attractive females in Home are disguised in male avatar bodies and clothes.
So, why would a girl do this?
Because she is NOT looking to hook up, look up, shack up or any other euphemism along those lines. Too many males in Home assume that an attractive, unescorted female is little more than a sex object, and talk to her as such. For the girl who wants to explore Home, play the games, shop at the Mall, learn new dance combos in the disco, and just enjoy some intelligent conversation, a male avatar appearance can be an interesting alternative. 
For example: here is a picture of a 24-year-old Canadian girl in an avatar you will never see in a public space. She is so disgusted with being insulted, assaulted, and stalked that she wears her male avatar most of the time – just to avoid the unpleasantness directed at women.
#3. THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER
So many people think their lives would have been very different if only they had been born a beautiful female or a handsome male. Others were in fact born that way, but as age, entropy and free radicals crept in, physical beauty declined. And they are forced to get by on whatever inner worth they can offer. So, the temptation to experiment with avatar appearance sets in: who says your avatar actually has to look like you?
First comes the experimentation within your own gender: what if the nose was shorter, straighter, and in the middle of the face? How about being taller, thinner, and having a full head of hair?
Then the curiosity sets in: like Dustin Hoffman preparing for his role in “Tootsie” — who had always thought he would be much more attractive as a female was shocked to find out that there are some things even makeup and padding cannot correct — the first attempt at building an alternate avatar of the other gender can be a shock. So, if I was going to look really, REALLY good as a female (or male), what would I have to do to my own real life appearance to achieve that? And then the fantasy takes over: what if?
For a lot of people, the experimentation ends in the wardrobe. Admit it: you DID think about it, didn’t you. Others get such interesting results they want to trot him/her out in public and head to CP or the Mall to show off their alterego.
This Homie has very attractive male AND female avatars and switches from one to the other whenever the mood hits him. Friends (including me) know that and accept that’s just the way he is: really a cute person.
#4. “IT’S A GREAT WAY TO MEET CHICKS”
When one of my interviewees told me this, I was stunned. Then I followed him around while he chatted amiably with female avatars that had very vocally rebuffed male avatars who approached them.
His secret is he CHATS. He finds out what new fashions are being sold in Threads for females, and then walks up to a female who is wearing that new ‘super-woman’ gear and says something like, “I saw that but I am afraid I would get too much perv attention if I wore it. Are you having any problems since you put that on?”
Oh boy, does that open up a conversation! After a conversation about everything in Home that interests her as well as finding out if she is married or otherwise taken in the real world – with our hero eagerly agreeing to everything she says – he makes his move: “You are so nice to talk to! May I add you as a friend?”
After several more invites to chat in various locations in Home, he finally confides. “You are such a nice person, I want to confide in you: I am actually a very shy guy. I enjoy talking to intelligent women and you are particularly interesting. I wear this avatar so I can get to know someone as a person, not a target. I sincerely hope we can continue to be friends because I really enjoy your company. May I change into my real avatar?”
It doesn’t work 100% of the time. But it does work often enough for some of these guys to have dozens of great-looking girls on their friend lists to hang out with, dance partners for the disco, and some truly interesting conversations.
#5. TRANSVESTITES
These interviews were rather sad – there are men in Home who really like to dress up in women’s clothes, although they are not gay.
A female avatar in Home can wear the Yakuza suit, and she looks cute. But a male avatar in a wedding dress would get insulted and assaulted – IF Sony would even permit a male avatar to wear female avatar clothes.
In real life, these guys tell me, some have a sympathetic wife who will let them wear whatever they like in the privacy of their home. Some wives even go so far as to help with hair and makeup! Others live alone and hope the UPS guy doesn’t ring the doorbell at an inopportune time. Some search out the few bars where other transvestites hang out.
So – in Home – when you see a tastefully dressed female avatar in a skirt, blouse, high heels, and modest make-up – don’t waste your time trying to hit on ‘her’. She is not a gay male, and she is not a girl looking to hook-up with a guy. She is just enjoying going to the Mall and building a wardrobe of clothes that she will never have the chance to wear in real life.
#6. “I DON’T WANT TO BE RECOGNIZED”
Check the statistics: word on the street is that almost 20% of divorces in the U.S. today cite internet romances by the erring spouse to be the reason for the breakup.
If you suspect that the ‘love of your life’ is a Home philanderer – and you want to snoop without being caught at it – you open a second account with a different name and a completely different appearance. He (or she) is not going to notice an avatar of same sex trailing them around CP, the beach, or the Mall. Hang back just far enough to pick up conversations, but without being obvious about it. If you are really a good actor, befriend them with this new persona so you can tell when they are online and where in Home they are. Do not wear the deerstalker hat or the pipe, Sherlock – the idea is to be as invisible as possible when snooping.
Or, worst-case scenario, you are married and you think your spouse has an internet lover. You suspect that the time spent supposedly watching the races at the Mui Mui Ship was actually spent sneaking off to a chat room with an eyecam for a date? You want to follow that bunch of asterisks around Home and see if she is encouraging some outrageous male behavior and remarks? You are willing to invest in a second PS3 and a different email address for the account?
Once again, the snooping technique in the previous paragraphs come into play. Make sure your new avatar is completely different from you – different sex, different race, different clothing preferences, and a hairstyle you would not wear to a dog fight – even if you would win.
#7. HE/SHE IS GAY (OR NOT)
Ironically, most of the male gays I interviewed were in male avatar bodies. They were looking to hook up with other attractive and lonely gay guys, not to seduce some horny teen who’s hitting on every female on the beach.
The female avatar who is talking hot with the teens and dressed like a Sunset Strip prostitute is more likely to be a (rather plain or ugly) man who gets his rocks off by talking dirty. No real female in Home is so completely desperate for male attention that she will go along with his nonsense, so he preys on the stupid kid who still believes in Santa Claus: “Oh, wow – she looks like Britney Spears and she wants to send me pictures of her bewbs!”
The pervert will milk that conversation for all he can get: descriptions of what he would like to do to the kid, and elaborate outlines of what he would like done to ‘her’ (himself as a female). Following this comes dance moves and other actions to simulate sex acts – and promises to send pictures or to schedule eye-cam sessions. Needless to say, the pictures he sends will have been downloaded from some website since the last thing he wants this idiot kid to see is his real self.
Occasionally, a real gay male will bring a seductive-looking female avatar out of his closet and trot her around the public rooms — not because he is really on the make, but because it’s amusing to him to see how men react to what they think is a pretty girl behaving in a way usually seen only in their wet dreams. It is rare that the scenario goes into a Home version of “The Crying Game” because going through days of seduction and then risking it all on the denouement of ‘the big surprise’ is just tiresome for most gays.
And, unsurprisingly, no pictures for this one: none of the pervs would admit to being pervs.
BOTTOM LINE:
Home is like a box of chocolates – you never know who you are going to get! The only thing you know for SURE about anyone in here is his or her ability to communicate. Conversational skills (or the lack thereof) are the only measuring stick we have.
Even the person who wastes hours, trying to make an avatar look exactly like himself, is doomed to failure. The most you can hope for is a cartoon representation that will not frighten small children. So, if you want to remove any social prejudices that you think have affected your real life relationships, do it!
If you want to experiment to see if you would be treated differently as another sex, another color, etc., try it out in Home! And send me pictures. I won’t tell…
DarthGranny is the Tim Burton version of a sweet, old grandmother. She is the head of her own Home group, the Poker Posse, and enjoys pwning kids in online games from the comfort of her retirement home. A staff writer for HSM, she was playing video games back when the abacus was considered cutting edge.
November 24th, 2010 by keara22hi | 9 comments
Keara is also known in Home as DarthGranny. She is a wicked little old lady with a wild sense of humor.
I stumbbled aross you before and had a very nice conversation. I enjoyed the article and think perhaps you should have interviewed me because I have a very strange outlook than all of those for why I do it, but slightly similar to some. I often wonder what it would have been like to be a girl but have no interest in real life cross dressing. I wouldn’t mind being female if it wouldn’t cost a life savings to do and look exactly how I want. Plus thats a 1 time deal, no going back. Thus, Home and other games (Sims) come into play! I can act how I want, dress how I want, and not suffer the insults and other problems it would bring in real life. And if they do bother me I can block them/report them. Plus I’m not hidden about it, what with LordDeath50 floating above my name. If they don’t bother to pay attention to it, that’s them.
Hey, great job investigating. I think you are pretty spot-on but it’s impossible to cover all the possible categories of cross-dressing. I was curious why you felt the transvestite one was so sad. I’ve know several meat-space transvestites (even been to tranny clubs) who are all very happy with who they are and, like you said, often has support from their families.
Also, to me, the gay male playing a male avatar makes more sense than the other way around. If he were to cross-dress, he would be attracting a man who is attracted to women… why would he want that?
Great report. I think you guys just got yourselves a loyal reader.
DarthGranny this has alot of interesting points in it and i really enjoyed reading it ty for writing it.
What I love about this article is that this is the sort of out-of-the-box investigative journalism that I haven’t really seen any other Home project attempt to tackle.
Home’s population is 85% male. Yet if you look at the number of female avatars running around, it suggests that there’s *a lot* of cross-dressing going on. What I find refreshing about this article, though, is that it doesn’t attempt to pigeonhole the subject and place a moral judgment upon it. Rather, it looks at the subject from an amoral viewpoint, which is far more interesting.
The one reason for cross-dressing which I don’t see in this article, but I suspect is the motive behind a fair amount of it: the need for attention.
Speaking in *very* broad terms: there’s a lot of lonely teenage boys on Home. I don’t think they care so much about anything salacious as they do about having *attention* paid to them. And if you lack typing skills (or even a keyboard entirely), anonymously dressing as a hot girl is a quick way to get attention. I’ve observed it a few times on Home, and while it’s a bit depressing, it’s not surprising.
--Norse
Hey Darth
You did talk to me as part of the research for this article. Good job, I must say.
I am one who just admires women. Being able to create one I tried to get an Asian look. Hey my wife is Asian, its in my blood. Its kind of what a beautiful/ideal women looks like in my book being put out there…
As the top option describes, that is more-or-less my motivation. Id rather look at a female image if I have a choice, for those hours on Home. This does lead to some awkward situations sometimes, but most times I tell people I’m not female up front. Most times it has not been a problem.
When there was EA poker I kind of thought of it as bringing Lady Luck with me….and many times, it worked…LOL. I sometimes use to play to the character the female/or male was costumed as. For example if I was Egyptian, I’d come up with Egyptian one-liners. Darth was playing the old lady really funny and well at one game.
I like women…I don’t want to be one or dress like one for real. It is a lot more interestng to costume a woman character then a male…as a result I have many things to put on the girl. Evenn in gaming, I pick females fighters in fighting games a lot. Just my thing.
Fun read….
Great article, l find if u complicate ur profile ie l say l speak Russian/Finish/Klingon the goofy guys stay away,,,,however if im ignored 4 to long l find l get frustrated,its nice to have guys trying to hit on u sometimes,especially when u had a hard day at work,lucky 4 me im infected with faithfulnes so they never have a chance,,,lol.
I would like to note that I do it because I’m transgendered and it helps relieve some of the tension and anxiety I experience living as my birth gender.
Nice article overall.
A well put argument for all people to enjoy the aspects of a “pretend life”. SCEA PS Home is a nirvanna for all who dared to dream of a life other then one’s own life. The matter is really how does one’s cross dressing ways in a video game effects the dreams or desires of the individual in reality. This atitude may effect a natural person well being and possibly even build an experience that effects the normal flow of thought in a person brain and alter their preception of reality…Use at your own risk, believing you are female in a game day after day may make you want to become female in reality.
Mike, Cubes, Jersquall and I recently had a long chat about this topic. For a long time, this was the most-viewed article on our website — and with good reason, perhaps.
There’s *a lot* of cross-dressing in Home. For some, it’s just harmless play; a couple of my friends in Home like to cross-dress as a joke, and everyone knows about it. Yet if you suggested they do so in real life, they’d punch your lights out.
At the other end of the spectrum, there are people who cross-dress either to pursue sexual gratification or to try to get away from sexual harassment.
But there’s a whole *lot* of gray area in between. For instance, Jamie’s response on December 21st is a very valid and interesting reason.
The one reason that I keep seeing, over and over: loneliness. A lot of teenage boys without keyboards or social skills who are just plain lonely, and they’re looking for *any* kind of attention. It’s sad, but I understand it.