Worst People Of 2011

Kim Kardashian has never been what we would consider a winner, what with the endless reality TV appearances, the sex tape and so on, but she really put it over the top in 2011 with her sham wedding to NBA player Kris Humphries. The poor dumb Lurch was flummoxed by the whirlwind of attention that surrounded Kardashian and, just a few months later, the whole thing was off. Don't feel sorry for Kim, though. She pocketed millions of dollars for TV rights to the ceremony, further proving that the "sanctity of marriage" has been dead for a long, long time.

I'm not a political guy. I'll vote for anybody who looks like they're going to make life easier for me. This year's slate of Republican presidential candidates, however, is a scary thing. The absolute worst was Herman Cain, the former Godfather's Pizza CEO who launched a campaign based around a lunkhead tax scheme called "9-9-9," which would make poor people pay thousands more a year and rich people pay millions less. That's just what America needs! Thankfully, myriad accusations of sexual harassment caused him to hang up his pizza hat before he secured the nomination.

Lindsay Lohan has been on a slide for almost a decade now, so it's kind of adding insult to injury to put her on this list, but let's be frank: posing for Playboy means the dream is officially over. Lohan's perfectly-shaped fun bags won many a heart in her prime, but ten years of cocaine and Twitter have ravaged the former Mean Girls hottie. Even with the incredible airbrushing talent that Playboy brings to the table, the 25 year old actress still looks like she's in her early forties. Way to ruin tits for me, lady.

No matter what your thoughts on the Occupy movement are, you have to admit that it's giving a voice to people who are frustrated with our financial system. It's also letting cops look really, really awful. The poster child for police brutality is Lt. John Pike, the porcine police officer who was photographed casually hosing down nonviolent protestors at UC Davis with pepper spray. The expression on Davis' face made him instant memebait. Truly one of the worst people of 2011.