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WWE Monday Night Raw 3/12/2012 - The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

Aubrey Sitterson breaks down the 3/13 episode of Raw in his weekly WWE Monday Night Raw: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly!

Aubrey By Aubrey Sitterson March 13, 2012
  

We’re only a few weeks out from WrestleMania XXVIII, the biggest event of the WWE calendar year, so the promotion’s flagship show should be more exciting than ever, right? Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case this week. While there were some unquestionably great moments, the bulk of the show was just WWE spinning its wheels.

Raw this week featured John Cena busting out his PhD in Thuganomics, the Rock butchering Queen and Chris Jericho outing a fellow wrestler’s father as an alcoholic – find out how everything stacked up as we run down the show’s good, bad and heinously ugly moments. Then, make sure you tell us what you thought about the show, and help spread our little column around the internet with the fervor normally reserved for cat videos and Christina Hendricks nude photos. Make it all happen by liking us on Facebook, sharing the link on Twitter and of course, following Aubrey Sitterson on Twitter, where I have been known to engage in quite a bit of salty language. Be forewarned.

 

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WWE Monday Night Raw 3/12/2012
Credit: WWE

Ugly – Another One Bites The Dust

First off, if you haven’t already, I’d encourage you to go check out last week’s “Straight Shoot” on the ongoing Rock/Cena promo battle, as this week’s Rock Concert continues to play into some of the same issues I observed last week.

All done? OK...

So, the Rock was awful this week. I was onboard for the first couple songs he did but the entire nightmarishly long segment quickly showed its true colors as nothing more than a series of goofy, pandering songs that were just backdoors into more of the same catchphrases and “Kung Pao Bitch” nonsense that we’ve come to expect from the Rock in recent weeks. A little of this type of thing can be fun, but watching a bald guy play acoustic guitar is pretty much the opposite of what I tune into wrestling for.

While I wasn’t crazy about his Rock History Lessons last week, those were far, far better than what we had to sit through here. Worst of all was that after watching the entire thing expecting Thuganomics PhD candidate John Cena to come back out as a payoff, all we got was the Rock absolutely butchering a Queen song. Not since I tried to sing “Under Pressure” at karaoke have I heard such a travesty, as even having the parody lyrics to “We Will Rock You” plastered on the Titantron didn’t help Rocky get through the song without stumbling over his tongue.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m still a fan of this feud and am looking forward to these two guys facing one another at WrestleMania. But this wasn’t just an “I didn’t care for that promo,” kind of bad segment – it was absolutely insufferably awful. Bad enough that if I didn’t have to, you know, stay up and write about it, I probably would have just turned it off – season two of Archer is on Netflix after all. It’s possible that all of this is part of a complex plan to get more people on John Cena’s side, but I have to imagine that there was a better, more interesting way to do that than ending your wrestling show with a terrible sub-morning-zoo-crew-level Queen parody.

 

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