WWE Monday Night Raw 3/12/2012 - The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

With Machine Gun Kelly in attendance and John Cena embracing his inner Chain Gang Commander, this week’s Monday Night Raw had exactly two more white rappers than I would have preferred. That said, I still loved Cena coming out in full-on 2003 gimmick, even though it makes his conflict with Rock less about the biggest stars of yesterday and today, and more about the biggest stars of yesterday and slightly more recent yesterday. And of course, while I’ll almost certainly get pilloried by certain folks in the comments, I actually really dug Cena’s rap promo.

No, it was nowhere near as good as the past couple weeks where Cena tore into the Rock in person, but it still had something in common with those promos: Cena looked like he was having fun. One of the best things to watch on television is a guy having a good time – that’s what Jackass was built on, after all – and while Cena’s raps were admittedly dopey, he was clearly enjoying himself, which made all the jokes about nuts, Cleveland steamers and plastic Divas go down a little bit easier. Best of all, it was something different for Cena – I just wish there was a way that he could incorporate some of the freewheeling fun of his rapper gimmick into his everyday persona.

Even more shocking than Cena referencing testicles, gross sex acts and the fact that all the Divas have had plastic surgery on a TV-PG show, was the fact that within 10 minutes of meeting and exceeding my weekly Nickelback quota, WWE got crazy and put on some actual wrestling. Even better, it was a match between Dolph Ziggler, who is no stranger to the coveted Shitterson Match of the Night Award, and Sheamus. I’m a Ziggler fan, and was worried when the match started, because I knew it had to end with Sheamus as the victor, as WWE is rightfully trying to build him in advance of his World Heavyweight Title Match at WrestleMania XXVIII. But while Sheamus went over clean, he actually made Ziggler look like a real threat along the way. And in return, Ziggler did Sheamus right by bumping like an absolute maniac, as is his wont, doing more for Sheamus in a single match than a month’s worth of Jinder Mahal squashes.

Still, not everything about the match was great though, as it still seemed a poor use of resources to have a SmackDown guy beat up a Raw guy, who a very short time ago, was actually the No. 1 contender to the WWE Title. I also wasn’t a big fan of the finish, which was a pretty standard WWE affair, with the face popping up and hitting his finisher out of nowhere for a surprise win. Call it the “RKO approach” to booking a match. My least favorite part of the match, however, was when WWE cut away from the action to check in with Daniel Bryan and A.J. in a skybox. I like the skybox a lot as a piece, but it’s crazy to show people sitting down and chatting when there’s actual wrestling going on.

Like most of you, I used to make ruthless fun of David Otunga. The guy couldn’t work (jury’s still out on if he’s improved at all) and always seemed too scared to be too unlikable – like he wanted everyone at home to know that he was actually a good guy at heart. His allegiance to John Laurinaitis has done wonders for his character though, and WWE is clearly coming around to exactly how hateable this guy is, with his wonderfully irritating music and his delightfully ridiculous ad for legal services. I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Mr. Hudson.

But while I’m OK with Otunga as a character, I was none-too-pleased with the actual match he participated in this week on Monday Night Raw. My first problem is with how WWE is using their new United States Champion, Santino Marella – a guy fans were actually excited about for the first time in years – as nothing more than a pawn in a dopey feud between two non-wrestlers, John Laurinaitis and Teddy Long. Even worse, the match ended with the US Champion getting beat up, which doesn’t do anyone any favors in the long run. Yes, it was a handicap match at least, but Santino certainly didn’t look strong in it.

After Mark Henry gave Santino a proper whooping, they were joined in the ring by first Kofi Kingston, and then R-Truth, both of whom Henry quickly dispatched without anything resembling effort. I loved Henry’s run as a monster heel more than most people, but building him back up to the level he was at last year takes time and effort – having him squash a couple midcard guys does nothing for him, and only makes those guys look like losers. Even worse, next week Henry is scheduled to face John Cena, who will certainly give him a good match, but ultimately needs to go over in order to build to his WrestleMania contest against the Rock. Which, of course, makes the sacrifice of Kofi and Truth’s credibility totally in vain.