WWE Monday Night Raw 2/20/2012 - The Good, The Bad And The Ugly

Two funny things happen when I’m watching a particularly crummy episode of Monday Night Raw: 1) My lady comes in and makes fun of me and the choices I’ve made that have led to this point in my life, and 2) I start to come around on things that I would normally just hate. It might be my mind’s way of cutting down on cognitive dissonance, or possibly a weird wrestling-based Stockholm Syndrome, but whatever it is, I’m kind of digging David Otunga.

Don’t get me wrong, the guy can’t work to save his life and he never seems to have any clear idea on exactly what he’s supposed to be doing or the proper way to elicit any type of specific reaction aside from boredom, but boy howdy do I hate him a bunch, and isn’t that kind of the point of a heel? I reserve the right to change my opinion about this later, but I really love how much Otunga is making me hate him, especially now that WWE is letting him beat guys. Also, back in the old days, the bad old days, the all or nothing days of my stint at WWE.com, I got to interview the guy, and look how much fun we had! He can’t be all bad, right!?

Finally, if the big, humongous, black Ezekiel Jackson is losing to guys like Otunga, that means that he has about a week or two before WWE repackages him as a big funny love machine, right?

While the shy-about-being-bald Undertaker was cutting his in-ring promo this week, Twitter was abuzz at the disrespect, the insolence, the sheer audacity of the Minneapolis crowd to batter the Deadman with “WHAT!?” chants. Me, I’m not so shocked about the whole thing. Why? Because the Undertaker’s promo was f*cking boring.

Call me crazy, but I want Undertaker hanging out with Druids in the desert, brooding over an urn or even cutting his hair in a creepy stalker shrine to Triple H, not drawling his way through a rambling promo that amounts to, “Please, please, pretty please let me face you at WrestleMania, Mr. COBK (Chief Operating Barbarian King).” Things didn’t get any better when Triple H came out, as all it did was remind me of how great things were with Shawn Michaels there last week. The fact is that the only way this angle can really work is if Triple H were to go full-on chickenshit heel, which he clearly doesn’t want to do. Instead, we get our noses rubbed in what this match is really about: Triple H needing to prove that he’s at least as good as his smaller, more talented, retired friend, and also capable of having back-to-back instant classics at WrestleMania. Can he do it? Maybe, I don’t know, but his insistence upon stealing HBK’s thunder immediately after the guy left is absolutely disgusting. I kind of bought the reasoning that he was going to take the hotseat and follow HBK the first time to save any younger talents from the unreasonably high expectations, but doing it a second time just feels disrespectful. Like sleeping with a pal’s exgirlfriend and telling him about the weird stuff she just started doing since they broke up.

Also, what the hell kind of sense does it make for Triple H to not want to do the match because it’s so dangerous and might end Undertaker’s career and legend, and then agree to do the match only if it’s the most dangerous match of all? Again, I’m sure I’m going to enjoy watching these two old bastards knock one another around the Hell in a Cell, but wouldn’t it make more storyline sense if he were to demand, oh say, a Cuddle in a Puddle Match or something?

Every once in a while I’ll rant a bit about how WWE could be doing more with Santino. He’s not going to be the face of the company, and I don’t think you should put a World Title on him, but the guy’s got a lot of fan support, is fun to watch in the ring, and has been a great soldier for the company. He even had a really great heel run as Intercontinental Champ a few years back. Up until the past four days, he’s been a totally usable piece that WWE was kind of lazy about utilizing. But now? Now he’s a tremendous asset that WWE seems intent on squandering.

I hated, hated, hated the idea of Santino entering the SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match when I first heard it, but after watching the Battle Royal where he won the spot, I totally believed it, and was fully onboard with the Italian Stallion. At the very least, the guy works hard and deserved the pay-per-view payout. But at Elimination Chamber, he really surprised me, and I’m guessing most fans, as the breakout star of the entire event. By the time he got eliminated, I honestly felt like there was a chance he might walk out as World Heavyweight Champion, and even though he lost, he looked great doing it, and I was looking forward to how WWE might capitalize on a newly legitimized Santino.

The answer? Immediately book him in a match that he absolutely had to lose. Much like placing Mark Henry in a match against Sheamus, there was no good way to get out of a Daniel Bryan/Santino contest, as Bryan had to win, or risk tarnishing the World Heavyweight Title and his defense at WrestleMania. Of course, as is par for the, erm, course, WWE chose the worst of a bunch of bad options and had Bryan beat Santino unceremoniously with a submission maneuver. Good, I was worried that WWE might actually screw up and let a guy get over by virtue of good in-ring work and connecting with an audience.

This week’s Divas Match was mercifully short, and even better, it was already in progress by the time we came in from the commercial. Seems like someone at WWE has been reading my letters finally. Also, question for the audience: How is it that Eve is a ho, and Aksana, the woman dressed in all black lace who has been canoodling with her old creepy boss in order to get ahead, is a squeaky clean face? Food for thought, folks. Starting next week I’ll be accepting your papers on Inconsistency in Gender Roles and Expectations in WWE for this year’s Symposium.